Though now days it is not a common sight but you might have seen or at least heard of snake charmers. Snake charmer uses BEEN or PUNGI, a musical instrument, to charm the snakes.Our celebrities, sages, politicians are people charmer. They have such a charisma; people can do whatever they say without using their brain. In life, if we wish to expand our circle of influence, we need to learn the art of charming people.
And if you learn this art, use it for the welfare of people rather than fulfillment of your vested interests. It is not always necessary to know the way of doing things, it is important to know, how to get things done and that becomes easy when you know the art of charming people.
5 Tips for charming people :
1.Develop honesty in behavior and attitude.
2.Develop emotional intelligence to understand what people want and like.
3.Wear permanent smile on your face.
4.Develop sweet speech and calm mind.
5.Genuinely appreciate people and help them unconditionally.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
अपने आप चरित्र में , रखिये ऐसे तत्व।
आकर्षित करता सदा , चुंबक सा व्यक्तित्व।।
I was and still choosy about food to some extent. Whenever a new
dish comes before me I used to have 3 stages of eating. First I eat with eyes then with nose and then with the tongue. In this process it so happened that I am still deprived of delicious food available worldwide.In life also we get so obsessed with looks that most of the time we may over look real qualities of things and inside beauty of people.
A great scientist, Albert Einstein, came in contact with very beautiful lady and she proposed with an intention that your brain and my beauty can give us wonderful children. Scientist declined by saying if reverse happens; your brain and my beauty. Jokes apart, beautiful faces may be deceiving. Look beyond the looks. Nothing is more beautiful than inside beauty of a person.
5 Tips to Look at Beauty:
1. Do not decide any thing based on outer beauty.
2. Try to find inner qualities.
3. Use the things and Love the people rather than using the people
and loving the things.
4. Most of the people uses mask, trying to look behind that.
5. People are not difficult, they are different.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
ऊपर ऊपर देख के, करना नहीं बखान।
सुंदरता अंतस बसे, सच्ची ये पहचान।।
I do not recall where I read these three words recently but they caught my attention. Keep Yourself Green. Keeping green means keeping oneself always fresh, ageless, smiling, enthusiastic, optimistic etc. As soon as you wake up in morning, even before opening your eyes, bring smile on your face. Recite whichever prayer that you feel appropriate. Count your blessings. Thank God for whatever you have. Promise yourself that whatsoever may ever happen I will keep myself cool, fresh, positive and optimistic.
This green attitude will bring lots of peace in your mind and happiness in your life. All your decisions will be right and actions will be effective. It will solve your problems without much effort and you will be able to create positive difference in your surroundings. Your aura will become wider and your influence will be deeper. Try it.
5 Tips to keep you always green:
1. Before sleep close your eyes and fill your mind with positive thoughts.
2. Before opening your eyes in the morning, smile and fill your mind with positive thoughts.
3. As human being negativity and worries bound to come in our life, challenge is not to allow them to stay for long.
4. Specially, treat your juniors and children with smile and positivity.
5. Count your blessings. There are millions who are having dream to lead the kind of life you are leading.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
सदा प्रफुल्लित हम रहें, उमर न आये आड़।
मुस्काएं हर हाल में, चाहे चढ़े पहाड़।।
Often we give control of our mind, body, heart and soul to someone else. Some one said, live your dreams otherwise others will use you to fulfil theirs. I will not be exaggerating if I say 99% of people do not have any great plans when they get up in the morning. Their ideology is to flow with the flow.
Take control of your life by making your own decisions. There is nothing wrong in taking advise of various people but one should always take their own decisions. Decision leads to actions. One need to visualise consequences of his actions. There are also people who drive rashly and end up with an accident. I mean they take decisions with out any proper thought and analysis of consequences. That should be avoided.
5 Tips about how to drive your life safely and meaningfully.
1. Create an image in your head before physically creating it.
2. Thoroughly Visualise consequences before taking any action.
3. Take help of family, friends and experts if needed.
4. Take into confidence all concerned before taking any action.
5. Take quick action.
Indian culture and tradition gives lot of thrust on giving respect to the seniors and elders. In few communities and societies even children are treated with respect. We Indians get hurt quickly if someone is not giving respect in conversation. Due to the impact of western culture, new generation is not bothered about using extra respectful language for elders.
Whatever the culture is, every one seeks that he should be respected genuinely for his/her age, position, power & knowledge. Now a days, it is not easy to get respect only because of age, position, money or seniority. Respect needs to be earned.
5 Tips How to earn Respect.
1. Give respect to get respect.
2. Enhance your knowledge.
3. Be empathetic. Talk less, listen more.
4. Selflessly guide and help others.
5. Be resourceful and drop your ego.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
ना दौलत या उम्र अब , दे पाये सम्मान।
पाना पड़ता है इसे, नया दौर लो जान।।
Simple living high thinking is the mantra for creating happiness in life. Now a days, we have started buying things, more for showing off the family status to friends and society than for our own comfort. The logo on shirt and the emblem on the car gives more satisfaction than comfort of using it.
Many may argue that branded things are better in quality but it is equally true that similar quality things are also available at cheaper price. The other problem of running after a brand is that it gives more pain, if you don’t get it. Simplicity needs to be reflected not only in the kind of things we are using but also in each and every action of ours. For example the way we talk, the way we treat and behave with other people specially juniors. Simplicity is seen in every action of ours and it is possible only if we have high level of spiritual thinking. We need to reach a state where there are no more egos; attachment is at minimum level and where neither pleasure nor pains could turmoil our mind.
5 Tips for Simple living:
1. Look For comfort and utility while buying things.
2. Do not show off particularly to those who are a deprived lot.
3. Keep enhancing your wisdom and start looking within rather always seeking approval of others.
4. live the people and use things rather using the people and loving things.
5. Happiness and peace of mind shall be ultimate goal because that can give you permanent bliss. Money and wealth is temporary and attachment to that can give unbearable pains.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
दुनियाँ में विचरण करें, लेकर उच्च विचार।
खुशियों की है कुंजिका, सादा सद्वयव्हार।।
I lived for more than 10 years in Indonesia. Indonesia is the 4 most populated country with 90% plus Muslims. I learned the importance and impact of smile in Indonesia. A totally unknown person, irrespective of gender will give a subtle smile when you enter in lift or meet in close proximity. Human brain is designed to remember the images, not the words.
