Human is the only creature on earth that uses his mind and intellect to judge & experience the things, plants, animals and other human beings. If you believe in the God and trust everything that is created by him then judging anyone/anything ugly is blaming the God. He has created everything unique but our ignorance makes decision on the basis of an outer beauty. If we like, we appreciate. If we do not like, we hate.

It is our senses that decide our likes and dislikes. Our senses are slave of our genes, upbringing, education and experiences. So the ugliness is not in the things or beings but ugliness lies within. When someone asked Dalai Lama, What is love? he said “Love is absence of judgment”. Judgment leads to liking and disliking, love and hate. Stop judging and start accepting the things and beings as they are and not as you like them to be.

5 Tips how to stop judging:
1. Be conscious about your senses, mind and intellect. As soon as you start judging, control it.
2. Try to look beyond looks. You will see usefulness in everything.
3. Everything is unique. Nothing is bad and ugly.
4. Being a human being sometimes it will not be possible to control your mind and intellect but at least control your words and actions to express your bad opinions.
5. Keep enhancing your knowledge and wisdom by reading and listening to wise people.

During earth formation, neither angel nor demon existed. At ancient times, humans were like all other animals. Their main purpose of existence was survival and reproduction. Nevertheless, human was one of the most intelligent animals, having mind, consciousness, intellect and ego of better quality. Beginning of inclination towards ownership became the root cause of all problems. Probably, that is the point when angels and demons birth took place.

Anyways, it is difficult to establish how we evolved but as on today every one of us carries an angel and a demon within us. We use them as a tool to fulfill our desires in self interest. If I ask entire human race, no one will agree that he/she has a demon within. He/she will prove with all his/her logics that he/she is a good person Alas, if this would have been the case; then there would have been no crime, no pain, no hate, no jealousy and no greed. The major problem of today’s life is that everyone wears a mask of an angel over his/her intentions of a demon.
I usually tell my friends that most of us worship God due to two main reasons. Either we have a greed to get something or a fear to loose something. The intensity of desire/ fear decides what is going to be picked up within us, weather an angel or a demon. When angel is selected, we spread happiness and pleasure around us but when we prefer demon, we always spread pain and problems around us.

If we analyze human acts, we can put them in following six categories:-
1. When a person acts with cruelty where his/her intentions is to completely estroy others. In this case, person is in complete control of a demon.
2. When a person acts to fulfill his/her desires and gets pleasure even at the cost of pains for others. Still the person is in control of a devil.
3. When a person is concerned about his/her own benefit and is not bothered whether others will get a pain or a pleasure, he is standing at the boundary where sometimes he acts like a devil and sometimes like an angel.
4. When a person never harms others for getting his/her own benefits, he/she is acting like an angel.
5. When a person just acts and is not bothered by pain or pleasure, he/she reaches stage known as enlightenment.
6. The worst situation is when a person acts with ill intentions wearing a mask of an angel. Nowadays, population of such persons is increasing day by day.
To achieve permanent bliss, destroy your demon, adopt angel and try to move towards enlightenment where neither you need a demon nor an angel.
5 tips to manage emotions:-
1. Be conscious about your emotions. Watch them carefully.
2. Use your mind and intellect carefully to process your emotions.
3. Emotions may be negative or positive. Both types of emotions need proper analysis and thought process before taking any action.
4. Imagining the consequence of action is pre-requisite for having proper fate of emotions.
5. Do not allow emotions to control you, control your emotions by utilizing
4 organs of ANTAHKARAN.

As soon as we complete our education, our freedom is lost. For next 30 years main aim is to earn money, create wealth and secure old age. Marriage, children’s education, building home, buying car, enjoying vacation etc. becomes the main objectives. Most of us get completely busy in making money so that we can fulfil all our material desires. There is nothing wrong in that but at the same time we become slave of money making machine.

