5 tips to select head of organisation

During last 33 years I have worked with several organisations, in India and abroad. I have been part of various non profit organisations also. Some time as member or some time got opportunity to lead the same. My conclusion is, head of the organisation has capability to either make organisation better or break it in pieces. Many times you might have observed that organisation remain the same but as soon as the head changes either it get so efficient, vibrant and captivating or becomes dull and lifeless. The quality of organisation is complete reflection of quality of its leadership. An energetic and efficient leader can single handedly make, even a very big organisation, efficient and effective. Selection of right leader is the single most critical factor to make organisation successful or failure.

 

5 Tips for selecting Head of Organisation:

 

1) Leader must have good communication skills.

 

2) Leader shall be competent enough to Head of Organisation.

 

3) Leader shall be willing and energetic to take the responsibility to run the organisation.

 

4) Leader must have enough time to lead the organisation and create successor.

 

5) Change the leader immediately if any of the above attribute is missing otherwise organisation will have slow death.

How to improve competence of staff?

5 Tips How to improve competence of staff:

 

Incompetency of the staff is one of the major problem of developing and under developed countries. The main reason for the same is poor education, lack of exposure and insufficient experience. There is no lack of sincerity or hard work but lack of innovative and smart work. Entrepreneurs neither have patience to train them nor ready to invest in the growth of employees. This ultimately result in to poor performance of individual as well as enterprise.

 

The difference in average organisation and world class organisation is quality of its employees. Once a great leader said that you take my all assets but leave my key employees and in no time I will again create a world class organisation.

 

5 Tips to improve competence of staff:

 

1) Whenever you hire a new person, first create a job profile and role clarity and search person accordingly rather recruiting first and creating a position according to him. Neither recruit a over qualified person nor under qualified. Focus on quality of person while recruitment rather than quantity. Quality people are always expensive.

 

2) In any organisation only 5% tasks require innovativeness. 95% tasks are of routine nature. Create detailed processes and efficient systems for performing routine tasks so that dependence on human intervention reduces drastically. Use information technology as much as possible.

 

3) Invest continuously on training. Training is not an expense. Training shall be continuous process.

 

4) For existing employees try to match person’s competencies with job requirement. If require shuffle the jobs among staff.

 

5) Tell people clearly what is expected of them. Set their goals in writing. Review the results periodically. Go in depth of non achievements of goals. Reset the goals for next period.

Achieving Everlasting Happiness

5 Tips for Synchronise 3H and achieve everlasting Happiness.

 

Are you looking for happiness in life? It is an irrelevant question because everyone will answer in YES. It is not necessary that person with all luxuries is happy or financially a very poor person is unhappy. Luxuries can give comforts and increase pleasures or even can reduce pain but happiness is purely dependent on a person internal state of mind. The simple formula for achieving eternal happiness is synchronising 3H (Hands, Head and Heart). In other way it is aligning mind, body and heart.

 

It is easier said than done. The biggest disadvantage of urbanisation and industrialisation is that we have adopted artificialness and diplomacy. Our mind, intellect and actions are not synchronised. We use so many masks that we have forgotten what real we are. We have suppressed and buried the voice of conscious so deeply that we are totally deaf about its echo. Our intellect is so much guided by our senses and bodily pleasures that it has stopped evaluating what is right and what is wrong. Our actions have become so much self oriented that we have no consideration for the feeling of others. We can not remain happy when our surrounding is not happy. We can not achieve bliss when our own hands, head and heart are not in rhythm.

 

Tips for synchronising 3H:

 

1) Meditate everyday for few minutes after you wake up and before you go to bed.

 

2) Let mind control senses rather than senses control mind.

 

3) Keep developing wisdom by reading & listening philosophies and spirituality.

 

4) Think before you act. Quality of your actions will improve.

 

5) Be action-less when you are emotionally upset.

Shall I Talk

Most of us are not very conscious about what we speak or what we do not speak. People fall between highly introvert to overly extrovert category. Reason may be genetic, upbringing etc. over a period slowly it becomes our habit and it becomes our nature. Generally it is observed that comparatively men talk less than women.

 

Psychotherapists says that communication happens at 3 levels. Cognitive is more related to exchange of information. Affective is exchange of emotions and conative is exchange of intentions. To be wise, one shall have more communication at cognitive and conative level at work and more communication at affective level at home.

 

My personal view is one must talk minimum required at work and maximum possible at home. At office talking more may lead to less productivity and unnecessary confusions where as talking less at home may lead to dryness in relationship.

 

5 Tips about Talking.

 

1) Be alert and conscious while talking. As far as possible, think before talking.

 

2) At work prepare well before talking. Quality of words matter more at work.

 

3) At work use less emotions in talk and use more intellect.

 

4) At home use more emotions in talk and less intellect.

 

5) Take full interest in talks at home though most of the matters may look very trivial and unimportant. One may be taking million dollars decision at work but at home participating in maid problem is equally important.

Develop Sensitivity for Others

It is wrong to say that people are insensitive. They are sensitive but they are sensitive towards self only. Selfishness and selflessness are two ends of one rope. The level of selfishness is determined by your level of materialistic needs. As your needs are high your selfishness will also be high and that will make you insensitive towards other people. As your needs reduces, it will increase level of satisfaction, peace of mind and selflessness. It will increase level of your sensitiveness towards others.

 

You will find that mostly in initial years of life when we have lot of unfulfilled desires, we remain self cantered and busy in fulfilling our needs and greeds. As we grow and our needs start satisfying and greeds start reducing, we turn towards spiritualism, we start looking beyond self, we start understanding pain of others, we start learning joy of giving.

 

There are few souls who in spite of living in poverty, have sensitivity towards suffering of others. It is only because they have very less desires. At the other end there are people living with abandon resources but still no sensitivity towards others, you will find that their greed level is still very high. So it is not poverty or richness that decides your sensitivity but it is your fear and greed that decides your level of selflessness, happiness and peace of mind.

 

It is not possible in present world not to develop desires, problem is when our desires are coupled with greeds. Greed will paralyse your intellect and will diminish power to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong. Greed will give strong logics to prove that nothing is wrong as long as you can satisfy him.

 

In nutshell desires leads to greed, greed leads to selfishness, selfishness reduces quality of intellect, that will not allow to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong and that will make you self centred and will make you insensitive towards others.

 

5 Tips to develop sensitivity towards others.

 

1) Keep the desires without greed.

 

2) Try to walk in the shoes of the others and see. The things from their perspective.

 

3) Treat people well specially who are lower than you in wealth, position and wisdom.

 

4) Develop empathy, good listening and understanding.

 

5) Do not react without giving proper thought to a situation.

Learn to Digest Poison

When the AMRUT MANTHAN (extraction of nectar) was done by all DEV (deity), poison also came up as byproduct. MAHADEV (Shiva) came forward and drank all poison and hold it in his throat so that universe can be saved from negative impact of poison. Whenever you will do good work, negative byproducts are inevitable. If you take juice from sugar cane, thrash has to be disposed properly. When we eat food, sewage need to be disposed scientifically. Take any work, good and bad outcome are like twins. Good work becomes great when we know how to treat bad outcome also.

 

In relationship also, when you help and support someone, some negative outcomes are obvious and one becomes great, when one has developed a tolerance for accepting negativeness with a selfless smile. It is easier said than done. But then it is not easier also to become MAHADEVA.

 

There are 3 kind of people. ASUR (Devils), Human and DEVA (Angels). Devils are always thinking about doing destruction or harming the people. Human thinks tit for tat. If someone has done good, I will recipocrate good or if someone done wrong with me I will revenge but Deva always thinks doing good for others without any expectation of appreciation or reward.

 

5 Steps to digest Poison

 

1) Generation of poison is natural outcome of anything worthwhile you do.

 

2) Accept the poison along with nectar with equal respect.

 

3) Find out the best way for disposal of poison so that negative consequences can be avoided.

 

4) People surrounding you, will take the nectar without any hesitation, rather grab it, and may abuse or criticise you for poison generated. Accept criticism gracefully.

 

5) Expect nothing, Accept everything is quality needed to become MAHADEVA.

3 Reasons to Fight

During January 2015, my nephew and niece, real bother and sister, visited our home to spend 2 days with us. I asked them do you fight and their instant answer was, a lot. I asked them why you fight and they did not had any specific reason for that. I don’t know about other countries but in India most of the siblings fight, for silly reasons and very frequently but at the same time they have very strong binding and deep attachment.

 

I tried to analyse why people fight and could categorised in 3 broad reasons.

 

1) We do not like some ones face or appearance. In other words our chemistry do not match or we radiate negative energy whenever we see each other. In this case there is no logical reason but psychologically we do not get along and most of the times interaction ended in big fight.

 

2) The second reason for fight is when words of someone not matching our expectations. As long as thoughts are thoughts, people may be at peace but once the thoughts get converted into words and those words are not matching to the views of others than discussion starts which may lead to argument and get ended up in fight.

 

3) Third reason is when someone’s actions are not acceptable to us. When those actions affect negatively to our self interest. First we try to prevent and oppose with our influence and when unsuccessful, fear crops up that other may win his intentions and we end up in big fight.

 

In most of the cases of close relation like husband- wife, parent- children, brother- sisters, close friends etc ties of relationship is so strong that fight does not end up in permanent breakup but when relationship is weak, it may result in to permanent separation.

Process to remove EGO

EGO

 

I will divide the ego in 2 categories. Real ego and false ego. Real ego is about ‘what you have’. False ego is about ‘what you do not have’ but you think that you have.

 

We shall not keep false ego and shall drop it as early as possible. Real ego is also an illusion but we need to keep that illusion as long as we are living SAMSARIK life. But we need to make real ego powerless by removing attachment with things, peoples and titles we have.

 

The process to remove attachment would be as follow.

 

1) Make the list of all real egos.

 

2) Take one at a time.

 

3) See and observe that ego as drashta.

 

4) Imagine that ego is destroyed and has no effect on you.

 

5) Make that ego powerless and tiny in front of you.

A2Z Secrets of Success

The definition of success is differ from individual to individual. Before giving you 26 secrets of success, I would like to define success according to my point of view.

 

Success is when you achieve your goal, target, aim or purpose.
Success is when you become most beautiful flower of your plant or most attractive fruit of your tree.
Success is when lot of people look at you with admiration and seek your guidance.
Success is when you are more useful for others than yourself.
Success is when you are touching sky but your feet are firm on the ground.
Success is when you are continuously walking towards your goal in-spite of obstacles or failures.
Success is when you have reached to your destination but already have set your eyes on next goal.
Success is when fruit of your achievement is useful for others.

 

Now I would like to reveal 26 secrets of success. These are arranged in A to Z sequence and not in a sequence of importance. These secrets are nectar of my last 26 years of reading around 500+ books and 1000s of articles. One person can not have all the following qualities however you will find most of these qualities in a successful person. It may so happen that you are not finding your favourite word in 26 headings but that is certainly represented directly or indirectly under one of the secrets. Such as PERSEVERANCE, it is synonym with determination. Still if you feel that I had left out important quality, please do write me.

 

Action Oriented:

 

Taking a birth in the wealthy or intellectual family is not success. It is your destiny and result of your past karma. Success depends on your present actions which will convert into results and create your destiny. Actions depends on decisions you take now and decisions depends on quality of your thinking and thinking depends on your day to day observations, learning and interactions with people.

Successful people are action oriented. It may so happen that their all actions do not result into desired outcome but they never stop. They may change their path but they will keep walking, keep doing, keep going ahead with a clear vision in mind.

 

Blessed with Luck:

 

Few of reader may not believe in luck but directly or indirectly we acknowledge importance of the same. Few people are born lucky and few are mostly fortunate to get their way wherever they go or whatever they do.

If presently luck is not favouring us it does not mean in future also it will not favour us. Whatever the positive actions we are taking today, result of those will come before us on future date as luck.

 

Communication Skills:

 

It is not necessary that if you lack good communication skills, you can not be successful. I have worked with few fine brains in industry but they were not having great oratory or communication skills.

Still having a good communication skills helps in climbing steps of success. They work like a icing on the cake. Many people acquire good communication skills after achieving a certain level of success.

 

Dedication and Determination:

 

The first step is to have clear dreams of what you wish or desire to achieve. Once the dreams are clear, decide action plan to achieve those dreams. When goal and strategy both are in place one need perseverance or dedication to walk on the path. Dedication is the one of the most desired single quality require to achieve any thing. If any body asks me what is the single most attribute require for success, I will select dedication or perseverance.

Dedication alone can not drive to success however coupled with determination and discipline, journey will become faster toward destiny.

 

Education & Learning:

 

Probably few decades back formal education was not must for success. In present world also there are examples of great success without completing formal education. However chances of success are better when one is equipped with better education.

Learning shall be life long endeavour. Knowledge is power. One need to be updated in his field. Technological and other advancements are continuous process so learning shall also be continuous process. Knowledgeable person will always have an edge to think clearly in complex situation, find solution of problems, decide the strategy and set the vision.