When we meet someone with a smiling face, he/she will remember us for years because we have left a positive image on his/her mind. Smile helps in radiating positive energy between people.
When we are upset but have learned to smile it can hold back our tongue from uttering unwanted words, it can seal our lips so that we do not regret later. Smile in the face of a problem can boost the enthusiasm around us. A smile on the face of a looser can take away the thrill of a winner.
5 Tips about smiling:
1. Smile genuinely. Fake smile may have negative impact.
2. Develop a habit of smiling.
3. Let gender, caste, creed, class not come between you and
your smile.
4. Greet first with smile.
5. Have positive thoughts. It is not possible to give genuine
smile with negative thoughts.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
मुस्काना तू सीख ले, बना इसे पहचान।
मीलो तेरी साथ में, जायेगी पहचान।।
Imagine 2 identical twins, having same physical appearance, eating similar food,wearing identical clothes, raised in same environment, attending same school, having same friend circle still they be have differently in similar situation. What differentiates them? The whole difference is how they think. Our words and actions are governed by what we think. Our destiny is the result of our thoughts. What we think, we speak.
Our words get converted into our actions. Repeated actions get converted into our habit. Old habits turn into our character and our character decides our destiny. So watch your thoughts if you want to change your destiny. Our thoughts are combination of our accumulated knowledge and present input through various senses.
What we receive in conscious stage, after analyzing in our brain, gets stored in our subconscious mind. Caution is required in what we are storing because that accumulated knowledge and wisdom will guide the intellect in future to take decisions.
5 Tips to manage thoughts:
1. Continuously watch your thoughts.
2. Do not allow negative thoughts to get stored in subconscious mind.
3. Continuously keep refining quality of your thoughts.
4. Reading good books helpin having better thought process.
5. Company of good people also helps in having better thoughts.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
रंग-रूप सब एक सा , इक ही जीवन-धार।
अलग-अलग व्यक्तित्व को ,करते अलग विचार।।
We are prospering in terms of wealth but our relationships are on the verge of bankruptcy. The prime reason is lack of transparency and trust. Our thoughts, words and actions are not aligned. People are smart enough to differentiate between actions and intentions. In such a situation, one can only have either formal or professional relationship but not trust based relationship.
No relationship can be strong if trust is lacking. Trust is the foundation of a long lasting relationship. The main reason for breakup in a relationship is the broken trust. Some time misunderstanding can crop up in-spite of our genuineness but best way to remove misunderstanding is to go and talk straight away. Speak up your mind and be transparent.
It will be easy to regain the lost trust. Transparency in words is not enough. One needs to be transparent in thoughts & actions also.Following needs to be done to be transparent.
5 Tips for maintaining transparency in relationship:
1. Align your thoughts, words and actions.
2. Develop courage to speak your mind with people.
3. Try to walkin the shoes of other person and understand the
situation from his/her point of view.
4. Take the feedback without trying to justify yourself.
5. Express your regret on realization of your fault.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
एकरूप रखना सदा ,शब्द-सोच व्यवहार।
पारदर्शिता -आस्था , रिश्तों का आधार।।
We humans have a tendency that when any one criticizes us, we immediately go in a defensive mode and start protecting ourselves. We may lie; we may give several justifications to prove that we are not wrong. In our educational institutes we have never been taught, how to accept criticism.
Basically, criticism triggers fear of punishment or rejection which is why, we start justifying our actions. It is not necessary that all criticisms are correct. It is quite possible that criticizer is biased and attacking politically or not wise enough to understand your point of view. It is important to differentiate between genuine criticism, unwise criticism and politically motivated criticism. Handling the criticism is an art.
5 Tips to handle criticism:
1. To know who is criticizing is important, whether he is a friend or a foe or fool.
2. If criticism is from a competitor defend it by facts, without revealing your emotions.
3. Listen carefully and introspect.
4. Avoid arguments. Just say thank you and carry on.
5. If you realize your mistake, accept it with all humility, and take steps to rectify it.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
निंदा अपनी सुन कभी ,होना नहीं उदास।
बुद्धिमान रखते सदा ,निंदक अपने पास।।
Whatever role you are playing or whatever field you are into, becoming powerful and influential in that field is of utmost importance. Power is needed to get fame and success.
Question is how to get genuine power?
Power is basically the fruit. To get good fruit one needs to nurture the root. Ability and capability are the roots of power. Therefore, it’s mandatory to keep developing ability and capability by learning and training. Mainly, power is categorized into three areas i.e. Physical, Mental and Monetary. In Indian mythology, Durga; Saraswati and Lakshmi symbolize them.
Though, in modern era, monetary power is considered more important than intellect and physical power. Yet, monetary power can’t be optimally utilized in absence of physical and mental power.
5 Tips to develop ability.
1. Select the field in which you want to increase your influence.
2. Keep Learning through education, training & reading.
3. Apply your intellect in practicality.
4. Interact with experts in the field.
5. Grow the network of people associated with the related field.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
क्षमता से ही हम बने ,दुनिया में बलवान।
उम्दा फल वो पेड़ दे , जो है क्षमतावान।।
Let your achievement speak about yourself rather than boasting your own work. Many people have the habit of blowing their own trumpet of their work and past achievements whenever, wherever and to whom so ever they meet. Though others may listen patiently but such people lose their reputation very quickly.
Secretly most of us have a desire to be appreciated but the best policy is not to opt for boasting about oneself. Let your work and achievements have their own glory. It does not mean that advertising is bad. Advertise your work, services, organization but not the self. Right time will come and you will be recognized for your work and that is the time to show your humbleness.