Money can be earned by 3 ways. First is to use our own energy and skills. Second is engaging people who makes money for us and third is passive income where wealth makes money for us. Unless you become celebrity at very young age, it is not possible to earn huge money through first method. You would be surprise to calculate your present worth. For example you are earning ? 50,000 per month. Your worth is meagre around 50 lacs and if you have ability to earn ROI (return on investment) of 25% than it is hardly 25 Lacs. The house you own is worth more than you.

To make yourself free in long term it is important that in initial years try to make multiple source of income so that after 10-15 years you can have passive income where your money makes you enough money to live your balance life comfortably so that you can do whatever you wish to do and where there is no compulsion of becoming slave.

Hey, do not misunderstand here that making yourself free mean stop earning money. One shall never stop earning money. But when your passive income is more than your active income and active income is mainly from the profession which is your passion then you are FREE.
Main sources of passive income are rent, interest, dividend, appreciation of assets etc. where your personal efforts are negligible.

5 Tips How to become free.
1. Develop multiple source of income during initial years of your career and one of the source shall be from your passion such as photography, painting, writing, teaching etc.
2. Invest your savings in assets which can start giving you passive income.
3. Make all efforts to grow income from source which you are passionate about and reduce your efforts from sources which you do not enjoy.
4. Take the professional help if needed to manage your assets and passive income.
5. Find entrepreneurs who are passionate about their ideas and become investing partner in their ventures.

Language we use in communication, either verbal or written has lot of impact on relationship whether personal or professional. Language we use can be broadly divided in 12 categories from most desirable to most damaging. If we can think before speaking, we can use better type of language and can avoid lot of bitterness which is unnecessary.

Appreciating: Appreciation is a tonic for receiver and this create positive aura between giver and receiver. However it is important that appreciation should be honest.

Requesting- In this type of conversation we start with please and we end with thank you. Most of the people go out of way to fulfil request and our things can be get done without much of hassles. As a culture we use requesting tone with our elders and seniors but if we can use same tone with our juniors and younger, we will be always praised at our back.

Informing – many times we have to pass just a information with facts and figures than it is better to avoid any emotions and just convey.
Suggesting – this kind of language to be used when you want to express your point of view particularly to seniors and peers. It is always a safe way to express without hurting anyone’s sentiment and without pressing your point. This also gives an air of receptiveness on your part and will help in understanding point of view of others and enhance your knowledge.

Advising – mostly this kind of language is used with your clients, peers and some time juniors. This type of language should be used only when you are expert in your field and receiver is looking for your advise. We indians have a tendency to give advise even it is not asked for. Indian proverb says ŒªNÿ Eçzº ŒÌyÒo u¤Œç ªçæTz ªo tyu\®z @

Assertive: When you are confident about your views, do not argue but be assertive. With children also we need to be assertive.
Ordering – mostly this type of language is used by seniors or elders with their juniors and younger. My suggestion is even if you are talking to junior, avoid this kind of tone and use suggestive or advising tone, impact will be much better.
Criticising: many times we have to criticise actions of our juniors and younger. Criticism should be like sandwich. Where first layer start with appreciation or positive note than your message criticising the behaviour or act but not the person and end again with positive note.
Sarcastic: few people have habit of being sarcastic on every thing. Such people never get respected except you are a cartoonist.
Argumentative: Discuss do not argue. This type of language should be totally avoided. This leads to next level, annoying and fighting. This is beginning of spoiling the relationship.
Abusing: a junior may not have a capability to reply your abusive language but surely he never carry good wishes for you so as far as possible avoid such language.
Fighting: this is last stage and often ends up in broken relationship. Wise people stop much before this stage.

Your growth and development depends how meaningful you make your intervals. The plethora of distractions that the 21st century brings in our lives with smart phones, TV social media, games, shows and Netflix drive us to become consumer instead of creators. Thus as soon as we get little interval from our routine office work or home work, we start playing with our phone or shifting TV channels for the next meaningless real ease of dopamine.
We can’t focus all the time on our prime work and we are bound to get mini intervals during whole day. If we can develop a meaningful hobby which can help us in learning new knowledge or skills, it will help us in developing our personality. Reading, writing, blogging, podcasting, producing art work, creating music are just some small ways we all can become creators instead of consumers.