 

Focused Efforts:

 

You might have come across extraordinarily intelligent people but not getting success in life. If you deeply analyse, you will find that prime reason is lack of systematic focused efforts. They lack concentration. They do not follow monomaniacally a single focused goal. They will put their resources in various projects.

There are people who are capable of doing multitask and can handle several projects simultaneously however those are exceptions. If you dig 10ft at 10 places, you may not get water but if you dig 100 ft at one place chances are bright that you get water.

 

Goals Clarity:

 

When we step out of a house, our destination is in our mind. But most of us are living entire life without any purpose. It might not be possible to decide the ultimate goal however, it’s also not difficult to decide short term and medium term goals. Goals may be materialistic, emotional, intellectual or spiritual but life without goal is like balloon without air. Furthermore, people at work without goal might achieve something but their achievement will always be lower than their potential.

Professionals say that your goals must be SMART (Specific; Measurable; Attainable; Relevant; Time Bound). If goals are not SMART then they are not goals, they are basically wishes. Written goals have always better chances of getting fulfilled so always keep on writing and modifying goals periodically. When the END is defined, chances are very high that you will reach the END otherwise wherever you reach consider that is END.

 

Honesty Generates Trust:

 

Many may argue that in present days most of the successful people are not honest. But I am sure that dishonest person can not have happiness and peace of mind. Having a success, mostly financial one, without peace of mind is not meaningful.

Honesty in behaviour is key to create trust. If our thoughts, words and actions are not aligned, people will not trust us. Sustainable success is impossible without trustworthiness.

 

Invest Your Resources:

 

It is not possible to do YAGYA without giving AAHUTI. whatever you have, your knowledge, time, energy and money, you will have to invest to get some thing better out of it. A farmer will have to plough the field, sow the seed, water it etc. to get the crop.

If there is no input than there is no process than how can there be output? The main reason of failure is our input are less than required to get desired output.

 

Joyful:

 

t is not necessary that all successful people are joyful but I will consider all joyful people as successful. Success can not be measured with wealth, fame or power alone. If wealth, fame or power is not coupled with joy than that success has got no meaning.

Some may argue that once I get success, I will become happy but those people will never get happiness. Rather chances are great that happy people will get success sooner.

 

Kwality:

 

Whatever you think, whatever you talk, whatever you do, adds the flavor of quality and you will be delivering the extra ordinary performance. The existence of your business or profession depends on quality of product and services you are giving to your customer and client. Quality depends upon quality of input material, process and quality check for final output. Success is impossible if you are not quality conscious.

 

Leadership:

 

It is impossible to think of success in absence of leadership quality. Leader is the person who can get extraordinary result from ordinary people. A leader can inspire and motivate team to get peak performance. Many people get confused managerial skills with leadership traits. One can manage things but people to be lead. Mostly we do reverse. We start managing people and leading the things.

 

Move on:

 

In my opinion we must discourage every one to use word FAILURES. The word failure has been used so negatively in day-to-day life that it can’t do any thing better than to demean and demotivated someone. The failure is basically not getting success in that attempt, which can be better defined as experience. Thomas Edison did not get success 999 times before developing bulb, but he learned 999 ways how not a bulb can be made.

In work life, failing is actually accumulating experiences. The best example of learning from failure is Abraham Lincoln. When we will start calling failures as experiences, we will not get demotivated and never feel down. We will start again with new experience and new zeal. Instead of asking how and why you failed, ask how was your experience and what are your next plans. Failures are best lessons to learn and strong foundation stones on which a palace of success can be built.

 

Net Working:

 

A person with average talent but strong net work has better chance of getting new job, closing the deal and winning the project. People give more importance to attitude than ability. Over a period families are shrinking but friend circles are growing. Social networking sites are booming. Professionals are eager to join groups, association, clubs etc. major deals are getting closed either at the golf course or get togethers.

 

Organise Yourself:

 

Most of the successful people manage their time very efficiently. They strongly believe in delegating responsibilities down the line. They focus on creating efficient systems and processes. Mostly you will find their table and schedule less cluttered. Successful people are efficient as well as effective.

 

Positive Thinking & Attitude:

 

Positive thinking is the seed of positive attitude. Thousands of books are written on positive attitude but very few are focused on positive thinking. I wonder how one can have positive attitude without positive thinking. Positive thinking require lots of conscious efforts and continuous watch and refinement of thoughts.

Positive attitude helps in getting success as well as overcoming failures with greater speed. You will not find a single example of highly successful person with negative attitude.

 

Quick Decision Maker:

 

Success oriented people are very quick on their feet. They have amazing ability to see the end even before starting a first step. Since they can visualise the final destination and path instantaneously, they are very quick in making decisions. They have great intuition and do not need all the facts to take decision. I have seen many successful entrepreneurs who do not delegate effectively but they are quick in taking decisions. Their quick decision making trait compensate their weakness of non-delegation.

 

Risk Taking Ability:

 

Safe players can never be successful. They can walk but they can not run. Nothing greater have ever achieved without taking risk. It does not mean that they jump blindly in the well but they step out often with calculated risk. They will risk their all the resources once they are convinced about their ideas. According to them ship may be safe in harbour but ships are made to sail. Successful people do not enjoy routine life where there is no risk. They strongly believe in high risk high gain rule.

 

Smart working:

 

Doing things rightly is good but doing right things is more important. Working smartly requires creativity and innovativeness. It reduces fatigue and eliminate the wastage. Smart people gets more output in given resources. If a person can do hard work along with smart work than it is a feather in the cap.

 

Team Building:

 

The height of ego, I consider, when a person says I am self made and independent person. We are product of team work of 2 persons who are our parents. To achieve anything worth while we need hard-work and support of many people.

The successful people know this secret very well and build a team of employees, associates or partners who are mentally, emotionally and physically dedicated to his goals and purpose.

 

Understanding & Empathy:

 

EQ i.e. Emotional Quotient used for knowing level of emotional intelligence of a person. Successful people are sensitive enough to feel, understand and empathise emotional turmoils of self as well as others with whom they are dealing with. This quality help them in connecting other people and getting most out of them. One can not build palace of his success without using bricks of efforts of other people.

 

Vision and Direction:

 

The first step to be successful is having clear vision. Success is basically journey from present status to future destination. There is a difference between goal and vision. Vision is long term outlook whereas goal is short term target. Vision is final destination where as goal is intermediate milestones.

Spend more time in clarifying your vision and direction otherwise your ladder will be against wrong wall and your all efforts will be wasted. If you feel lack of ability in visualising your final destination, take the help of experts. Dedication, determination, decisions and actions are all useless if your vision is blurred.

 

Wealth Creation:

 

If we keep apart success in spiritual world, wealth and earnings are major criteria and barometer of success. Mostly it so happen that when our earnings are good, we ignore creation of wealth. We spend the money for wasteful things which has got depreciating value. One can not be so fortunate that in life never meets failure. Failures and bad times are inevitable. At such stage accumulated wealth can bail you out and again give you courage to take risk and get success. People are wise who create wealth for having sustainable success.

 

Xceed the Expectations:

 

When you work to get success, there are several stakeholders. Such as shareholders, customers, lenders, employees, society, government etc. Each stack holder has certain expectations. Successful people make it as a habit to exceed the expectation of all stack holders. That increase confidence and trust of all involved and efforts of involved create a momentum where it is impossible to fail.

 

Yes I Can:

 

Though courage is covered under risk taking but I would stress on having attitude of ‘Yes I Can’ and ‘Yes I Will’. Attitude matter more than skills. People have courage to take first step without much knowledge of future path, get success easily than people have lot of knowledge but do not have attitude of I CAN or I WILL.

 

Zealous:

 

Last but not least, passion to excel is major trait of successful people. Passion is their source of energy and enthusiasm. For their passion they can give long hours without feeling stress in body or mind. Their mind will be 24 hours occupied with their passion only. Flip side is that, they ignore all other aspect of life. But nothing great ever achieved without passion and passion for excellence.

Modes of Conversations

Language we use in communication, either verbal or written has lot of impact on relationship whether personal or professional. Language we use can be broadly divided in 12 categories from most desirable to most damaging. If we can think before speaking, we can use better type of language and can avoid lot of bitterness which is unnecessary.

 

Appreciating: Appreciation is a tonic for receiver and this create positive aura between giver and receiver. However it is important that appreciation should be honest.

 

Requesting- In this type of conversation we start with please and we end with thank you. Most of the people go out of way to fulfil request and our things can be get done without much of hassles. As a culture we use requesting tone with our elders and seniors but if we can use same tone with our juniors and younger, we will be always praised at our back.

 

Informing – many times we have to pass just a information with facts and figures than it is better to avoid any emotions and just convey.

 

Suggesting – this kind of language to be used when you want to express your point of view particularly to seniors and peers. It is always a safe way to express without hurting anyone’s sentiment and without pressing your point. This also gives an air of receptiveness on your part and will help in understanding point of view of others and enhance your knowledge.

 

Advising – mostly this kind of language is used with your clients, peers and some time juniors. This type of language should be used only when you are expert in your field and receiver is looking for your advise. We indians have a tendency to give advise even it is not asked for. Indian proverb says नमक ओर नसीहत बिना मांगे मत दीजिये ।

 

Assertive: When you are confident about your views, do not argue but be assertive. With children also we need to be assertive.

 

Ordering – mostly this type of language is used by seniors or elders with their juniors and younger. My suggestion is even if you are talking to junior, avoid this kind of tone and use suggestive or advising tone, impact will be much better.

 

Criticising: many times we have to criticise actions of our juniors and younger. Criticism should be like sandwich. Where first layer start with appreciation or positive note than your message criticising the behaviour or act but not the person and end again with positive note.

 

Sarcastic: few people have habit of being sarcastic on every thing. Such people never get respected except you are a cartoonist.

 

Argumentative: Discuss do not argue. This type of language should be totally avoided. This leads to next level, annoying and fighting. This is beginning of spoiling the relationship.

 

Abusing: a junior may not have a capability to reply your abusive language but surely he never carry good wishes for you so as far as possible avoid such language.

 

Fighting: this is last stage and often ends up in broken relationship. Wise people stop much before this stage.

How to select Social Responsibility Activity?

It has been a tradition and culture of India to spend part of income for socially deprived. Our parents, our teachers, our society has continuously taught us directly or indirectly to help the needy. In India we will find an example that person hardly able to meet his ends of basic needs still willing to share his half bread with fellow citizen. I brought up in family of parents and 4 children where my father was putting all his might and fight to cater basic needs of our family and my mother will always make few extra chapatis in evening so that she can feed to street animals such as dogs and cows who are 100% dependent on human being.

 

Fortunately and with the dedication of parents I got higher education and good job but lost in meeting materialistic needs. Higher purpose of giving back to society got neglected during youth years. But wisdom imparted by parents and teachers never die and my subconscious mind was always active to find a noble cause where I can make little difference.

 

For finding a noble cause I applied a logical thing which I want to share here however please note that I am giving here only the process of selection and not emphasising on selecting particular activity. Choice particular area is individual wisdom which vary from person to person. No cause is good, better or best. All causes are different. As long as you are giving some thing back to society whether your time, intellect or money, it will give you feeling of happiness. It is myth that when we give back we are helping others. In fact we are helping first ourself by doing our Dharma our duty our happiness.

 

One can apply following thought process in selecting social activity of his choice. Consider entire planet is living being which can be divided in 4 segments. Environment, Plants, animals and human being.

 

Environment: Our planet earth is made of 5 Tattvas (elements). Water, Air, Fire, Matter and space. If we do any thing to protect these 5 elements we are serving to our Mother Nature. It includes conserving and not polluting Air, water and soil. Industrialisation and urbanisation is becoming major cause of pollution in water, air and soil. Unless until we make rigorous efforts including government initiatives our future generation is going to curse for leaving inhabitable planet.  Few of the initiative includes waste management at homes, work place and industries. Encouraging cleanliness and hygiene. Not burning waste in open area. Treating sewage before disbursing in river or ocean. Treating gases before emitting in atmosphere. Treating industrial waste water before throwing on land or in water streams.

 

Plants: When we select plants for our social service we are doing direct service to nurture the nature. We can do plantation, save the extinct plants, stopping burning of jungles etc.

 

Animals:  Though most of the animals are interdependent on each other and nature helps them in survival but many of pet animals are companion of human race and dependent on human beings for survival. Mainly like dogs, cats, cows, goats, buffaloes etc.  Doing anything for protecting their survival, health care, feeding etc will be a great service to protecting life of these animals. Save tiger and PETA are good example of that.

 

Human Being:  let’s be being human. Though god has given intellect along with hands and legs to human being still millions of human being are less fortunate than us. ( If you are reading this article consider yourself to be fortunate). Their are millions who has a dream to have life as yours. It’s a vast area of social service so I have divided first in major categories (child, youth, old) and 4 sub categories ( Body, Mind (intellect), heart and soul).