5 Tips to Glorify Your Achievement.
1. Prepare a smart presentation of your work done.
2. Present your work to the right person.
3. Chose right timefor the presentation.
4. Be truthful aboutfacts and figures.
5. Give appropriate credit to all involved.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
नहीं ढिंढोरा पीटिये ,ना कुछ करिये जाप।
करमों की उपलब्धियाँ ,बोले अपने आप।
Nowadays, most of the people don’t trust luck or destiny Probably, the reason is that the word “destiny” is not understood in the right perspective. Keeping in mind the basic rule of nature,
whatever “KARMA” we do now, “FAL” is bound to be there in future. That “FAL” is our luck or destiny. In some cases, result is immediate and in others it might take few years. However, as per
eastern philosophies,it might also occur after few births.
Whatever action we are taking now is our “KARMA” and whatever is happening to us now is the result of our past “KARMA”. Since, for luck, all the philosophies and religions have different views, thus, it has become a debatable issue. Nevertheless, all religions are having consensus on one thing that we should always do good “KARMA” and avoid bad “KARMA”. Best way to differentiate between good and bad is to ask your own conscious.
5 Tips to create your destiny.
1. Keep sowing the seeds of good “KARMA”.
2. Do not do anything, which is good for you but harmful for other.
3. Genuinely help others.
4. Avoid procrastinating your actions unnecessarily.
5. Think thoroughly about consequences before action.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
करनी कर्ता की करे ,सदा सार्थक काज।
सधे कदम ही आपकी , मंजिल का आगाज़।।
Happiness without any reason is the proprietary of enlightened.
Allowing mistakes is the first step for encouraging invention, innovation and initiatives. As a parent, as an elder, as a boss and as a leader of a society, we tend to analyze and criticize actions of juniors. We develop an attitude of I AM OK, YOU ARE NOT OK. In this process either we create rebellions or dumbs.
Allowing mistake does not mean that you allow dumb and repeated mistakes. There is a saying “if you never commit mistakes then you are in the category of God otherwise you are a human being”. Nonetheless, if you repeat mistakes then you fall in the category of fools. Apart from your juniors, allow yourself to make mistakes as well. Do not feel bad on realizing your own mistakes; do not blame othersfor the same.
When failures and mistakes are analyzed chances of repeating the same will drop drastically. Usually, mistakes occur due to ignorance, lack of knowledge and poor systems. When we do critical analysis,
then we can find innovative ways of not repeating them again.
5 Tips to handle mistakes.
1. Find the intentions behind mistake and deal accordingly.
2. Learn lessons from mistakes.
3. Avoid blame game.
4. Encourage creativity, innovation and initiatives.
5. Document it for future reference.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
नहीं दुबारा हों कभी, बाँध लीजिये गाँठ ।
कहती हैं ये गलतियाँ, सीखें हमसे पाठ ।।
Anger is one letter short of Danger. When flame of anger ignites, the very first thing it does is to destroy our wisdom. Whatever begins in anger; ends up in shame. When anger opens its gate, wisdom closes all its outlets. In anger intellect stops working and control goes in the hands of emotions. When we regain our cool, we regret our actions. However, by that time anger is done with its job of destruction. Subsequently, keeping control on anger is the highest level of wisdom.
The main reason of anger is our EGO also known as AHANKAR. When other person is unsuccessful in fulfilling our expectations, our ego starts building negative thoughts towards that person. We do not see the reason behind it especially from other’s point of view. Rather we keep on expecting from our viewpoint. The irony is that our anger is quicker and aggressive for our dear ones. Anger and stress live together in our mind and is the main cause of our bad health.
5 Tips to control Anger.
1. Develop a habit of detecting early signs of anger.
2. As soon as you realize that your anger is increasing, stop all communications.
3. Revisit the situation from other person’s point of view, analyze
and find out actual cause of unpleasant situation.
4. Forgetting and forgiving are the main mantras for controlling and diminishing anger and maintaining peace in life.
5. Try to be moderate with your expectations from others.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
चिंगारी जब क्रोध की, उड़ती है बिंदास।
सकल समझदारी बने, सबसे पहला ग्रास।।
We Indians are extremely stringent in appreciating others as well as self.Though there are many who are expert in faking appreciation, which is called as CHAMCHAGIRI in Indian slang. Normally, we are good in appreciating and encouraging children but refrain our self when it comes to appreciating our better half or a colleague. Praise can change anyone’s attitude and raise anyone’s altitude.
The power of appreciation in boosting confidence is tremendous. Appreciation encourages you to perform better in order to live up to the expectation of the one who praises. Many times the praise or appreciative words may be an exaggeration, nevertheless those words set a minimum bench mark for performance and one ends up with a better than expected performance. Genuine appreciation boost the moral and create happiness between the parties.
5 Tips for Genuine Appreciation.
1. Praise publicly, criticise privately.
2. Never miss an opportunity to praise.
3. Be truthful and genuine in praising.
4. If possible give some thing in reward along with the words.
5. Try to publicize good work in a relevant group
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
बोल प्रशंसा के मिले ,बढ़ता है उल्हास।
कर्ता के भी कर्म में ,जागे नव-विश्वास।।
How to get whatever you want? The first and most effective method is to “ASK FOR IT”. As a child, the very first thing we learn is “To Ask” but as we grow up, we feel shy in asking. Likewise, in personal and professional life, everyday we want to achieve something, which is not possible without taking help of others. If we feel inferior and shy, then it might hamper our growth.
In life we pass through three different stages i.e. Dependent, Independent and Interdependent. As a child or in the initial stage of anything, we are dependent and normally do not hesitate to ask but as we grow in our role we feel independent and that’s the point where our ego starts building up. Principally, it’s our ego which stops us from asking others. Finally we realise that there is contribution of lot of people for our success and interdependence is must and taking help of others is necessary in life.
5 Tips How to Ask without shying.
1. Always be ready to help others. Actually, helping others takes away guilt feeling and eases us in asking for help whenever required.
2. Ask without hesitation. Normally people feel strong and elevated when someone asks them for help.
3. Ask only when you genuinely need help.
4. Asking for financial help shall be avoided unless you are having trust on that person.
5. Ask for help from those who are capable of helping.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
खुलकर हरदम पूछ लें ,पग-पग प्रश्न हजार।
भूले सा ना बीच में , रखे अहं दीवार।।
A person with positive attitude creates an atmosphere of optimism and happiness around him. All forces start working to help achieve the target of a person having right attitude. Generally, people tend to avoid persons having negative attitude due the fact that negative attitude creates an atmosphere of depression and pessimism around him/her. Such persons are always under stress because of the feeling that nobody is there to help them.