5 ways to making intervals creative:
1. Select 1/2 hobbies which you can pursue anywhere in any situation and which are meaningful.
2. Refrain yourself from getting addicted to wasteful activities.
3. Keep your secondary goals which can be pursued in free time.
4. Free time can be utilized for expanding network. Meeting, talking or chatting with relevant people.
5. Intervals are good to be utilized for thinking on constructive topics.

Nothing is Perfect! Man is a bundle of mistakes. Life is a series of successes and failures. It is not possible to find a person who has not made any mistakes and has never failed. Mostly, we come to know whether our action was right or wrong only when we get the result of that action.

The root cause of every success and failure is our initial thoughts. Thoughts are the seeds of actions. Thought trigger emotions and emotions leads to actions. So, the process of actions can be divided in 4 major categories. The success of action mostly depends on what process we adopt. Since lot of external factors also determines the result of your action, the major reason of success and failure is the kind of process we adopt before taking action.

1. Thinking Without Action – This is the first common mistake people make. Such people just keep thinking and due to fear of failure, they do not take any action. Hence, there is no question of success.

2. Actions without Thinking – This is the second common mistake generally people make. Such types of people do not think about consequences but rashly take actions. Some time they may succeed but chances are more that their actions will not give proper results. Such people’s actions are governed by their emotions such as anger, unhappiness, overflow of happiness etc.

3. Non-Synchronization of Thoughts and Actions – This is the third  common mistake generally people make. Their thoughts and actions are not synchronized. They know beforehand that if they take particular actions, result may be disastrous but their emotions so much dominate their intellect that they forget the consequences and take actions which  are more driven by their lust. It may happen that they are escaped from negative consequences but when they fail, they fail miserably and consequences are severe. Quick money, lust for sex, etc. fall in this category.

4. Synchronization of Thoughts and Actions – This is the best process. Thinking properly about consequences and then taking action with well thought out strategy.

5. Still it is not necessary that you will get success  always but chances are that your actions will lead to success most of the times.

Where we reach in life, lot depends on, from where we started and the quality of our decisions in our life. Quality of decisions measured by ultimate results of decisions which lot depends on circumstances which are mostly beyond our control. It’s not that I have achieved the great height but at this stage of life I am feeling contended, satisfied, happy, peaceful and blissful. And I think that shall be the goal of each and every person. Few problems were always there and will always be there because problems are inevitable and beyond our control. It is not in our hand to stop the pains to come in our life but it is completely in our control to have positive reactions to the situation and face it with smile. I still remember clearly that when Papa was told that he has reached to last stage of cancer, his immediate reaction was that not to worry, cancer is to my body but not to my soul.

It is always better to learn from others experiences because we don’t have enough time to do all the mistakes and learn. Though I got enough but I made lot of mistakes also and based on my learning and experiences I am sharing few of my lessons. It is not good to give advise without asking but since you all are my close family and friends, so sharing.

PAHLA SUKH NIROGI KAYA- Health first:Papa used to say that take care of health. 3 things are most important to take care of health. one hour daily workout, healthy and controlled diet and proper sleep. Never compromise on health. There is a lot of impact of our genes on our health however those are not in our hand but these 3 things are perfectly in our control.

PARIVAR HI SARVOPARI – Family is Sureme:it so happen that when we are rising in life the first thing we ignore is our health and relationships but when we are in problem the first thing is we fall to our family. Family can be defined as immediate family, close family and extended family however it is important that we recognise each and every relation and build it to the full potential. Dont consider family as umbrella to be used in rain time but it shall be considered integral part of life. Taking care of parents, good understanding with wife, giving space to the children, respecting elders and love to young are some of our sankar which shall be adhered to no matter what.