 

Child: there are millions of parent less children or having vary poor parents who can not provide good quality of food, healthcare and education to their children. In country like India there is major bias ness towards girl child also. Educating parents about importance of girl child, providing proper food, healthcare and education to needy children are very good initiatives to make difference in upcoming society. There are thousands of NGOs working for this cause. If one can not do direct service one can chose right NGO to do his part.

 

Youth: In spite of easy availability of information, modern age youth is confused about his future. Probably it is excess availability of information is warranting him to chose right path. Guiding youth for better future is also a very good cause to work for. Youth is facing problem about higher education, selection of right job or venture, selection of right life partner etc. One can work as a torch to guide them right path.

 

Elders:  due to breaking of joint families, spreading of physical distances, breaking of marriages, present days elders are facing all sorts of problems right from food, health, love and safety. One can chose any area and make a difference.

 

With the above thought process personally I selected making difference in child life and started 2 initiatives. CAFE (Child Adoption For Education) where in so far we have provided school kit to 22000+ primary school going needy children.  In view of agony of HIV+ orphans we have established home in name of CARE ( child adoption for rehabilitation and education) presently where 17 children are getting lodging, boarding, medication and education.  We are now planning to launch FACE (Financial aid for complete education) where in bright children will be supported by noble patrons for their aspiration to complete education.

 

Friends my last advise is whatever the cause you chose according to your liking and passion, give some of your time and resources for needy and LIVE TO GIVE.

A2Z for Nagpur a global city by 2020

I have done thought research on what all is needed to make Nagpur a world class city and arranged in A to Z sequence.

 

1) Agriculture

 

Nagpur is known as Orange city of India but there is lot required to be done to increase the quality and quantity of orange production so that we get known as Orange City of World. Other than oranges there is a good scope for improvement of other corps such as cotton, soya etc.

 

2) BRTS & Metro

 

Bus Rapid Transportation system will reduce the congestion, accidents and faster speed for common men. METRO will be ultimate gift for Nagpur to have better transport system for masses and will reduce pollution and traffic on roads.

 

3) Convention Center, Exhibitions Conferences

 

Nagpur is centrally located and can be developed central city for exhibitions and conferences. For that world class convention centre with big exhibition place is required just like Pragati Medan in Delhi. This will also attract good hotels to come up in city.

 

4) Development plan

 

A detailed long term and comprehensive city development plan is needed for organised and sustainable development of city.

 

5) Energy Hub

 

Nagpur is surrounded by coal mines and in future gas pipeline running from west coast to east coast will pass near Nagpur. Nagpur can be developed as energy hub provided these plants are constructed with high level environment norms. Possibility of setting up of oil refinery may be explored in view of gas pipeline which can than cater to entire central India. Modern development is impossible if energy is not available onn cheap rate.

 

6) Flora and Fauna

 

Nagpur is number 1 green city of India and surrounded by several tiger reserve forests. Focused efforts are required to increase flora and fauna of the city so that we can maintain number 1 status for years to come.

 

7) Gorewada Zoo when developed will become one of the great attractions for tourists and for residents of central India.

 

8) Healthcare & NMC HOSPITALS

 

Nagpur have potential to become hub of health care and cater central india as well as nearby countries if international connectivity improves. There are lots of NMC hospitals and dispensaries which are presently in pathetic situation. PPP model can improve the effectiveness of these establishments.

 

9) Industries & IT sector

 

Due to its central location, agriculture crops, mineral availability Nagpur has good potential for becoming an industrial and IT base. With More than 40 engineering colleges in surrounding area skilled manpower can be available which is presently fleeing to Pune and Hyderabad.

 

10) Judiciary and police

 

Nagpur is fortunate to have High court bench but justice in time is missing. Though a peaceful city still lot of scope is available for improvement of governance and safety of the people.

 

11) Knowledge city & NMC schools

 

As I mentioned earlier Nagpur is having more than 40 engineering colleges and lots of other educational institutions. It can become knowledge city on the pattern of Dubai. Like NMC hospital NMC schools can also be made more efficient and effective with support of public private partnership (PPP).

 

12) Logistics, ICD, Warehousing & MIHAN

 

Central location of Nagpur and MIHAN in its pocket it can be developed as biggest logistic and warehousing hub of Central india. Nagpur is also having ICD which need to be promoted and make more efficient.

 

13) Minerals

 

Vidarbha is rich in minerals. Coal, Manganese, iron ore is available in ample quantity. Proper government policies can make prosper whole region and Nagpur particularly.

 

14) Nag River, Pili nadi & other water bodies

 

Presently nag river and Pili Nadi is in pathetic condition due to discharge of sewage and industrial and domestic effluent into it. Both the rivers can be made clean and beautified. Nagpur has few very good water bodies in the city and surrounding the city. These can be developed for water sport and touris places.

 

15) O-Mile

 

Nagpur is Zero mile of India and have potential to become tourist attraction point central point for trade and Industry.

 

16) Population and Slum control

 

Nagpur is heading towards becoming metro and cosmopolitan city. Which is giving rise to increase in population. Population increase is boon as well as doom if it is not managed properly. Nagpur has more than 400 slums and quality of life in surrounding is diminishing severely. There must be proper plan for slum improvement and inflow of people in the city.

 

17) Quality of Life

 

Pune and Bengaluru is example of deteriorating quality of life due to development of city. NMC & NIT need to be proactive and fast enough in providing infrastructure, cleanliness, greenery etc so that citizens of Nagpur do not curse the development.

 

18) Roads and Bridges

 

Growing city needs lots of bridges and roads for decongestion of traffic. Delhi is a example of that. In last few years Delhi has come up with hundreds of bridges and kilometers of roads which has bettered the life of people there. Nagpur should also be planned to build enough roads and several bridges.

 

19) Satellite towns

 

Due to its central location several national highways and state highways are passing through Nagpur. There are many small town such as Kamptee, Katol, Kalmeshwar, Bazargaon, Bela, Butibori etc can be developed as satellite town and connect with buses, metro etc so that pressure on central Nagpur can be reduced. That will help in developing trade and industry.

 

20) Tigers, Tourism & heritage buildings

 

Nagpur is declared as Tiger capital of India because many tiger corridors are in surrounding of Nagpur and Nagpur Airport is connecting point for animal life lovers. Nagpur has few heritage building which require upkeep and make it attractive for tourists. Nagpur has great potential for developing tourism destination of India.

 

21) Unemployment

 

Due to poor development of trade, tourism. IT and Industry unemployed youth population is increasing particularly who has no option but to live in Nagpur due to their parents. Salary level is also low due to gap in supply and demand.

 

22) VIdarbha State

 

Creating a separate state VIDARBHA is only answer for developing and growing Nagpur as capital city and not as second capital of Maharashtra. We have example like chhatisgarh, Jharkhand, uttarajhand, Uttaranchal and now Telangana which is developing past compared to Vidarbha. Nagpur has all the infrastructure readily available to become state capital.

 

23) Waste Management, pollution and Environment

 

The highest institution of India on environment is situated in Nagpur. This is a matter of pride for India. Nagpur is also one of the best managed city from garbage point of view. But still lot need to be done. Segregation of waste at the source, training of residents in waste disposal, waste to energy plants, enhancing capacity of STPs and new STPs is must to maintain environment friendly Nagpur.

 

24) Xpedite

 

Several plans mentioned above is already known to bureaucrats and politicians of Nagpur city but the need is to expedite the work before it becomes chaos city.

 

25) Youth development and Sports.

 

Youth of Nagpur is feeling that they are living in a big village. There are no much entertainment facilities or events are there in Nagpur and not much opportunities are available for Nagpur Youth to grow and develop. Cricket, football, hockey and other sports to be encouraged at school level and create and maintain facility for same.

 

26) Zeal of Politicians and Bureaucrats

 

Above Vision 2020 of Nagpur is not possible if our politicians and bureaucrats are not enthusiastic about making Nagpur a world class city.

9 Questions Before Action

1. What you want to do?

 

The first and foremost question is what You want to do. It can be from a next step to as complex as what is the purpose of your life. It is like setting vision, fixing targets, deciding goals etc. it may be planning vacation, preparing for exam, organising project.

 

2. Why You want to do?

 

Once it is thought of what You want to do than next question is why You want to do. What finally You will achieve by doing that.

 

3. What are benefit for You and others

 

This question is similar to above question but with more specific about what benefit You are going to get from above action. You may get money, a relationship, fame, power, happiness or bliss.

Whether your action will result into benefit to others apart from benefits you are going to get. Is your family member, friend, boss, coworker, subordinate, society or nation going to get benefit from this.

 

4. Will it be harmful to any one?

 

It may so that there is no benefit to others but make sure that it will not be harmful to others including nature.

 

5. Is there any better option?

6. What are B&W (best and worst) consequences

7. How can You do?

 

Once it is decided what and why the next question is how you are going to do that. What resources will be required to do that. What procedure and path to be followed to achieve. You alone can do or you will need help of others in completing task. Who are the right persons and whether they will be willing to help. What will motivate them to help in completing your task.

 

8. When You shall do?

 

It is important to have right timing for doing what you want to do. Some time wrong timings can miserably fail your action.

 

9. Where shall you do?

 

Along with timing, place is also important. Wrong choice of place can fail the entire project.

A2Z Qualities Jain’s Demonstrated Worldwide

26 Qualities from A2Z, Jains have Demonstrated in their KARM BHOOMI away from their JANM BHOOMI

 

As we all know, Jains had tendency to migrate out of their home town in search of purpose of their life. Today Jains are spread over globe and had earned wealth and fame with dignity. Jain is one of the most acceptable, admirable and respectable community. The reason for the same is, Jains collectively has demonstrated certain qualities which are appreciated by other religions and communities with respect. I have tried to cover it under 26 chapters arranged from A2Z. It is not exclusive list, but cover most of it.

 

A. Adaptability : Jains get mixed upon any geography, any environment, any community like sugar melts in milk and make it more tastier.

 

B. Business Leadership : Jains have demonstrated business leadership, whatever business they have adopted.

 

C. Character : Most of Jains have demonstrated strong character. Basic Jainism principles teach them honesty, truthfulness, non-violence etc.

 

D. Dedicated: Most of Jains migrated without much of resources with them. They had no option but to work dedicatedly and fight for survival.

 

E. Environment friendly: Jainism is the most environment friendly religion. It teaches to draw minimum from the nature for survival.

 

F. Focused: Jains are very focused on their purpose, particularly their business. If he has shop and if you knock him 12 in night, he will open and give service.

 

G. Goodwill: Most of the Jains initially did business of money lending where your reputation is prime. Jains protected and buildup their reputation with utmost attention.

 

H. Helping Others: Jains has demonstrated attitude of helping irrespective of caste and creed. I think act of giving is in blood of Jains.

 

I. Intelligent: Genetically Jains is an intelligent breed. They focused on giving good education to their children.

 

J. Judicious: Jain community has demonstrated Judicious attitude for all. Today highest position of Chief Justice of India is held by Shri Rajendra Lodha who is Oswal Jain from Jodhpur, Rajasthan.

 

K. Kind Hearted: Jainism acknowledges life even in plants. They get teaching of respecting even plant and animals. Which has helped them in developing an attitude of kindness towards all JIWA.

 

L. Low Profile: Few years back, by looking at Jain in Dhoti and simple Kurta, you will never be able to know the vastness of his wealth. They always maintained low profile and never believed in demonstrating and showing off their status.

 

M. Multiplicity of view points: One of the main principle of Jainism is Anekantavada. You might be aware of story of few blind people and an Elephant. Jainism teaches multiplicity of views. Which helps every Jain to develop respect for others views and increases adaptability and learning.

 

N. Non-violence: Main principle of Jainism is Ahimsa. On the strength of this tool Gandhiji could get us freedom from Britishers. Jains never get involved in any violence.

 

O. Optimist: By and large most of the Jains are not pessimist. They actually found not afford to. When you leave your Janm Bhoomi, you have no option but to be optimist about life.

 

P. Polite: Ahimsa, Satya, Bramcharya, Aparigrah, Anekantvad are such principles which every Jain learns in childhood. That makes him very polite to deal with other communities and other religion.

 

Q. Quick Learner: Jains are quick learner of new environment, new languages, new culture. I have met thousands of Rajasthani Jains in Maharashtra who speak marathi even in their homes. Jain student scores 100 out of 100 in other languages.

 

R. Respect For Others: Jainism never teach that other religions or communities are bad. Forget other communities or religion, Jainism teaches to respect of even an ant.

 

S. Social Service: All over world Jains participate with lots of enthusiasm in all type of social activities and social organisations. All international organisations such as Lions Club or Rotary International, are dominated by involvement of Jains.

 

T. Trust worthy: Jains ancient business was money lending. People of all caste and creed had lot of faith and trust in Jains honesty.

 

U. Understanding and Empathy: Jains are by far more emotionally intelligent. They develop empathy with whom so ever they meet. That helps in developing understanding at much higher level.

 

V. Visionary: Jains are very good in maths. Probably that has helped them to be more logical and becoming visionary in whatever field they have adopted.