Positive attitude is the result of positive thinking. One can’t have positive attitude with negative thoughts. When thoughts and attitude are not aligned, the person loses trust. As a human being, negative thoughts are bound to come, but aware of them always and get rid of them as early as possible.
We deal with several people in our day to day working and it is important that we know about their attitude. Generally, if a person is having genuine smile on his/her face, chances are bright that person is carrying a positive attitude.
5 Tips to maintain Positive Attitude.
1. Never lose hope and be an optimist.
2. Allow only positive thoughts to stay in your mind.
3. Keep appreciating people around you.
4. Discuss but do not argue.
5. Wear an enduring smile
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
हम खुद के अंदाज़ का, हरदम रखें खयाल।
तेवर से ही आदमी, ऊँचा रखता भाल।।
There is a saying that to ASSUME means to make an ASS out of U and ME. God has given us mind and intellect to use it wisely, logically and creatively but we waste the same in assuming insensible things. When our ego is slightly hurt we start building all negative feelings about that person by assuming things for which the other person has no clue. Those negative feelings keep on piling up and suddenly blast at a wrong time, in a wrong place and in wrong context.
The solution is, if you get hurt by your friend, relative, family or colleague, straightway go to him and express what you are feeling. In 99% cases, chances are that all misunderstandings will vanish while discussing and you will have a better bonding for future. If you keep on assuming, your relationship will be eaten away, like termite eating wood silently.
5 Tips to avoid negative assumptions.
1. Stay alert about what you are thinking.
2. Clarify assumptions at earliest.
3. Tolerate small things.
4. Try to understand from other person’s point of view.
5. Whenever possible clarify in writing.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
गलत धारणाएँ लिए,भटक रहें गर आप !
जाने कब विस्फोट कर , उबल पड़े संताप।।
Until and unless you are a celebrity, chances are very slim that a person will remember your name after meeting you for the first time. Research says that it requires around 5-7 meeting before your name gets registered with a person.
The main reason for not remembering the name is that people are not able to create an image with your name. They are not able to link your name and your face. People will remember your face and other details about you but they tend to forget the name. It is worse for people like me who have a short memory. Quite often I confess to people and ask them to excuse me for my short memory and growing age.
Though it is the other person’s responsibility to remember your name but it is equally our duty as well to make sure that the other person does not forget your name.
5 Tips to make sure that other people remember your name
1. While introducing repeat your name twice e.g. “I am Hemant, Hemant Lodha.”
2. During the talk try to insert your name in the conversation e.g. “My father use to tell Hemant…. “
3. While introducing link your name with famous personalities, places etc. e.g.– Hemant, Hemant Kumar the famous singer.
4. If your name has a meaning then try to explain it while introducing yourself. Like Hemant is also the name of a season in Hindi language.
5. After the first meeting send a “Thank you” message for the meeting. You may connect on social media and send birthday wishes, seasons greetings etc.
Short cuts have their own shortcomings. If a fruit takes certain number of days to grow, let that take its own time. By adding certain chemicals and fertilizers process may be hastened by few days but it can’t have same nutritional values and taste . In few circumstances short cuts may be beneficial but in most of the cases short cuts result into inferior quality of final product or services.
Nowadays, people are adopting all sorts of illegal and unethical practices for becoming wealthy. This approach might be beneficial in short term but one should also be ready to face adverse consequences of it sooner or later in life.
At the same time, it does not mean that we cannot cut down unnecessary time taking processes. Efficiency is important but it should not be at the
cost of quality and intrinsic values. There is nothing wrong in taking shortest path but it should achieve same quality and output.
5 Tips for Short Cuts.
1. Do not compromise or interfere with natural processes.
2. Do not compromise on quality.
3. Do not compromise on ethical and moral values.
4. Use short cuts to improve efficiency without compromising quality.
5. Have patience.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
क्षणिक फायदे के लिए, छोडो तुच्छ निवेश।
शॉर्टकट मत लीजिये, जो उपजाए क्लेश।।
Although “what is wasteful” is a very relative term and it varies from person to person; yet, it is a decision of ones own wisdom. One may be very rich but living in a city having acute water shortage. In that scenario, he will be forced to use water wisely. On the other hand, one very poor person living on the bank of a flowing river might use water liberally without giving a second thought.
Abundance of resources should not be a criteria for utilizing and wasting things. For instance, in a buffet most people fill their plates without thinking whether they will be able to finish it or not. In country like India, we cannot think of wasting food, where more than 50% of population gets food once a day only. Also, for providing resources (such as power and water) at subsidized rates, government has to put lot of efforts, which is why, one needs to be very stringent in utilizing such resources.
5 Tips to avoid wasteful expenditure.
1. Identify waste areas such as water, electricity, fuel, paper etc.
2. Adopt 4R’s: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and Recover.
3. Use alternative method like video conferencing instead of traveling.
4. Utilize cheaper but same quality products.
5. Encourage and educate children and youth for waste minimization.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
जरुरत के अनुसार ही, भरिये सदा गिलास।
उतना ही जल लीजिये, जितनी होवे प्यास।।
The moment we fail, either in exam, in job, in venture, in relationship or any aspect of life, we start looking for a people or circumstances on which we can blame our failure. Blaming others is neither going to convert failure into success nor it is going to teach us a lesson for the future. It is quite possible that others might have contributed to the failure however, if we deeply analyze it, we will find that we ourselves are the major cause of the failure. Carefully look at the spelling of blaME. ME to be blamed first for whatever wrong happening in my life.
There is a need to develop a habit of identifying fault in self; instead of others. Stephen Covey in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has described first habit as “Be Proactive”. Focus on the circle of influence. The circle of influence starts with us as the center of the circle.
5 Tips to avoid blame game.
1. Analyze the reasons for failure.
2. Answer the question: What you could have done to avoid failure ?
3. Focus on reasons of the failure rather than person behind it.
4. Document the lessons learned for future use.
5. Even If any individual is the reason for failure, avoid blaming.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
अपना आप टटोलिये ,टालें वाद -विवाद।
दोषारोपण से बचें , असफलता के बाद।।
When we step-out of a house, our destination is in our mind. But most of us are living entire life without any purpose. It might not be easy to decide the ultimate goal however; it’s also not difficult to decide short-term and medium-term goals. Goals may be materialistic, emotional, intellectual or spiritual but life without goal is like a bird without wings. For e.g. people without goal might achieve something but their achievement will always be lower than their potential. If a proper guidance is available, goals could be more defined and specific.
Expert say that your goals must be SMART (Specific; Measurable; Attainable; Relevant; Time Bound). If goals are not SMART then they are not goals, they are just wishes. Written goals have always better chances of getting fulfilled so always keep writing and modifying goals periodically. When the END is defined, chances are very high that you will reach the END otherwise wherever you reach, you consider that as the END.
5 Tips to set Goals.
1. Visualise your life and decide on short-term and long-term goals.
2. Let the goals be SMART. (Specific; Measurable; Attainable; Relevant; Time Bound).
3. Write them down and make a strategy to achieve them.
4. Review your goals periodically and reset them as per relevance.
5. Take help of a expert if required.
Whatever our mind can conceive, it can achieve. The limitation is in our thoughts. In accordance with the “Law of attraction”, whole universal forces will act together, if one has a faith in his/her desires and dreams. For that, we need to buildup confidence in our own abilities. Confidence comes naturally with success but success only bestows on those who are confident enough. Likewise, confidence doesn’t come when you have solutions to problems. Rather, it comes when you are ready to face difficulties. Lack of confidence destroys our ability to act.
Now, the question is how to develop faith, trust and belief. Either trust your abilities or take the help of God you believe in. Fundamentally, it is not God who will perform your job, it is actually your trust in God, which will compel you to work for your dreams. Only belief is not enough to achieve. It is just a basic step. Your beliefs have to be coupled with your actions. Moreover, God helps those, who help themselves.
5 Tips to develop confidence.
1. Try to become an expertin yourfield.
2. Be positive and trust your abilities.
3. Develop presentation and communication skills.
4. Involve relevant and competent people.
5. Celebrate small victories.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
मन जो भी सपना बुने, या जो भी है आस।
मंज़िल का है रास्ता, ख़ुद पर का विश्वास।।
There are three categories of circumstances or situations. First category is where situation is under our control. The complete control of circumstances is in our hands as we have got full influence on that. Every one has got full control on his mind, body, heart and soul. Though very few control it because most of us have a tendency to give control of our mind and body in the hand of others.
Second category of situation or circumstances is when we can’t control the situation, which is affecting us. This type of situation arises mostly in our family, work, society, city or in our country. We might be affected positively or negatively by that situation but actually we have little or no influence on that. For example, if your boss gives promotion to your colleague or competitor, you feel sad but practically can’t change his/her decision except to keep performing as best as you can.
Third category of situation is when, neither the event is in your control nor it has direct or indirect effect on you. Such as, some one is elected as a prime minister in Argentina. In situations second & third, it is better to accept things.
5 Tips for Change or Accept:
1. Identify the situation and decide whether to accept or change.
2. Make continuous efforts to enlarge your circle ofinfluence.
3. Make continuous efforts for improving things under your control.
4. Make sure change is as painless as possible for you and others.
5. Use creativity and innovation for bringing change.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
बदलो अपने आप को, या कर लो स्वीकार।
चला जा रहा वक़्त ये, अपनी ही रफ़्तार।।
When Buddha got enlightened he did not speak for a week. He was contemplating whether he shall spread his wisdom or not. He thought if people are wise, there is no point of teaching and if they are ignorant then they may not understand his wisdom. Finally he thought even few of can get benefit, the purpose of sharing knowledge will be served.
It is not necessary that you get first enlightened like Mahavir or Buddha then only you are eligible for distribution of knowledge & wisdom. If it will be so then no parent will have right to give teachings to their children and no teacher will have right to teach their students. If their are millions who are more intelligent and wise then you then at the same time their are billions who are more ignorant then you. Whatever knowledge you have, you shall share and your wisdom will increase more.
5 tips for sharing knowledge
1. Find out what you are best at, then average people.
2. Find out who will be benefitted with your knowledge.
3. Find out which skill you are better at, whether Writing or speaking.
4. Prepare your sharing material like teacher, trainer or preacher.
5. Spare some time every day, week or month to share your knowledge and wisdom.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
बाँटों दौने ज्ञान के, जग में करो प्रकाश।
इससे अपनी बुद्धि को, मिले नया विकास।।
In Indian mythology, Lord Hanuman never knew that he has an ability to fly till Lord Rama made him realize. Like that, we all have immense hidden abilities and potential but most of the time we set our own psychological limits and do not challenge ourselves.
We all know the vast difference between our knowledge as a child versus modern age children. Academic curriculum variation in today’s time versus 50 years back is immense. Children have amazing ability to grasp; it is we who put limitations, fearing they may be over burdened. Research has proved that a normal person use only 2-3% of his brain while genius uses 7-10%. Imagine the extent of potential being wasted. People are same as far as physical appearance is concerned like every one has 2 eyes, 2 hands etc. but they are different in utilizing their potential.
5 Tips to challenge your limits:
1. Everyday devote around 15-30 minutes on quality thinking.
2. Accept the challenges with courage.
3. Always try to set stretched goals.
4. Determination and dedication is the key to success.
5. Accept the failures as lessons and bounce back with more zeal.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
अपनी क्षमता का नहीं, हमको कुछ आभास।
हद अपनी है तोड़ना, ख़ुद पे रख विश्वास।।
If someone says ‘I Trust You’ then it’s a bigger compliment than ‘I Love You’. Gaining trust of anyone is harder than gaining love. When you trust someone you surrender yourself. You will be confident that he/she will always be available for you. Also, you will be sure that he/she will not take you for granted.
Now, question is why we trust someone or why someone will trust us. The first and foremost quality needed to develop trust is by bringing honesty in our behavior. Our thoughts, words and actions must be aligned for someone to trust us. People are very smart in finding out contradictions in our thoughts and actions. It takes years to build it but it takes few seconds for trust to shatter.