 

W. Wiseness: Jainism is morte a path of Gyana than Karma or Bhakti. We call our tirthankar as Keval-Gyani. Stress is more on knowledge. Probably one of the most scientific religion is Jainism. That has helped inculcating wisdom in every Jain.

 

X.. Xplorer: Jains have been explorer. Their is a saying JAHA NA JAVE GAADI, VAHA PAHUCHE MARWADI. Where even any vehicle can not reach, a Jain can reach and open his shop and develop his business.

 

Y. Yes I Can : The question of survival has helped in developing attitude of YES I CAN which is vey necessary to be successful in life.

 

Z. Zealous: Jains are full of enthusiasm and energy towards life and their surroundings which help them in getting mixed up with any environment.

A2Z words for Successful LIFE

Following words are selected after lot of thinking & reflection of ideas. Words are not arranged in sequence of its importance but in the A-Z manner. Focus on following to make personal and professional life more meaningful.

 

• Action: All successful people THINK BIG & ACT QUICK. There are people who think a lot, make lot of plans, discuss, discuss and discuss but do not act. Nothing can be achieved without action. Action in the direction of your destination makes our destiny.

 

• Behavior: Good behavior can change anyone’s attitude and raise anyone’s altitude. Positive behavior brings happiness in life both personal and professional. Any situation can be turned in our favor if behavior is friendly. People are not difficult they are different.

 

• Character: Any act which is unlawful and unethical will bring negative consequences in life. Having control on senses and desires is necessary so that we do not indulge in situation which can destroy the peace and prosperity of the life.

 

• Detachment: We have control on our actions only. Consequences are beyond our control. Consequences are result of our action as well as several other outside forces which are beyond our control. So developing an attitude of detachment with results can give lot of courage and confidence to face any situation.

 

• Education: it’s not that all happy and prosperous people are educated but education helps us in taking right decisions. It increases our knowledge and wisdom. It’s not the formal education but right experiences teach us right lessons of life. Continuous learning shall be life long process.

 

• Friends: Not necessary that we have lot of friends but having couple of qualitative friends is enough to lead joyful life. In today’s world where families are shrinking, importance of friends have increased even more. Foundation of good friendship is trust and honesty in behavior.

 

• Goodwill: When we keep our commitments, it increases our reputation and strengthens our good will. In life we need lot of support and resources and people who have better goodwill can gather resources more easily compared to bad good will people.

 

• Health: You may earn lot of money, gather lot of power and achieve lot of fame but all will be meaningless if you are not healthy. Keeping yourself fit, physically as well as psychologically is must to enjoy fruits of life. Give everyday minimum 1 hour for maintaining your health and enjoy 23 hours of happiness.

 

• Intelligence: Every day we need to take 100s of decisions, some big and some small. Success in life depends on quality of those decisions. Intelligence helps us in taking right decisions. Our experiences in life help us in building better intelligence. So store good experiences and discard bad experiences so that we become better intelligent person.

 

• Joy: All work and no play will make life boring and dull. Enjoy the life. It is not necessary to have lot of resources to get joy in the life. A simple living and controlled desires can also give lot of happiness and joy in life. Enjoying what you have leads to happiness but ignoring what you have and running after what is not available leads to dis-satisfaction and sorrow in life.

 

• Karma theory: Karma theory states that action leads to reaction. Every effort leads to reward. Whatever we give to universe it comes back. Sow good, reap good. Whatever is happening now is the result of past karma and whatever you are doing now will create your destiny.

 

• Love: Loveless life is like balloon without air. Mostly we seek love in return of love but selfless love can take us to the level of bliss. Love what you do. Love your surroundings. Love people in your life. The first thing we experience in life is love of mother but as we grow old, selfishness starts dominating and love becomes commodity of trade.

 

• Money: Health is the biggest pleasure of life but lack of money is biggest pain of life. Knowing the art and science of earning money is most important to have prosperous life. Earning money is important but it is also equally important to create wealth and saving the money for leading balanced life comfortably.

 

• No: Doing what is necessary is as important as not doing what is un-necessary. Many people do not know how to say NO and end up in more failures than successes. We have limited time and resource so prioritizing is equally important. Saying NO may give little un-comfort in short term but will not bring bitterness for long term.

 

• Optimism: Optimist can find solution in any situation whereas pessimist will look for problems in any situation. Optimism can surface lot of options and opportunities and help in turning any adverse situation in our favor. Always keep hope alive.

 

• Patience: Patience is virtue, not many have. If you want to do something worthwhile, quality of keeping patience is must ingredient. Many people lose patience and quit, when they were about to find their gold mine. The difference between success and failure is stepping one extra step patiently.

 

• Quality: Having money, power and fame is useless if you are not leading qualitative life. Quality in each and every thing what you do. Wearing a nice shirt, keeping surroundings green and clean, eating right food or giving qualitative education to your children. One must be quality conscious in everything he does or he uses.

 

• Relations: Whether at home or at office, you are surrounded by people. Having trust based healthy relationship can weed out many problems from your life. Maintaining good relationship is like having health emotional bank account where one keeps depositing and withdraws very rarely.

 

• Spiritualism: Understanding the ultimate purpose of life and walking on the path of spirituality brings happiness and bliss in life. Giving back to society, helping needy, respecting the law of nature are few things which can connect your soul to higher being.

 

• Time Management: Our potential is immense but of no use if our time management is poor. Few people can achieve lot in limited time whereas others may be just wasting their time in trivial things. Time is the fixed and limited resource which cannot be expanded. Efficient and effective use of time is important for getting success in life.

 

• Understanding: Unclear communication, lack of transparency, faulty intentions leads to misunderstandings and creates more hurdles in life. Developing emotional intelligence can help in reaching to better understanding in relationships.

 

• Vision: The difference between a normal person and great leader is clarity of vision. Great leaders can imagine what is not even existed. They can see the entire jungle in a single seed. They are very clear what they want and what is their destination.

 

• Wisdom: Education can give information and knowledge and intelligence is helpful in taking decision but for taking right decision one need to be wise. An intelligent person is not necessarily wise also. For becoming wise we need to have emotional and spiritual intelligence also. Continuous reading, listening to gurus, observing and analyzing helps in increasing wisdom.

 

• Xplore: Exploration for animal is limited to finding food, safety and regeneration. However, human being has a need to explore and experiment continuously for knowledge and luxuries. A man is inquisitive. He wants to know more and more and wish to make his life more comfortable.

 

• Yes I Can: We have unlimited potential but are limited by our confidence, determination and dedication. Successful people enjoy doing the things which others have refused. The attitude of YES I CAN is necessary to achieve something worthwhile in life.

 

• Zeal: All the above is not possible if enthusiasm is missing. Enthusiasm ignites Enthusiasm. Failures and setbacks are inevitable but keeping the zeal ignited can move the mountains. You will find that positive people attract positive surroundings and negative people will always find a corner with negative energies.

Dedicate Your Prayers

I am born in a Jain family. Jainism is based on philosophy that your fate is nothing but result of past Karma (actions). Whatever you do today, will be your destiny which includes future births also. All the eastern philosophies are based on this principle. With that philosophy in mind, I never thought that prayers have any role in bringing happiness in our life or removing sorrow/pain from our life.

 

I would like to recall an incident when I got introduced to an elderly lady for some work purpose. We hardly met 2-3 times then. That time when I fell sick, somehow she came to know about it. Later I came to know that she actually walked 20 kms to a temple to pray for my wellness. Though I never had faith in prayers but I was touched by her gesture, selfless love and care for someone who is not even a close friend or relative.

 

After giving a much thought to the power of prayers, I realized that prayers are not powerful because somebody is sitting there, listening to your prayer and taking action for your well being. Instead, prayers help in increasing the faith in self and becoming psychologically as well as emotionally strong. And which in turn direct all universal forces to create situation/circumstances which are required to make prayers successful.

 

Most of us pray for greed of getting something or fear of losing something. The best thing which I learned few days back is – Everyday, one should dedicate a prayer for someone else, selflessly. I am not sure if that will help someone or not, but it will definitely give you the utmost pleasure of selflessness.

 

5 Tips for Dedicating Prayer for others:

 

1) Everyday think of someone who is in some pain.

 

2) Pray to your God for his/her well being.

 

3) If you do not believe in any God, pray to the nature/universe.

 

4) You may devise your own method of praying.

 

5) Try to be as selfless as possible in prayers.

 

पूजा ऐसी मत करो, भय व लोभ हो साथ।
परहित ही मन मे रहे, जोड़ प्रभु को हाथ H279

We Crave for Love

My few thoughts on love between 2 people of opposite sex irrespective of age.

 

1) Whether men or women, they crave for love.

 

2) Love is needed at 4 levels. Physical need psychological or emotional need intellectual and spiritual need.

 

3) It is not necessary that if one is comfortable with someone at physical level, he will be comfortable with him or her at emotional, intellectual or spiritual level too..

 

4) Those Couples are most fortunate who can be comfortable with each other at all levels and then they do not need anyone else in their life to fulfil their needs.

 

5) It is difficult to get love from one person at all the levels and all the time.

 

6) So mostly it so happens that one gets attracted to other person who he /she thinks is capable of understanding or sharing however the fear of rejection and fear of society is so overwhelming that mostly feelings dies without getting expressed.

 

7) It is not difficult to love someone with the same intensity through out his life if all your needs are fulfilled but its a continuous process “of maintaining your relationship ”

 

8) Love progresses either towards understanding and maturity at higher level where no expression is needed or goes downward where either they separate or live with indifferences.

 

9) Intense love is always coupled with fear of losing, possessiveness, jealousy, dominance etc which is mostly misunderstood and differences arises.

 

10) Most people can manage to love more than one person at same time and this is happening more in modern era where society is heading towards free environment and men and women are working together.

 

11) Environment, society, culture, tradition, geography, religion have big impact on regulating behaviour of human being towards expression of love .

 

12) Every person is different. His thoughts and actions are guided by his education, experience, sanskar, religion, society, genes etc. No one formula or rule fit to all. But yes most of us crave for love.

Maturity

Maturity is when you stop trying to change people, and instead focus on changing yourself.

 

Maturity is when you accept people for who they are.

 

Maturity is when you understand that everyone is right in their own perspective.

 

Maturity is when you learn to “let go”.

 

Maturity is when you are able to drop “expectations” from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.

 

Maturity is when you understand that whatever you do, you do for your own peace.

 

Maturity is when you focus on positives in people.

 

Maturity is when you do not seek approval from others.

 

Maturity is when you stop comparing yourself with others.

 

Maturity is when you are at peace with yourself.

 

Maturity is when you can differentiate between “need” and “want, and you can you can let go of your wants.

 

Maturity is when you stop attaching “happiness” to material things.

How to handle prosperity?

Most of us have a question at some point of time in our lives, whether prosperity is a matter of luck or a result of our efforts. Somebody has very nicely explained it. Prosperity is wealth/ success lying in bank locker. One of that locker’s key is with bank manager and one is with us. Unless and until both the keys are applied, it cannot be opened. To have prosperity you need to work continuously hard and smart. And then the result of our karma opens the lock of prosperity. Karma here may be of this life or past life.

 

In the last 35 years of my career, many times I have experienced that I did not get what I deserved because of my efforts and sometimes I was not doing any effort and got the promotion or profit in the deal. Prosperity is a relative term. For person like me who had to live in 12×12 room along with parents and 3 younger siblings and now living in 5 BHK house is a prosperity and person who born in 5 BHK house and now living in mansion is a prosperity.

 

The purpose of writing this blog is to share my thoughts about how to handle prosperity. In a book “The Geography of Bliss” by Eric Weiner, I read that people in Switzerland hide their prosperity like old Marwari people in India to avoid envy, Qatari people flaunt prosperity like Vijay Mallya or Mukesh Ambani in India, Icelandic people share prosperity like Goa/ Punjabi people who believe in party and enjoyment with family and friends. It is difficult to say which is the better way but having a balance in life is more important than extremes.

 

In childhood I read one story which I faintly remember now. When someone was asked about spending a rupee earned then he said, “25% I spend on self and family, 25% I save for future, 25% I spend on repaying my obligation towards parents and 25% I donate to needy to earn better luck in future lives.” The crux of the story is spending in a balanced way.

 

5 Tips to handle prosperity:

 

1) Have balance in life. Avoid extremes. Too much of flaunting, hiding, sharing etc. is not good.

 

2) Taking care of parents and fulfilling their wishes shall be the priority and giving best education to children and settling them in their career is an obligation.

 

3) Enjoying life with comfort and fulfilling own desires are also equally important.

 

4) Helping needy and giving back to society and nation is our moral responsibility.

 

5) In India we say LAXMI (Prosperity) is CHANCHALA (Temporary), so be prepared for all eventualities.
Live a balanced Life!