Trust is considered as a base for building strong relationship. Whether it is a case of a family or work, trust is needed to have strong bonding. Apart from honesty, other character traits also play vital role in developing trust such as integrity, fairness, thoughtfulness, humbleness, kindness and sincerity. Even the trust worthy person can have some personality flaws but if people trust him/her, they would overlook those flaws.
5 Tips to develop Trust.
1. Develop honesty in your behavior.
2. Overcome character flaws.
3. Trust people to gain trust in return.
4. Be emotionally intelligent.
5. Align your thoughts, words and actions
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
कर्म शब्द विचार सभी, निर्मित करे चरित्र।
इन सब से विश्वास का, पैदा हेता इत्र।।
Right from childhood we start learning how to compete with others. Parents start comparing siblings. In school, we compete with fellow students. Likewise, in office, we compete with other colleagues. It is just like a war, where one is always fighting to be on the top. In such conditions how can one learn to love ? It does not mean that we should not work for betterment of our performance.
One should compete only with self and always try to improve. These things give more satisfaction and less stress. Comparison and competition are negative emotions and create war rooms.While comparing, if you become number one, you will lose the thrill of doing further progress or if your opponent is so strong, you may lose any enthusiasm to grow. In both situations, one can lead to stagnancy but when you are competing with self, you are always progressing and growing.
5 Tips to compete with self.
1. Set your own targets.
2. Do not envy others progress.
3. Never compare your children and juniors with others unless it’s absolutely necessary.
4. Celebrate your own small successes to get motivated for future goals.
5. Be genuine in appreciating others.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
नहीं सफलता से किसी, जलना तुम श्रीमान।
ख़ुद से करे मुक़ाबला, अपनी क्षमता जान।।
I am the best. I know all. No one can beat me. I do not need anybody’s help. When such types of thoughts exist in mind, it is a sign of complacency. Such people think that their glass is full of milk and there is no space for anyone else. They forget that even full glass of milk has a scope for one teaspoon of sugar, which can make milk sweeter. Basically, complacency kills creativity and new ideas stop emerging.
Once you reach the top, it takes more efforts to remain there. For that, one needs to be humble. One should always be ready to make changes, learn new things, enhance knowledge and accept suggestions. Instead of that, if complacency sets in, one can be sure of sliding down.
To avoid trap of complacency, develop more flexibility, humbleness, politeness and openness. Keep on learning more skills, enhancing knowledge, and adding values in whatever role you are playing.
5 Tips to avoid Complacency.
1. Be ready to be in a learning and listening mode.
2. Do not believe your press agents.
3. Keep inviting feedback and criticism.
4. Keep reviewing strategies.
5. Be polite and humble, as you rise high.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
सारा कुछ मैं जानता, जिनका ये विश्वास।
फिसल गए वो साख से, बन कर खुद के दास।।
Conquering mind is easy to say but it’s the most difficult thing to achieve. People like Buddha and Mahavir could do that. It is not easy to define what is mind but with an analogy it is easy to understand that mind is like bridles of 5 horses in a chariot. 5 senses can be termed as 5 horses. Our intellect is like a driver of the chariot.
Our mind gets inputs from all senses and store them for immediate or future use. Our actions are the result of feelings and experiences we have collected in our past. Whether we are doing good or bad or not doing any thing, all is in command of our mind. Our intellect gives decision for doing or not doing things based on the arguments put forth by our mind and our conscious. When the senses are not in control, they will force mind to get permission of intellect and do whatever they want to do. What we are and what we will become is the outcome of our mind’s quality. Mind has ability to design our destiny whether good or bad.
5 Tips to conquer mind.
1. Always be alert about your thoughts.
2. Bury negative thoughts.
3. Nurture positive thoughts.
4. Initiate actions with positive thoughts only. Avoid any action while you are having negative thoughts.
5. Develop strong will power to destroy negativity.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
जिसने वश में कर लिया, अपने मन का मोर।
उसके हाथो में रहे, जीवन की ये डोर।।
Though this tip is useful for all but I wrote keeping in mind NRIs returning back to India for a permanent settlement. You will see people breaking traffic rules, throwing waste from car windows, spitting on road, urinating on roadside, not reaching on appointed time. There are hundreds of similar examples and you will feel frustrated by looking at such things. Frustration is going to spoil your mood and your day.
Accept the reality that your frustration is not going to change the behavior of people surrounding you. If you think, you can change them; then your entire life will be short even to inculcate one good habit in all citizens. The best strategy is not to change the good habits you have developed. Try to train your near and dear ones about adopting good habits. Never lose control on your mood and feel frustrated. Slowly expand your circle of influence. Hundreds of time you will feel that your efforts are useless and you may fall in trap of losing even your own good habits. Control your frustration by adopting below mentioned tips.
5 Tips to Control Frustration:
1. Make a list of your frustrations.
2. Change or accept the situation.
3. Focus on what is in your control.
4. Communicate directly with person whose behavior frustrates you.
5. Replace your frustration with positive thinking.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
मनमाफिक जो ना दिखे, होना नहीं निराश।
सदगुण ख़ुद के माँजना, होये बिना हताश।।
Most of us are craving to get authority and power as much as possible and as early as possible however we forget that responsibility precedes authority. We want to enjoy the fruits of power but hesitate to take the pain of responsibility. The word responsibility is combination of response plus ability. Ability to respond with decisions and actions. When the people in the position of authority fail to respond to a situation and develop a habit of procrastination, organisation starts sliding down and environment of chaos can be seen around that person. If a person of authority is quick in taking decisions and actions, one can find an efficient and effective organisation around him.
On the other side if a person is given with responsibility but not entrusted with enough authority, he will not be able deliver the results. Authority and responsibility shall go hand in hand and shall commensurate with each other. If you want authority, start taking responsibility and you will see that eventually authority is following you.
5 Tips to handle authority and responsibility:
1. First take responsibility, authority will follow.
2. Many times a formal authority may be entrusted, start using authority in the interest of organisation.
3. Do not procrastinate decisions and actions, you may lose the authority soon.
4. If the authority is clearly defined, do not exceed without taking all concern in confidence.
5. If you are in a position to pass on responsibility, delegate sufficient authority otherwise chances are you will not get desire results.
पहले ख़ुद को सिद्ध कर,
बन कर ज़िम्मेदार।
बिन माँगे तुझको मिले,
मनचाहे अधिकार।।
India ranks 94th on the global corruption perception index. Practically speaking, every Indian is corrupt if you consider giving bribe as a part of corruption. Corruption ranges from as simple as getting a seat unethically in train to illegally holding a dead body by
police for cremation. Most of the employees either in government or in private sector take bribe for performing their job. Similarly, most of the entrepreneurs give bribe for getting things done in their favour.
Tax evasion is also a type of corruption as most of the taxpayers in some or the other way try to evade tax resulting in distorted development of our country.At an individual level, corruption can give progress over a short period of time. However, it won’t be able to provide peace even for a brief period. In India,it’s the major cause of high stress level, diabetes, hypertension and blood pressure. The sad part of corruption is that nowadays, it is so prevalent, that our conscious is getting immune to its spread. It has become a way of life but somewhere deep inside our subconscious level it is corrupting our day-to-day peace.
5 Tips to reduce/ stop corruption.
1. Elect honest leader as a country head.
2. Follow rules to avoid giving bribe.
3. Stressing on the importance of moral education at primary level.
4. Bringing transparency in governance by e-governance.
5. Simplifying tax structure.
नोच रहा मन का अमन,
बढ़ता भ्रष्टाचार ।
कारण बढ़े तनाव के,
करिये ज़रा विचार।।
दोहा अविनाश बागड़े
Everything seems valuable, either before getting it or after losing it. We do not value the things which we possess and do not care for people who are in our lives. We behave in a childish manner. Most of the time we spend our entire life in getting things, which we desire and dream badly, and in that process we ignore things, which we own. The pleasure, which we can avail now, is traded for future expectations. As soon as, one desire is fulfilled, another crops up. In that process, we spend our entire life in the state of unhappiness.
Furthermore, we do not care for living ones, who are blessing in our life and we regret when we lose them. The secret of happiness is to count your blessings. There are millions who have dreams to live the kind of life you are blessed with. The biggest blessing is life itself. I feel fortunate that I am born as a human being. The most wonderful machine of universe is in our possession. Do not ignore it. Do not waste this life. Utilize full potential of it.
5 Tips to count your blessings.
1 . Make list of all good things in your life.
2. Appreciate, love and care about what you have.
3. Love people and use things rather than using people and loving things.
4. Everyday say “Thank You God” for whatever you have.
5. Do not regret in case you lose something. Probably, the role of that thing or person is over in your life.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
ख़ुशियों के देता हमें, गुलदस्ते भगवान।
गिनती करके देखिये, कितने है वरदान।।
An individual can be courageous at different aspects of personality such as physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. It is also quite possible in one aspect a person is courageous but in another he is fearful. People are courageous, fearless, confident, knowledgeable, powerful, & astoundingly rich but, do they use maturity in showing all these qualities. The word “maturity” over here can be defined as behaving in right way at right time, at right place and with right people.
A man can be physically very strong but may beat his wife. An extremely knowledgeable person may call his competent a junior fool. A very rich person may not give enough salary to his employees. What is the use of such courage, braveness or affluence? Courage without maturity is like a man without brain. Courage is needed to show consideration for the weak. The right combination of courage and consideration reflects maturity. Such people are more calm, kind, humble and down to earth.
5 Tips to develop and use courage.
1. Different techniques should be used for developing courage at different level.
2. To overcome the fear,face it.
3. Demonstrate courage with maturity.
4. Do not misuse your courage to suppress the weaker.
5. Courage requires mental toughness rather than physical strength.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
मन के जो पक्के रहे ,करते सोच-विचार।
उनके साहस का रहे, मानवता आधार।।
The best way to have good-luck is to create your own destiny. Most of you will question that how one can create his own destiny. You may reject the idea as being rubbish. Destiny is nothing but day-to-day things one does on a daily basis, reaction of those actions emerges as a destiny in future. You plant a mango tree today and take care ofit by giving water and fertilizer;infuture you are bound to get mangoes.
Our problem is we fail to take decision even for small matters such as what to cook tonight or what to wear in the party. We give command of our life in the hands of others. Allowing some one to rule your life for sake of love is different but receiving commands for important matters, will lead you to become what others want to make you, not what you want to become. If you wish to fulfil your dreams, create your own path.
5 Tips to create your path:
1. Be incharge of your actions.
2. Set the vision, decide the strategy and act accordingly.
3. Differentiate between good karma and bad karma. Focus on good karma only.
4. Be clear about your role and do your duty.
5. Only action is in your hand, not the consequences. Keep patience. Result of good karma will certainly be good.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
नज़र निशाने पे रहे, लगे लक्ष्य पे बाण।
अपने सपनों के लिये, करे सुपथ निर्माण।।
The Spelling of HABIT is very interesting. You remove H, A BIT is there. Remove A, BIT is there. Remove B, IT is still there. Habits can be positive as well as negative. Mostly, when we have lesser control on our senses, we develop negative habits. To develop a positive habit one needs a strong mind. Irony is that, many times we are not even aware of our negative habits, so taking regular feedbacks from our near and dear ones can help in knowing our bad habits.
Having the knowledge of bad habit is the first step towards working in the direction of removing it. Research says that removing an old habit or developing a new habit requires conscious efforts of 21 days. In 21 days, if you miss any day then start counting again from one. One thing for sure, expecting positive results from negative habit is like expecting mangoes from a neem tree. A habit whether good or bad, is like a master which controls you as a slave.
5 Tips to deal with bad habits:
1. Make a list of bad habits.
2. Deal with one at a time.
3. Develop strong will power.
4. Ask your near and dear ones to help you in fighting bad habit.
5. Develop a good habit to replace a bad habit.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
अच्छी आदत आपको, देती सदव्यव्हार।
ग़लत आदतों का करे, जड़ समेत संहार।।
In the era of information bombardment it is advisable to follow some rules as a member of whatsapp group.