4 Stages of Acceptance in Relationships

Apart from our blood relations, lots of people come in our life at various stages. As friend, spouse, fellow worker, social groups etc. Some we accept, some we reject and to a few we are neutral. Our decision of accepting a person in our life can be analyzed at 4 stages. These stages are not dependent on each other. However they can be progressive in the sequence as mentioned below. We may accept a person at one stage and when he/she becomes indispensable in our life, we may accept him/her by compromising at other stages. The stages are as follows:

 

1) Physical Acceptance: Generally this is the first stage where we analyze and allow a person to enter in our life. It may be physical appearance, qualifications, resumes, his titles, possessions etc. By knowing from others or interacting 1-2 times we take a decision whether we can develop further relationship with that person or not. Many times it can be illusory and false impressions and later we regret.

 

2) Psychological Acceptance: This is mostly an emotional attachment we develop with a person. Person’s attitude, behavior and approach make a major impact. When we start accepting the person at this stage, physical appearance starts taking back seat. Qualities, emotional intelligence etc. becomes more important.

 

3) Intellectual Acceptance: Intellectual acceptance of person is when our intellect decides quality of person and accepts them to be of our use and we develop relation for mutual benefit. Mostly here we develop professional relationships. We want best doctor, advocate, driver, plumber, electrician etc. Here, we may not have any physical or psychological relationship with that person.

 

4) Spiritual Acceptance: Spiritual acceptance requires lot of maturity and in this acceptance one rises above positive and negative characteristics, above caste, creed, gender, color etc. and accept the person as it is without any judgment. Appearance and qualities of person becomes immaterial.

CHAlleNGE Brings CHANGE

If there is no challenge in life change will not come. Take for example life of street sweeper few years back in a small village. Day in and out he did the same job of sweeping the street and in return was happy to get some bread, leftover and old clothes on festivals. At that time, he never felt of any thing else. But slowly due to industrialization and urbanization new things arrived in the market and in common man’s life. His own desires family needs increased and this became a challenge in his life. There after he worked harder to improve the quality of his family life by imparting education to his children.

 

Whatever development, materialistic or spiritual we observe in life of people is due to challenges in life. If there is no challenge one will stop making efforts. There will be change; but it will be downward. To bring positive change we need to set challenges for our children. In work life we need to set challenges for our employees. Keep challenging yourself and you will witness change in your life too.

 

5 Tips to create and manage challenges of life:

 

1) Stretch your goals.

 

2) Create capabilities to meet challenges.

 

3) Plan effectively to meet challenge.

 

4) Be open for change in life.

 

5) Be prepared to face unexpected events.

Who is Krishna and Who is Arjun?

I wanted to read Geeta and whenever I picked it for reading, after few pages I used to get bored by boasting of Krishna who is saying again and again with pride that I am every thing. At that time used to consider Krishna as one of the human being but having qualities like God. Since birth I am Jain and Jainism do not believe that any God is sitting upstairs in form of human being and controlling every thing.

 

Then one day I asked my Guruji Shri Aditya Tripathi that what is the meaning of word Krishna and what is the meaning of word Arjun. He said the meaning of word Krishna is power which can attract (आकर्षण) any atom (अणु) living being or non living things, towards him. A centralised gravitational force (गुरुत्वाकर्षण शक्ति). As per my little bit knowledge about universe, I could understand that we are on earth because of gravitational force. Earth is rotating sun because of gravitational force. Sun is rotating Milky Way because of gravitational force and Milky Way is rotating in universe because of gravitational force. So Krishna is universe gravitational force because of which our existence is there. PURUSH and PRUKRITY (पुरुष व प्रकृति) is its creation.

 

Panditji told me that meaning of word Arjun is whose shot never misses his target (अचूक निशानेबाज़). We all are Arjun whether we are living being or non living being. Coal wants to become diamond. Water wants to flow towards sea. Fire wants to go towards sky. Tree wants to grow. Fruit and flower wants to take best shape, smell or taste as per their basic qualities. Every animal, every human being has purpose and they want to explore their full potential.

 

After knowing the meaning of Krishna and Arjun, reading geeta became more meaningful. Krishna is supreme and we all are part of Krishna.

 

Jai Shri Krishna and Happy Janmasthami.

Dissolve Your Self

There are 4 elements of ANTAHKARAN (internal system) as per Indian scriptures. These are MANN (mind/ consciousness), BUDDHI (intellect), AHAMKAAR (Ego) and AATMA (soul). Most of us have unanswered questions in our life, like – Who am I? or Why am I? I am not wise enough to answer these questions. However, my thoughts about AHAMKAAR (ego) are as follow. To understand the real meaning of word I rely more on Hindi language. Because in Hindi language, every word is made out of logic. AHAMKAAR is a combination of 2 words. AHAM means I or me and AAKAR means shape or size.

 

As we all know; soul has no shape, size or color. But as soon as soul enters into body, it starts taking shape. Shape may be in physical, psychological, emotional, social, professional, intellectual etc. forms. As soon as I came in this word I became human being. I got name from parents. I became Oswal by community and Jain by religion. As a professional I became CA and got titles at work and in society. These all are part of my identity. Like that all of us have different identity. In sense of spiritually; name, community, religion, education, position etc. belong to us but we are not limited to these titles and possessions. They create our shape, size, position, relationship etc. but the question- who am I? Still remains unresolved.

 

To find out our real identity we need to drop our attachment to all these titles. We need to dissolve so called SELF. Then probably we may know our real identity which may be shapeless, colorless, formless etc. or we may call it soul – a part of super soul (PARAMAATMA). If we dissolve all these selves then there is no difference between you and me or even a mosquito.

 

Living in this world, it may not be possible to dissolve our all selves but meditating on that may help us to become egoless or close to egoless.

Men may be intelligent but animals are wiser!!

Looking at the vast materialistic development man has done over the years; one may find humans more intelligent than animals. But in my opinion animals are wiser.

 

If I check on the following 5 universal principles of spirituality, almost all the animals pass the test:

 

1) Non Violence: Except for the fulfillment of food or safety needs, no animal harms any other creature. Whereas a man may harm others for fulfillment of his material or non-materialistic needs like pleasure and craziness.

 

2) Truthfulness: Animal does not lie, pretend, deceive or wear different masks. A man is expert in all these things.

 

3) Stealing: Animal does not steal because they do not accumulate. A man is expert in taking things without the permission of owner.

 

4) BRAHMACHARYA: This Hindi word is poorly defined in English as Celibacy. BRAHMA means Universe CHARYA means behavior. So, in my opinion BRAHMACHARYA means behaving in tune with universe. Except few great men like Buddha, Mahavira, Mohammada, Christ etc. Not all humans conduct themselves in tune with the universe. The animals are most environment friendly where as humans are most dangerous creature for nature.

 

5) Non-possession: Humans are possessive of everything. They want to accumulate for 7 generations and beyond. They are possessive even in relationship. Whereas animal is completely non-possessive of things as well as relations.

 

In fact, an animal is more humane/ kind or more appropriately lives up to the principles of universe than a human belonging to various religions and following that particular religion’s philosophy. I.e. an animal is more Jain than Jains, more Buddhist than Buddhists, more Christ than Christians, more Hindu than Hindus and more Islamic than Muslims.

 

Animals do not have attachment, greed, jealousy, anger or any kind of negative feeling which human is struggling to shade off. They know very well where they need to live, what they need to eat, how to carry on generation and how to treat self when fallen sick. If I talk about the talent then they know so many skills far better than human beings like flying, swimming, running, hearing and living in tune of nature. Human try to copy the skill and talent of animal but an animal never try to compete with human.

 

Likewise, there can be lot of other arguments in favor of animals about how they are wiser than human beings.

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratitude is defined as:
• the quality of being thankful
• readiness to show appreciation for
• to return kindness

 

Many people say, “I am self made person”. To me, it is the highest degree of ego. We are product of our parents, intellect of our teachers, emotions of our relatives, personality of our friends, purpose of our efforts, part of our society and rhythms of universe. Though we are product of our thoughts, words and actions but in the entire system we are puppet of 1000s of known and unknown forces. Without the help, support and wishes of people around us, we are nothing. We take things and people for granted and do not express our gratitude for all the good things we got in our life or all the bad things we avoided in our life.

 

Every religion and philosophy has system of expressing gratitude and thanks once in a year but we follow more that as a formality rather than sincere expression. Moreover thanks giving should not be once a year ritual rather it should be every moment practice. We must start our day with a prayer for expressing thanks to the entire universe and before sleep we must express our regret for known or unknown mistakes.

 

5 Tips for Attitude of Gratitude:

 

1) Be quick in expressing your gratitude in whatever words or actions you can think of.

 

2) Start your day with prayer of gratitude and end the day with prayer of forgiving.

 

3) Be sincere is expressing gratitude or expressing regret.

 

4) Be polite particularly with people who are working for you, younger than you and respect you for your authority, age and seniority.

 

5) Use all sorts of communication for expression of gratitude such as words, messages, cards, letters, emails etc.

 

तज्ञता की भावना, हरपल रखिये ध्यान।
धन्यवाद करते रहे, बढ़ता है सम्मान H293

Awaken Your Mind

Eyes are useless when our mind is blind. Mind is blind when a son cannot read disappointment in eyes of parents. Mind is blind when a husband cannot read the heart of wife or vice versa. Mind is blind when a boss cannot read expectations of a subordinate. Mind is blind when teacher cannot read mind of a student. Mind is blind when a friend cannot read body language of another friend. You may be extra ordinary intelligent but your mind is blind when you are emotionally dumb.

 

To differentiate between IQ and EQ read my another blog at-

IQ vs EQ

 

Most of the problems in our life are because neither have we understood our own feelings nor we understand and care for feeling of others. We become so overwhelmed by our own desires and greed that we just cannot see what others are going through. We never try to step into the shoes of others and see from their point of view. Everyone has their own world, thoughts and circumstances. Everyone see the things from their own point of view but great people are those who can peep into the mind, heart and thoughts of others and act accordingly. For that, one need to be alert and conscious all the time while interacting with others.

 

5 Tips to awaken your emotional intelligence:

 

1) Whenever you are not alone, be alert and conscious and give full attention to your surroundings.

 

2) Try to read and listen unspoken words and unexpressed thoughts. It requires practice but it’s not difficult.

 

3) In case you are doubtful about your assessment, simply ask others and clarify your thoughts.

 

4) If it is not inconvenient or harmful to your personal interest, try to act according to others wishes. You will be able to develop fruitful and long lasting relationship.

 

5) Be genuine in your attitude and behavior. If you are honest in your behavior, people do not mind forgiving your blindness of mind.

8 H for Holistic Happy Life

Second best purpose for human being is to Live a Happy Life. First being attainment of Moksha (for most of the Indians). If one can live happy 24×7 then it is no less than having Swarga (Heaven) like feelings on the earth. To remain all the time happy is a psychological need of humans but in today’s materialistic world one need to have a holistic development of all the pillars of life. If one of the following 8 pillars is not strongly build, one remains unhappy. But the problem is in building these pillars we remain unhappy and dissatisfied in anticipation that once these targets are achieved, we will be happy. One needs to remain happy during journey as well as reaching the final destination.

 

A Butterfly Lives Only 14 Days. But Still It Flies Joyfully Capturing Many Hearts.
Each Moment In Life Is Precious.
Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means we have decided to look beyond perfection.
Do not be happy just for a reason because happiness ends with that reason. Always be happy without any reason & you will be happy forever.
Happiness is not a destination, not a state to arrive at but a manner of traveling.

 

Health First:

 

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Indian scripture says PAHLA SUKH NIROGI KAYA means first pleasure in life is good health. You cannot enjoy wealth, power and fame if your health is poor. If one can invest 1 hour everyday then chances are that he/she can enjoy other pleasure of life in the remaining 23 hours. Exercise, yoga, walk, tennis, swimming, gym or whatever your passion can keep your body fit, pursue every day without fail. Problem with most of us is lack dedication, determination and discipline. On every 1st Jan we resolve that we will focus on the health and at the most by 15th January we start neglecting again. An unhealthy body can never enjoy happiness.

 

Happy Relationships:

 

Before money but after health the 2nd most important thing for achieving everlasting happiness is having trust based relationship. One cannot enjoy the money, fame or power if the relationship with near and dear ones is bitter. Relationship whether at home or work or in society need to be nourishing one. Good relationship is not possible if there is lack of trust and trust is not possible if you are not honest in your behavior. One can easily forget his work problems once he enters in his bedroom but sour relationship do not allow having sound sleep.
Do not let your heart be a dust bin to dump all worries and sadness but let it be a treasure box to preserve happiness.
Don’t make criticizing others as source of your happiness.
If We Cannot Be A PENCIL To Write Anyone’s HAPPINESS, We Should TRY At Least To Be A NICE RUBBER To ERASE Someone’s SORROWS.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

 

Hard Work:

 

Purposeless life is like balloon without air. Purpose gives us passion. The purpose keeps us busy. The purpose motivates us to work. Having only purpose is not enough. One needs to work hard and smart for achieving the purpose. Many people say we must do smart work and not the hard work. I agree that we must work smartly but at the same time if we work hard the results will be faster. Smartness will give effectiveness but hard work can give efficiency. To be successful at work we need both. Effectiveness as well as efficiency. Success and happiness goes hand in hand. Working hard and smart with happiness is key to success.
Doing what you like is freedom, Liking what you do is happiness.
Happiness comes when you believe in what you are doing, know what you are doing and love what you are doing.
Happiness is by-product of Action.

 

Honest Money:

 

In today’s world even yogi like Ramdeo or guru like Sri Sri Ravishankar need money to travel around world or do the good for society. For a normal human being money is like blood in body. One simply cannot survive without money in this materialistic world. One must keep on earning if one can do with honesty and happiness. Money is needed for all the good things to be done in this world. However, important is earning that money honestly. Otherwise one will have money but no peace and no happiness.

A Poor Man Can Be Happy, But A Happy Man Can Never Be Poor.
If you want to feel rich just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

 

Helping Power:

 

It is not necessary to have power to rule the people, corporate, state or nation. But if you are close to the people who have power or who can influence your surroundings, it will be of great help. In life of a general person power is not needed to become a good person but power is needed to get safety from bad people. In case you have earned any kind of power then use it for helping the needy. Make sure that even if you get power you do not lose your happiness at any cost.

Even the most powerful man is weaker in front of the happiest person in the world.
Power has never given peace and when you are at peace no power is required.

 

Heroic Fame:

 

In a modern era one wants to achieve success in order to get fame. Many people may not be after power or money but they want to be famous in their field. Getting the fame is not difficult if you try to do best in your field. Doing wrong things for getting popularity cannot give happiness.

 

Higher Wisdom:

 

Having extraordinary intelligence does not guarantee higher wisdom. Intelligence just knows what is a right thing to do. Wisdom is actually doing right things. Higher wisdom is possible through continuous learning. Continuous refinement of thoughts leads to higher wisdom. The quality of decisions and actions of men cannot be better than quality of their wisdom.

Happiness stays with them who keep zero distance between thoughts and expressions.
It is not what happens to us in life that determines our happiness so much as the way we react to what happens.
Most people remember compliments for a few minutes and insults for years. They become garbage collectors.

 

Holy Spirituality:

 

Leading the life in tune of the nature is the highest level of spirituality. Spirituality is understanding the vastness of this universe and connecting the self with higher being. Spirituality is dropping the own self and regarding the self of others.

Happiness is a perfume you CANNOT pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely upon what you think.

Who Brought You Here, Can’t Take You There

While giving title to my blog, I recalled Marshall Goldsmith’s book titled “what got you here won’t get you there”. In business and profession most of the time it so happens that one person is so efficient and effective at one point of time that he takes the organization to new height. But at some point he reaches to a “level of incompetence” as doctrine by management guru Peter Drucker and organization gets stuck with that person. The problem is more severe when that person is either owner or so senior in hierarchy that removing him just becomes impossible. But most of the time it has been seen that it is bad for that person as well as for the organization. I have worked in an organization where the top executive was seen as most indispensable and most of the outsiders misunderstood him to be owner rather than executive. When shareholders finally decided to part away, that organization grew multifold as well that person became successful Entrepreneur.

 

One needs to understand that parents can handhold a kid but he/she needs school teachers to pass away primary education and a professor to get the university degree. It’s the rule of nature that you need different people and circumstances at different level. The person who brought you to the base camp can’t take you the peak of Everest. It does not mean that importance of that person is vanished. It only means that now you need a different person to take you to the next level. If my primary school teacher would not have taught me ABCD then how I would have written this blog. The importance and respect for that teacher will always remain but to get further knowledge and wisdom I needed different people in my life.

 

5 Tips to deal with people who are becoming bottleneck in your progress.

 

1) If your organization is not growing with fast speed or it has got stagnant or slow down, identify whether it is due to complacency of the people or some outside forces.

 

2) If it is due to person then either gracefully retire that person or sideline with specific responsibilities and authorities.

 

3) Hire a consultant and take un-biased view for reason of stagnancy or sliding down.

 

4) Try to invest in raising the competency of that person. Sometimes proper training and exposure can raise his bar and may be useful for organization.

 

5) Do not mix the emotions and profession, time has come to move forward with different people and disruptive strategy. Or you will lose both in future, business as well as person. Mind it well that the person or circumstances that brought you here, cannot take you there!

Create Your World

Small or big, every living creature has its own world where it lives with its pleasures and pains. Plants and animals create their world for satisfying the need of hunger, safety and reproduction. Their ability to create the world is limited. Human beings have potential to enlarge their world to a greater extent. A celebrity or politician may have much larger world as compared to a beggar. We do not have any control on our own creation but we have full control on expanding our world. The problem is that most of us take the given life as granted. Very few people realize their potential and take efforts to continuously expand their world.

 

If we do not take charge of our own world then we will have to live with the world given by others or live in the world of others. In that case we may not have any control on the environment. It may be full of pleasure and happiness or pain and agony. As a human being our initial years are spent under protection and guidance of parents, teachers, family and friends. But as we grow, we need to learn how to expand our world so that it is filled with happiness and success.

 

5 Steps for creating your world:

 

1) Find out your Purpose: The question “why am I” is more important than “Who am I”. It may not be possible to know the ultimate purpose of our life but what you want to achieve in short term to medium term can be easily established. By the way, the second best purpose is HAPPINESS. First may be attaining enlightenment or MOKSHA.

 

2) Make the Strategy: Once the goal is established, explore and select one best strategy to achieve that purpose. Like for achieving your financial goal, you may consider between Entrepreneurship and Employment.

 

3) Select the People: Few people will bring joy in your life and few may bring agony. Few people will help you in achieving your purpose, few may become obstacle. You need to find out. It may not be easy to bring in people in your life or throw them out from your life but once you know the difference, you may try to get surrounded by people who really bring happiness and success in your life.

 

4) Help Others to Expand their World: While creating your world do not forget that you are the part of bigger world and your world is entangled with the people surrounding you. Your world can not be in isolation. The best way to have expanded happy world around you is by helping other people expand their world.

 

5) It’s a Continuous Process: Creating your happy world is not a onetime task. It’s a continuous process. It lasts till you live. If you stop expanding your happiness and others happiness then you are no less than dead wood. Pains, obstacles, problems, road blocks will keep coming in the form of people or circumstances. Some will be under your control and solvable but most may be out of your control and not-solvable. You have only 2 options. Isolate yourself or accept as destiny.

Success Is Converting Thoughts Into Action

If someone asks me the one reason for success of world class leaders, I will say that they quickly convert their thoughts into action. Most of us waste time on thinking, thinking and thinking. Taking action require guts, confidence and courage. It is not necessary that all actions will result into success but every success is the result of actions. Big success requires big actions, small steps covers shorter distance. All of us see the opportunities related to our dreams and desires but few of us act with determination and dedication.

 

Only action is not important but wise and quick action is important. Many of us take wise action but delayed one or take quick action but not wise. Wise action can be defined as the action which is beneficial to the most of parties. Wise person is one who can be right in most of the situation, to the maximum of people and at most of the time. The quality of your decision and action cannot be better than quality of your wisdom. Wisdom evolves with the experience and learning.

 

5 Tips to convert thoughts into actions:

 

1) Be clear about your vision, long term and short term goals. Thoughts and ideas will occur surrounding your goals.

 

2) Keep your pocket diary or notes in mobile handy for writing thoughts and ideas as they occur. We have tendency to forget.

 

3) Evaluate thoughts and ideas for action. Pros and cons. Positive and negative effect on all concern.

 

4) Take quick action for implementation.

 

5) Review the impact of your action and modify your strategy if needed.

 

सूत्र सफलता का यही,जग में जाना जाय।
अपने सोच विचार ये, कर्मों में ढ़ल पाय।।दोहा अविनाश जी द्वारा

 

 

 

Scripture Script Path

The scriptures, holy inscriptions of religion or philosophy, are expressions of enlightened people. But the scripture don’t necessarily express the real feelings of those enlightened people. Like it is not possible to exactly describe the smell of sandal wood, the sound of Om, appearance of Kohinoor diamond, taste of Amrut or feel of clouds. One has to experience it. Enlightened people experienced the spirituality, the soul, the God, the nature, the energy or whatever the name you call it. To express one takes the help of words and words do not have power to express 100% what you feel. The other problem with words, sentences, paragraphs and book is that everyone finds different meaning. Even one person reading same thing at different point of time or in different situation, finds different meaning.

 

In my opinion scriptures work like a lamp. They show you the path but one has to walk himself and find the meaning of life and eventually feel the god. Scriptures work like a path. One has to walk to reach the destination. Scriptures are not god. Scriptures give food for thought to reach the god. Our planet earth is no more than a sand particle in this universe. All the enlightened souls whose scripture we read are born on this planet. We have not been able to explore our own solar system which is also like a sand particle in the universe. There may be planets which are more advance than us. Their knowledge and wisdom may be much more that what we have.

 

5 tips to read scriptures:

 

1) Read scriptures of all the religions with open mind.

 

2) Scriptures are lamps. One need to walk himself for enlightenment.

 

3) No scripture can be final word on wisdom of entire universe.

 

4) The written wisdom is no more than a sand particle on a sea beach.

 

5) Respect the scripture and keep enhancing your wisdom.

Be Performance Biased

Even though performance is relative, but in my opinion performance is a combination of RESULTS and RELATIONSHIPS at work place. Few employees are good at giving results and few are good at maintaining relationship but outstanding employees are best at both. Measuring the results is easy but measuring the relationship is subjective.

 

When you have to choose between results and relationship then you have no option but to give weightage to results. If an employee maintains very good relationship with all but not delivering the result then he is of no use. The problem is when an employee is giving very good results but his relationship with his colleagues is bad. You will keep on getting the complaints from other employees but then you have no option but to keep rewarding for his performance. People may feel that it biasedness but I call it “Biasedness for Performance”

 

5 Tips to handle efficient but unpopular staff:

 

1) While reviewing the performance of such employees, keep reminding them that they need to improve their behaviour.

 

2) Frequently send them for training in soft skills.

 

3) Encourage them to read books on leadership and management.

 

4) Penalise them for bad behaviour, but with caution. One cannot afford to lose such resource.

 

5) Reward them for team work.

Happiness Bank Account

Does your HBA (Happiness Bank Account) have enough balance to keep you happy for the rest of the day? If you have smile on your face as soon as you wake up and at the end of the day when you retire for your dreams then you have deposited enough happiness in the account during the day. If you ask yourself what ultimately you want and if you keep on asking by thinking deeper and deeper then you will find that happiness is ultimate goal (for most of us).

 

But we have to analyze whether our thoughts, words and actions during the day are leading to increase the HBA.

 

Greed, jealousy, anger, all these negative emotions keep on eating our happiness like termite which spoil our mood, our performance, our relationship, our prosperity and for that matter even our destiny. As a human being all these negative emotions are inevitable but the beauty is that if we control and manage those emotions effectively then the impact will be minimum and our balance in HBA will remain intact if not increase.

 

5 tips to increase balance in HBA:

 

1) While waking up and before opening eyes, plan how you will keep yourself happy today. And before going to sleep, review the day. Analyze what were the factors that pulled down your happiness.

 

2) Make a list of your strained relationship and one by one make efforts to improve those. People are more responsible your unhappiness rather than things.

 

3) Few people you will find in life, who are very negative and when you come in their contact, they pull down your enthusiasm or bring negativity in your life. Either avoid them and if not possible to avoid ignore them and even if it is not possible to ignore then you have no option but to keep them happy as much as possible. It is not easy but you have no option.

 

4) Think before you speak or act. Particularly when you are upset. It is better to leave the place and people when you are not in good mood. It will aggravate the situation and pull down your HBA.

 

5) Do some act everyday which are selfless. Appreciate, give, help etc. This will increase your balance of HBA, manifold.

Handle With Care

Many times we buy expensive show pieces or items which needs handling with care. We take full care of those items by instructing our domestic servants and our children to care of those things with extra care. When we check in glass items at airport we insist airport staff to handle such fragile items with extra care.

 

Same way few people and relationships are fragile in our life. But do we take extra care? We mostly fail to handle those people with extra care though otherwise they are very sweet, caring, supporting and loving in our life. I have 2 children. One son and one daughter. Whenever they ask me question to whom I love the most? I always reply diplomatically. I say that son I love you more intelligently and daughter I love you more emotionally. Once by mistake I said that, “son I love you more than your sister” and my daughter came to know about it. She did not speak to me for more than 3 months and still she feels sad some time and taunts me.

 

Nature has wired women to be relationship oriented and sensitive where as men more target oriented and problem solver. Any relationship with women as mother, sister, girlfriend, wife or friend needs to be handled as you handle your most expensive and fragile thing. Rather more than that. Women need more love and care and men needs more understanding. Whereas men spend his more time in understanding the women rather than love and care and women spend more time in loving and caring rather than understanding.

 

5 tips to handle relationship:

 

1) Give more love and care to women rather than understanding her. And try to understand men rather than showing your emotions. It’s the most difficult task because we are wired opposite.

 

2) Drop your ego in relationship and not saying sorry shall not be at the cost of relationship.