1. Individual chatting, wishes etc. should be avoided in group.
2. When group is made for specific purpose, copy paste of general jokes, videos, cartoons should be avoided.
3. Except family or close friends group good morning/night msgs are irrelevant.
4. Any negative comment on religion, community, political party should not be posted because indirectly we may hurt others.
5. Verify authenticity of message when circulating messages for good cause.
6. If you do not like or have objection on any post, express one to one.
7. Bulk post shall be avoided because most of the readers skip them.
8. Do not criticise other members in group.
9. Admin shall inform rules of the group at start of making group or introducing new member.
10. Use broadcast feature for passing information to the members of any type of association or group of people.
11. On the occasion of birthday or anniversary of members. Admin or any one person shall post greetings. Rest of the members shall greet directly and individually to the person rather than posting in the group. Gratitude of thanks shall also be given direct to the person who has greeted. That will save time of other members.
12. Suppose there are 100 members in the group. Before posting imagine that you are on stage and all members are seating before you and listening. If you feel it’s relevant and useful for all then only post.
If you agree to above and if you wish to add further rules, pls add and forward.
River water can cut the rocks not only because of its force but because of its perseverance. Extra-ordinary intelligence or charismatic behavior is not at all mandatory for becoming successful in life. The only thing which matters here is your determination to overcome difficulties. Once the target is set, continuity of efforts is needed to get the results. Problems would arise, but problems look tiny in front of person whois standing like a rock for his/her mission. Frankly speaking, determined person would always find innovative ways to overcome any difficulty.
Let’s take example of fields such as sports, politics, films,industries or agriculture, success has been achieved by each and every person who was determined for his/her cause. Most gifted tennis player does not become a champion, but most determined and dedicated one does. Most Intelligent person does not become most successful entrepreneur, most determined and dedicated does. Take any field; if you have determination and dedication, it can overcome any weakness.
5 Tips for determination:
1. Do not entertain any excuses.
2. Follow strict time discipline.
3. Let failure not deter you.
4. Keep trust in self and the God.
5. Keep patience. Rewards take their own time to materialize.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
ठान लिया मन मे अगर, पर्वत शीश झुकाय।
दृढ प्रतिज्ञ के सामने, जग बौना हो जाय।।
Generally, we make rigorous efforts to make our children and subordinates as our photo copies by constantly saying them things, which are right from our perspective. In this process, we forget and ignore that every person is different and he/she needs to build his/her own strengths. Having different skills, knowledge, attitude, and thinking should not be viewed as weakness rather it should be explored and utilized as strengths. People are not useless; infact they are not utilized to their fullest potential. Trying to fit a round person in a square peg will be stressful and useless.
Good leaders are those who can find different qualities in a person and give him/her role, which suits his/her personality. In a team if every person is doing a role, which he/she is passionate about, then the team will perform at the level, which no one can match.
5 Tips to Appreciate Differences:
1.Encourage opposite views that will help you to understand problem in a holistic way.
2.Find out strengths and weaknesses of self, including other members of the team.
3.Capitalize on complementary qualities of each team member.
4.Respect different qualities of people.
5.Do not compare or compete self with others.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
अलग अलग गुण धर्म के, होते सब इंसान।
विभिन्नता से ही बने, ये दुनिया बलवान।।
Bhagavad Geeta advices : Do your duty but do not worry about rewards whereas most of us want rewards without doing any duty. In India, millions of people everyday will queue up in front of temples and pray to the God for fulfillment of various desires but will not make enough efforts to deserve those rewards.
Several times in life we feel that we are not getting rewards to the extent we deserve. However, if we deeply analyze the reasons for failure we will find that somewhere our efforts were not enough. Sometimes, external factors, which are beyond our control might also play role in failure but blaming external reasons is not going to grant any success.
5 Tips to deserve reward :
1.Desires are not enough without efforts.
2.Give your 100% in whatever you are doing.
3.Have patience for receiving reward.
4.Let failure not disappoint you from putting further efforts.
5.Keep in mind that external factors are beyond your control.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
सफल इरादे आपके, तब होंगे श्रीमान।
लायक जब उसके लिये, बन जाओ इंसान।।
It is not that all rules are good and rational but breaking rules is not civilised. If you do not like a rule try to change it but do not attempt to break it. Breaking rule creates anarchy. It disturbs life of good citizens.
Once in Canada my son was driving in night at around 11pm and I was sitting besides him. The roads were totally deserted but he stopped. I did not understand why he stopped. When I asked, he said there is a white line and the rule is to stop for a second, look around and if no one is coming from the other side then move ahead.
The rules can be as simple as traffic rules and as difficult as coming before 9pm in the hostel. People who are disciplined and do not break rules are always respected. Even if you are a good performer but not disciplined, you can never become a star employee.
5 Tips to follow the rules :
1. Be aware of rules about whatever things you are doing.
2. Follow rules religiously particularly when you are out of your home.
3. Do not feel upset when others are breaking rules.
4. When you are a rule maker, make sure it is practical.
5. Do not criticize rules, if you cannot change them.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
नियम न कोई तोड़ियें, होता नहीं सहाय।
नियम अगर प्रतिकूल हैं, बदलों, करो उपाय।।
Most of the relationships, whether at work or in life, get strained because instead of maintaining discussion we generally end up having an argument, even on small and unimportant issues. Discussion clarifies things whereas argument always ends up with a fight.
Every person is right from his point of view. Actually, a person is guided by his thoughts, experiences, knowledge and circumstances. It is not that the other person is always against you; it is mostly because he/she thinks differently.
In a discussion, there is a scope to listen to others point of view. But when argument starts, a person doesn’t want to listen anything else. If we listen attentively and empathetically, it would lead to better ideas and solutions. Be cautious on discussion drifting towards an argument, pull it back and keep it within the limits of discussions only.
5 Tips to avoid argument :
1.Plan your discussion.
2.Listen empathetically.
3.When you are about to lose control, stop immediately.
4.Learn to avoid argument on small matters.
5.Give more emphasis on relationship.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
चर्चा – परिचर्चा करें, बचें बहस से आप।
चर्चा से हल हो सदा, बहस रचे संताप।।
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