 

3) Whenever differences created, a men needs some space and time where as women needs immediate love and care. Whereas we do opposite.

 

4) Money, fame and power are meaningless if your relationships are strained. Save important relationship at any cost

 

5) Happiness should be the ultimate goal.

Role & Goal Clarity

Shri Ashit Sinha, an HR guru, always say that keep clarity of role and goal in the organization. Role and goal clarity improves the performance, efficiency as well as effectiveness. In most of the Indian organizations, particularly in the family run businesses, the role and goal clarity is either missing or present in abstract form. Consequently employees are clueless about their accountability, authority and lines of hierarchy. On the top of it, if systems are not robust, entire organization runs in chaos. Blame game, abdicating responsibility etc. becomes very common. This can be controlled as long as organization is small but as it grows, inefficiency grows along after a certain point organization starts collapsing.

 

In such organizations many times HR head is hired but without much of freedom and authority. The paralyzed culture doesn’t allow professionals to work efficiently and effectively. Mediocre employees stay and smart performers flees.

 

5 step process for role and goal clarity:

 

1) Vision, mission, values and strategy shall be finalized at top level in consultation with senior management.

 

2) Proper organization structure shall be created with clear authority and accountability. One employee, one boss and span of control shall be taken into account. Organization structure shall not be made as per availability of people rather it should be created as per need of organization keeping long term vision in mind.

 

3) Job profile shall be created from top to bottom and KRAs (Key result areas) shall be decided for each position.

 

4) Periodical review system shall be in place depending on criticality of position. Most of the organizations finalize the goals of employees but they fail to review.

 

5) Proper training program across the organization shall be introduced so that people can grow their skills and attitude as the organization grows.

Are you Spiritual?

Mostly it happens that once a person is free from his worldly responsibilities, he/she turns to spirituality. Now a day more people hesitate in saying that I am religious but they say with pride that I am spiritual. Definition of spirituality as per Wikipedia is as follows:

 

“Matters of the spirit” may include the meaning in a person’s life (or in all life), and how to find and improve on it. They may also include someone’s search for God, the supernatural, a divine influence in their lives, or information about the afterlife, and how to best deal with each.”

 

After lot of thought process, I am listing 12 characteristics of a person who has started walking on the path of spirituality.

 

1) Tolerance is Increasing: A spiritual person believes that soul of an ant is no different than his own soul. The walls of religion, region, caste, color start vanishing. The whole world and universe becomes one hence tolerance for people increases.

 

2) Smile is Solidifying: A spiritual person wears a permanent smile on his face. That is sign of inner peace and happiness. Smile works as magnet for them.

 

3) Empathy is Improving: Empathy is standing in the shoes of other person and looking from his point of view. A spiritual person listens and understands other person and situation more from emotional intelligence rather than only through brain.

 

4) Wisdom is Enhancing: A spiritual person knows that better wisdom leads to better decision, better action and better outcome. He keeps on studying and learning so that his wisdom keeps enhancing.

 

5) Expectations are Reducing: A spiritual person starts understanding limitations of people. Different people have different limitations such as physical, intellectual, financial, emotional etc. So they either eliminate or reduce their unrealistic expectations.

 

6) Acceptance is More: As expectation reduces, acceptance of person increases. They understand that people are different and not difficult.

 

7) Loving without Conditions: A spiritual person may not love all unconditionally but he hates none. He walks continuously on the scale from hate to love.

 

8) Equanimity is Enhancing: The ultimate stage for a spiritual person is equanimity. Pain doesn’t feel like pain and pleasure don’t give much of the joy to a spiritual person. He knows very clearly that pain and pleasures are impermanent. The bliss is permanent. They work for achieving the ultimate bliss.

 

9) Ego is Vanishing: A person on spiritual path understand that he need to drop the ego completely. Which is not so easy while living in materialistic world but he continuously keep making efforts to drop ego.

 

10) Desires are Eliminating: Desires are the main cause of unhappiness. Spiritual people either satisfy the desires and eliminate them or eliminate it by meditation. Zero desire is not possible but he develops contentment in whatever he has. His craving reduces or gets eliminated.

 

11) Fear is Evaporating: Zero Desire and Nil Ego leads to fearless situation. Fear is mainly due to two reasons.

 

12) Helping others Selflessly: A spiritual person empathize very easily with the needy and he tends to help Selflessly.

Drive Your Mind

Most of the time we are worried whether our employee is working productively or wasting time but we are unaware that how in-efficiently and in-effectively our own mind is working. If your mind is inefficient and/or ineffective how can be your performance be the best. Our destiny precedes our actions. Our action precedes our thoughts. Our thoughts are regulated by our feelings, past experiences and leanings. Very few of us at very few of occasions can regulate our mind. Our mind is horse without rein. In Hindi we say, “बिना लगाम का घोड़ा” If you want to achieve your dreams, desires, goals, purpose, you need to regulate your mind and thoughts.

 

For regulating the thoughts we need to be conscious of each and every thought is coming into mind and how it is getting processed. Whether we are thinking about the past, present or future, important is to remain alert and conscious of all the thoughts. Practically it is not possible to have 100% consciousness about the thoughts but if we can remain even 10% conscious, the results will be wonderful.

 

5 Tips to regulate Mind and thoughts:

 

1) Decide the subject on which you want to regulate your thinking. Unless the target of thinking is not there, mind cannot be regulated.

 

2) Mind will keep on wandering. One needs to continuously stop and think what he is thinking.

 

3) Early morning time is most productive for critical matters. You need to sit alone with the targeted matter and think all aspect. Personally I prefer to do on morning walk.

 

4) Before sleep give some home work to subconscious mind. Think of some critical problem and sleep. Mostly you will find innovative solution as soon as you wake up.

 

5) Focus on present moment, present task in hand, ongoing meeting, conversation with someone. Mind will keep wandering. Bring back mind in present moment. If you are eating, focus on food and chewing, you will enjoy food much more and it will be chewed better.

 

Doha by Avinash Ji Bagde

 

बेलगाम घोडा रहे,अपना सदा दिमाग।
काबू में करता उसे, बस वैचारिक जाग।।

3 Regrets of my life

Though I am not a person who regret about any thing but if I have chance to relive my life, I would not make 3 mistakes so that to make my life more meaningful. If I revisit my life, I find that I am most lucky and happy person who got every thing, one normal person can deserve. I have observed that present generation is also not focusing on following 3 aspects of life and which can convert into regrets in later life.

 

1) Focus on health: when we are young we become so engrossed in earning money and fame that we completely neglect our health. It’s not that people who are conscious about health live longer but 80% chances is that they live healthier. If we can give only one hour everyday on our physical and mental health, our balance 23 hours will be more fruitful. I got diabetes because of work pressure and now no amount of work out can eliminate my diabetes.

 

2) Not Accepting people: At very late age I understood that people are not difficult, they are different. Everyone’s behaviour is guided by his genes, upbringing, education and experiences. They behave the way they are. Most of them are not against us but they see the things differently. It’s like 6 blinds in story define the elephant differently when first time they touch.

 

3) Ignored philosophies: Ancient Indian system has mentioned 4 purushartha (purpose of man kind). DHARMA (Righteousness), AARTHA (meaning, prosperity), KAAMA (desires), MOKSHA (final attainment). The first dharma was used to be taught to children in Gurukul by rishis and teachers. However now days we learn in schools how to earn rather than how to live good life. Reading Geeta, bible and Quran after 60 has no meaning when you have already lived life with lot of sins. If we can study and learn philosophies before the age of 25, it will help to lead purposeful ethical life.

Be Performance Biased

In any organisation, staff can be divided in 4 quadrants.

1) Performers with positive behaviour

 

2) Performers with negative behaviours

 

3) Non-performers with positive behaviours

 

4) Non-performers with negative behaviours.

 

Quality of good leader shall be to get rid of category 3 and 4 as soon as possible. It is not possible that your all employees can fall in 1st category. There will be few very good performers but will fall in 2nd category. Problem starts when those employees reach to the top level. They become necessary evils.

 

If one wants to take organisation to the next level, he will have no option but to be performance biased. All efforts shall be to identify 2nd category employees at early stage and push them to 1st category by positive strokes, necessary training and employee engagements. It is easier said than done because behavioural characteristics are more influence by genes and childhood grooming. However if you are able to maintain a culture of positivity in the organisation, you can succeed in maintaining harmony and atmosphere of positivity within the organisation.

 

5 tips to deal with good performers with negative attitude:

 

1) Identify such people at early stage before you push them higher in the ladder based on performance.

 

2) Arrange proper training programs for them and talk to them regularly.

 

3) It will be very difficult to eliminate their negativity but with good efforts an atmosphere of harmony can be maintained.

 

4) Be cautious in raising their level because they may reach to a level of no retrieval and become harmful at the later stage.

 

5) Don’t hesitate to take tough decisions when you find that organisational interest is more important than personal appeasement.

 

Be performance biased, not person biased.

Happiness Can’t be Goal

In my life several times I asked this question to myself that what is my ultimate goal and all the time I had answered that to be happy is my goal. I asked the same question to many people when I visit as a faculty in colleges or corporates and almost all replied that to remain happy is ultimate goal.

 

But happiness can’t be goal. Happiness is a state of mind, body, heart and soul and one shall always remain happy whatever the situation may be or whosoever the person is with you. If we attach our happiness to have some thing or meet some person or visit some place then chances are that our happiness will remain momentary. We will be unhappy till we get that thing, person or place and as soon as we get, we will be running after another thing, person or place and again our journey of unhappiness will start.

 

So to remain always happy the most important thing is not to attach our happiness to any goal such as money, power, fame, things, person or places but to be just remain happy whatever circumstances we are in.

 

5 tips to remain 24×7 happy:

 

1) Before opening up your eyes in morning smile to self and before retiring to dreams smile and sleep. Make smile a permanent jewel of your face.

 

2) Accept the people the way they are. Most the people are not difficult they are different.

 

3) Love all being. If you can’t love but hate or dislike shall not be an option.

 

4) Make all efforts to improve your life but at the same time accept the present without any complain.

 

5) Make goals to achieve success in life but don’t link your happiness with your goals. Enjoy journey also.

Express Expectations Explicitly

Most of the time we fail to get what we want and one of the major cause for same is that we fail to express our expectations explicitly. Every relationship and every role expect something from other party or from us. Success of every relationship and role depends on how the expectations are met or exceeded.

 

In marriage most of the partners don’t express their expectations because of ego. They think that other party shall understand their feelings and needs and fulfil without being asking. However we forget one thing that we are not clone of each other and probably clones will also not be able to think alike.

 

At work, expectations are mostly expressed but not very clearly and not in measurable terms. Lack of proper communication and lack of training leads to sub minimal performance.

 

5 Tips to express expectations explicitly:

 

1) Don’t assume. It makes ASS out of U and ME. Express clearly.

 

2) At home expect less and accept more. At work expect more and accept less.

 

3) Expect as per capability and potential of person otherwise you will always meet disappointment.

 

4) Be emotionally intelligent to understand the expectation of others.

 

5) When people have expectations from you, try to exceed the expectations.

Be Good Without Being Weak

Someone asked me question on Quora. What should I do to maintain a good character with confidence? When I talk to people with respect they think that I am weak and try to rule me and when I act confidently I lose my goodness and people think that I am proud of something in life. Prior to this few days back I read this line “Be Good Without Being Weak”. The question is how to be good without being weak. This dilemma comes in personal life as well as professional life. If we are polite and sweet in behaviour people think that we are weak but if we are strong and firm, people think that we are not a good person.

 

Very few people we find in life those are good and polite as well firm and strong. My taiji (aunty) was one such kind of person. She used to be always smiling but always knowing what is right to do. She will not scold anyone but her polite and firm sentences were enough, everyone to fall in line, not with fear but with respect. You may also find such persons in your life if you see around. When we study such people we find that they have following 5 qualities.

 

1) They are knowledgeable about their field and they know very clearly, what they need to do.

 

2) They are always smiling, polite but firm in whatever they say or whatever they do.

 

3) They never raise their voice but communicate very clearly, what is to be done.

 

4) They never hesitate in taking lead and by defecto also people make them leader and they fit in leadership role very swiftly and comfortably.

 

5) They are good listeners also and everyone feel very comfortable and at ease in their presence.

A2Z Tips for Sr. Citizens

Age Is Psychological:

 

Philosopher says age is just a number but it’s an important number. Ageing is physiological process and no one can stop it. However feeling the pain or enjoying the moment is completely dependent on one’s mind. My father got detected for terminal cancer and doctor announced not more than 3 months of life but with his strong will he lived for 3 years and published 2 books in that period.

 

Body Wants Care:

 

My father used to say PEHLA SUKH NIROGI KAYA (Healthy body is first pleasure) etc. People can only sympathize in your illness but its outwith age, our organs start losing its strength. Of course yoga & exercise can boost their strength but it takes time. We should not worry about its deterioration but keep minimum 1 hour for body fitness through walk, yoga, exercise, swimming y you who will have to bear the pain.

 

Children Needs Independence:

 

By the time we are 60+, our children have already grown up and if they are married, you might have become grandparent. Their prime responsibility and purpose is to raise family and earn prosperity. Most of us want to fulfill our unsuccessful dreams through them and control their lives. That becomes major cause of bitterness in relationship. Free them with the entire obligation. In present days we may not be able to go in forest but we can certainly try to live life of minimum expectations from children.

 

Do Your Duty:

 

Never think that if your organization has retired you it means now you do not have any role and responsibility. We have still lot of roles to play. A role of child for our aged parents, as a parent for unsettled children, being a good spouse for a person who has sacrificed entire life for us, being a good neighbor and responsible citizen etc. Always keep on checking your duty and fulfilling with proper diligence

 

Enhance Your Wisdom:

 

Enhancing wisdom, increasing knowledge, continuous learning etc. is such a thing which one can keep doing till last breath. All eastern philosophies believe that our soul travel in next birth with Gyana and Karma earned. Effect of karma need to be neutralized but Gyana needs to be maximized at all the times. Depth of wisdom helps in enhancing the quality of decisions at work and home.

 

Forget & Forgive:

 

Once we die, we take birth with no memories of past life. The major problem is we cannot forget this life’s moments and cannot forgive people who have done wrong to us. Not forgetting and not forgiving is the major cause of strained relationships and unhappiness in our life. There are various mind control techniques which can help us in forgiving and forgetting in this life itself.

 

Give Back to Society:

 

I presume that by the age of 60 one has earned enough experience and gathered and created more resources than needed. It is time to give back to society in form of your time, experience, money etc. so that a society at large gets benefitted with your knowledge and skills. Society will benefit by your giving but the kind of happiness you get through your contribution will be much more satisfying.

 

Happiness is Prime:

 

By now you might have several materialistic goals about success at work, money & wealth, name & fame etc. but now self happiness and happiness of close family shall be the highest goal. Ice on your head, sugar on tongue and love in heart is necessary to have happiness in life. stress less life is important at every age but critically important after 60 because your body and organs are not strong enough to bear the consequences of stress.

 

Ignore Pain and Pleasure:

 

Pain and pleasure is part of everyday life. Equanimity towards pain and pleasure is more needed after certain age. Pain and pleasure are temporary. One needs to walk on the path of “Sant” where his distance with everyone including pain and pleasure is equal.

 

Join Relevant Groups:

 

In case we retire at the age of 60 than suddenly our work contacts and groups start fading and we may feel vacuumed. Human being has psychological need to be connected with people. However, few people enjoy loneliness but most of us are social animals. Find out groups which are relevant to your hobby, interest and ultimate purpose. Join them and start participating with enthusiasm.

 

Kill All Vices:

 

All wrong habits leads to physical and psychological illness. It is now time to give up one by one before doctor (Physical/Psychological) issues strict instructions. It may be smoking, drinking or any other which leads to deterioration of mental and physical health.

 

Love All Beings:

 

By this age you may have realization that our life is temporary and all living beings have same soul. Dislike and hate leads nowhere and is more harmful to self than others. Everyone, including the smallest creature such as ant has right to live. We shall not harm rather we must love all living beings

 

Management of Time:

 

If you are retired from work then you have lot of time available. Your family is not habitual of seeing you idle and at home. You may start interfering in domestic matters which may be irritating and frustrating to your spouse. Better plan and use are time constructively. Social work, pursuing passion, travelling, joining some other organization may be even part time, may not be for money but to keep yourself productively engaged.

 

Name after Death:

 

Many people keep a desire to leave legacy after them. There can be several ways to leave the legacy. Such as creating an organization, writing a book, building a monument, or establishing a charitable trust with cause etc. Part of the excess income/wealth shall be invested for good cause.

 

Overlook and Let Go:

 

Remember that generation gap now a days in not of one generation but as short as 2-5 years. It is not necessary that what is right as per your perception is right with other people around you. Either keep updated with new happenings around you or develop a habit of accepting whatever happening around you. Thing which is not of significant importance, let them go to their natural conclusion. Accept everything, expect nothing.

 

Purpose to be Pursued:

 

So far you had purpose in life to earn wealth, name & power. Now it is time to embark your journey towards spirituality or pursue the passion which you left unattended during the struggle for meeting both the ends. Quality of purpose will depend on quality of your wisdom. It is a journey. Purpose keeps evolving with time and wisdom.

 

Quit Your Ego:

 

It is one of the most difficult things to do. By this age you have achieved certain status either by virtue of natural progress or achievement in life. Drop your ego otherwise people will drop you from their life. Ego is excess baggage in future journey. Raise your status but reduce your ego. It seems difficult but it is the most desirable thing to do.

 

Renounce Whatever Possible:

 

Reduce, reduce and reduce. Eat less, need less, less clothes and accessories, speak less, reduce attachment with things and people. Renounce it slowly, without any force. Let the things and relations drop naturally without much of the efforts. Only 5 years back I used to eat 4 chapati and rice and now I have reduced that to one chapati and rice and still do not feel any weakness. Renouncing shall be a continuous process without experiencing any pain whether physical or psychological.

 

Succession Planning:

 

Whether you are in business or in job, succession planning shall start minimum 3-5 years before you plan to retire from work. Though you may decide not to retire from work but delegate maximum possible to next generation. Change your role or start something new which may not be for creating wealth but for doing something meaningful. Let the new generation feel freedom to work in their own way. Give direction if they needed but stop interfering.

 

Universal Approach:

 

The boundaries of society, nations, religions, language, culture etc. is created by human being for the need of survival, safety and belongingness. Otherwise basis of all religions is to have universal approach. We all are one. We are part of one. That ONE can be called by any name. Let us not damage the nature, environment and rhythm of universe. It’s a time to align with universal harmony.

 

Visualize Your Death:

 

You may find this strange but all eastern philosophies believe in life after death and they do not consider death to be event of fear. It is time to repair all wrong done for so many years and plan for balance and next life. Visualization of death helps in keeping your karma on path of dharma.

 

Wealth & Will Management:

 

Except few lucky chaps, at this age income will start reducing. Creating regular income source keeping in mind inflation trend is the need of an hour. Consolidate wealth. Safety is more important than returns. Write your will and if possible make it transparent with beneficiaries so that future generation can live together with love and affection. Plan your finances so that your spouse is also safe till his/her last breath.

 

Xplore the World:

 

Somebody asked various people across the world that if you have only 3 months left what you will do. Most of people had 2 kinds of responses. Either spending more time with near and dear ones or exploring the world. Human being has a natural desire to travel and see the world. At 60 you still have 10-15 years to rome around and see the world. If you resources permit, go and explore the world.

 

Young at Heart:

 

Mind it with age our physical body start deteriorating but our mind and brain has a capacity to become sharper & stronger. Let age do not overshadow your enthusiasm. Regularly meet young people, participate with them, laugh with them, and play with them. Young generation love to mingle with old if your zeal is alive.

 

Zero Loans:

 

If you have no loans, no EMIs left at the age of 60, you are lucky. If there are loans, make plan to become zero loan person as soon as possible. Stop buying anything on EMIs now. Insulate yourself from business risk and loans and lead the peaceful life.

Uproot Doubts Completely

We are masters of making opinions, doubting people, guessing situations. These all leads to lot of thinking and forming our next moves in form of words or actions. It is not necessary that these doubts and opinions represent the truth. Main reasons of these doubts and opinion is our upbringing, surroundings and prejudices gathered in past or wrong information circulated in present. It’s obvious that taking any action based on false opinions and doubts leads to unwise actions and later to the regret.

 

It is not possible to verify all opinions and doubts but if we make fairly good efforts, we may be better informed. Always doubt your opinions which are not backed by fairly authentic facts. Many times we have to take action based on opinions because facts are not available in such cases be prepared for consequences if premise proves to be wrong.

 

5 tips to uproot doubts:

 

1) Check whether your opinion/ doubt is backed by any facts or not.

 

2) Make reasonable efforts to find facts. How much efforts shall be put in, depends of gravity of the action based on opinion.

 

3) Be prepared for consequences if opinions are not backed by proper facts.

 

4) Uproot the doubts as early as possible otherwise that will be rooted strongly in your mind and memory that can lead to wrong decisions in the life.

 

5) 100% clarity is not possible so be cautious while taking decision based on doubts and opinions.

Love Spouse Unconditionally

26th January is celebrated as spouse day in few countries however in India it’s a republican day. But I feel that once we are married, everyday becomes spouse day. Our daily happiness, peace, health, relationships, success depends on whether we have pleasant or tensed relationship with our spouse. During initial days of marriage, we behave like best caring and loving person but after few days it becomes impossible to keep acting and our masks starts falling and our original nature starts emerging. From loving and caring we move to tolerating, compromising and adjusting. That’s also a sort of wearing mask. After some times even compromising becomes difficult and relationship starts falling apart.

 

If one wants to have happy and peaceful life then compromising is not answer. Key for successful relationship is accepting the person as he or she is. Out of 2 one may be organised but other may be disorganised, one may be introvert another may be extrovert, one may be care free another may be very cautious. If both can accept the way they are, it will be highest kind of understanding. But it is easier said then done. It may take years to understand and in modern days lack of patience leads to broken relationship. Accepting the person is nothing but unconditional love.

 

5 tips for loving spouse unconditionally:

 

1) KYS- Know Your Spouse. Find out basic qualities of your spouse. One can learn skill but it is hard to learn attitude and change the nature.

 

2) Don’t ask to change. It is futile exercise. Neither you can change nor your spouse. Momentarily one may promise to change, he or she may sincerely try it but very rarely one changes. Change in nature is extremely slow process.

 

3) Don’t expect that one person can fulfil your all needs. He or she is not super human. Find out morally acceptable ways to fulfil your needs. And if some desires remain unfulfilled, accept them as your destiny.

 

4) Give space. Nowadays everyone needs some space. Interference in small-small things leads to irritation and mistrust.

 

5) Marriage is relationship of interdependence. Before marriage either we were dependent on parents or in hostel we learned to live independently. But in marriage both persons are dependent on each other. A feeling and attitude of surrendering to each other unconditionally needed to be developed.

PAUSE!!! To Succeed.

All living beings have 2 main purpose. Survival and recreation. For survival they want food and safety and for recreation they mate. However human beings think beyond survival and recreation. Since we have better mind, intellect, conscious and ego, we do millions of different things than animals. The question is why we do what we do apart from survival and recreation. We are a highly action oriented breed.

 

Every action is backed up by thought. Thoughts preceded action, some time we consciously know it, but most of the times subconsciously we do it. So we can divide actions in 2 parts. Conscious actions and subconscious actions. I am excluding here inner body actions which are controlled by the system of our body. Whether it’s conscious action or subconscious actions, both are backed by thoughts( present thoughts or past thoughts). Thoughts are generated by either our past experiences and memories or present learning through senses. Intellect analyse our present learning and past experiences and decides for actions. However many times we ignore our intellect and conscious but follow the instincts which can leads to either creativity or disaster.

 

Action leads to reactions and destiny so better action leads to better destiny. The wise is one who keeps pause between thoughts, words and actions. Research says that well paused thought can lead to 25-40% better decision and action. The key of success is PAUSE between thoughts and actions.

 

When you pause, search answer for what, why, when, which, where and how and you will find that your life has become many fold better than previous. Pause before action is key success mantra.

Changes are not Compromises

We all face events in life that requires lot of changes in our life style. Going to school, college, job, marriage, kids, parents care etc. The biggest event in our  life is marriage which requires lot of changes in our life style. But most of couple thinks that they are making compromises. Word compromise is bit negative where as word change is positive. Let us change rather than let us compromise.

 

When 2 people have to live together or many people have to work together, every one needs to change his/her style a bit otherwise it may be uncomfortable for other to live or work together. Your thoughts, your words and your actions may be right according to your perspective but other may not like it or appreciate it. Don’t expect other member to be your photocopy. We all are unique and have unique gene, upbringing, education and experiences. We all are looking at the same elephant but with different angle.

 

The best way to succeed in married life or work culture is to make changes in your style so that other person is not uncomfortable as long as it is not amounting to compromising on your principles and values. Even your principles and values may be right according to you but not correct according to other person. So keep ultimate goal in mind which is happiness in life and organisational goal at work.

 

The best way to lead happy and successful life is to keep making changes in interest of your ultimate goal and accept the people way they are rather than expecting them to be way you are.

 

5 tips for making changes in life:

 

1) Set clear goal for each aspect of your life. Health, work, relationships, finances, hobbies etc.

 

2) We are not alone in the world. We have people in our life, some at close some are distant. So be emotionally intelligent and understand their liking and disliking and make changes in your life style as long as it’s not compromise on ultimate goal.

 

3) Clear and straight communication is critical in every relationship. Presumptions kills the relationship faster than termite.

 

4) Have a periodical dialogue between/among members of family and work to discuss what thing or attitude is making uncomfortable to other member and change if needed.

 

5) Don’t consider change as compromise. We all need to change a bit to fit in ultimate picture of life.