Money is important but not every thing: The kind of life most of us are living is dream of billions. We are fortunate enough to get enough to survive and lead respectful life. It does not mean that young of our family remain contended. contentment is good at old age but young shall be full of enthusiasm and strive for great success in life but not at the cost of health, relationships and values. Dont make money as centre of your attention but make good purpose in life as centre of your focus. Let Money follow you rather than you are running after money like mad.

Do What you love or Love what you Do: Nothing can be great if our passion and profession is one but mostly it may not happen so it is better that we love what we do. Dont be complainer about our job and boss. Give your 100% on work irrespective of any damn reason. Apart from work we get many different roles and every role calls for a duty. Do your duty irrespective of any situation.

Give back to Society: When we born we inherited this earth with lot of nature and man made facilities. It is our duty that we leave the world better than what we got. There will be always few billions which are less unfortunate than us. As per our capacity give back to society in form of money, our time and energy.

Ahimsa Parmodharam: Live and let live. We are fortunate to born in Jain family. Though Jain darshan is very vast but Ahimsa is the greatest principle of Jainism out of 5 main principles. Every living being including plants have right to live their designated life. We have no power to give life then how can we have right to take life. Love all beings.

Keep enhancing your wisdom: Quality of our life depends on quality of our wisdom and quality of wisdom depends on what we are learning every day.  Keep reading, keep learning and keep experiencing. Meditation and yoga helps in enhancing wisdom.

Every action has reaction: It is a greatest misconception that there is a God sitting who has power to give us pain or pleasure. Our present karma is our destiny. What we do and what we give, we get back. Karma is a very scientific theory However prayers or going to temples will motivate us to think right, speak right and do right. Dont go to temple out of fear or greed. Go for self refinement. Our soul has ability to become pure soul by becoming passionless. Equanimity in pain and pleasure shall be achieved to become blissful.

I am writing this blog exclusively keeping in mind the date 15th August i.e., Independence Day of India. I am very active on social media sites such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Google+, WhatsApp etc. I receive several messages everyday which are communally biased, politically motivated, un-authenticated rumors, hurting a particular group or an individual which really feels a lot.

India is a land of diversity. Whether it is religion, caste, community, language or economic disparity. We have no option but to live peacefully united and in harmony. Britishers were famous for divide and rule policy but even after 68 years of independence; our political party plays the same game of divide and rule. In era of social media explosion this may be disastrous and devastating.

The most unfortunate part is that majority of our population is illiterate. Their emotions and mind can be ruled by few shrewd politicians who can divert the mind & energy of such public for achieving the selfish motives. There is a great need to inform / enlighten every citizen that interest and safety of our country is above their caste, creed and religion. We may have individual faiths, liking and choices. But when we are united/collective, interest of country shall be supreme.

Good governance is possible where either the society is enlightened such as few European countries, U.S. etc. or where dictatorship is ruled such as Arab countries, China etc. In country like India, it will take few more decades for citizens become enlightened and political parties to be matured. Probably we need directed dictatorship in every state headed by a clean person.

My appeal on Independence Day to all educated and enlightened people is not to encourage the spread of messages which are biased or critical to particular group. We all are unique. Let us live United and follow Universalism.

I do not know how the word WoMEN invented but as per my definition Worth of Men is zero without WoMen. Men is worthless without love of women. Whether she is in our life as mother, sister, friend or wife, she need to be respected with love. If the men is sun, women are rays. If the men is moon, women are its brightness. If the men is water, women is its coolness. If the men is fire women is its warmness. If the men is air, women is its freshness. If the men is balloon, women is air in the balloon and if the men is tree women is its root.

Men is mostly guided by his duty but women need love along with duty. Women is mainly guided by love but she fulfils her duty with love. In Eastern culture women was worshipped from ages and particularly in Bharat Bhoomi women was well respected since civilisation barring last millennium. The prosperity of India attracted invaders and women needed to be guarded but slowly women was suppressed. However since last 50 years government of India and society is trying to empower women. On a lighter side after 50 years may be men starts asking for their rights.

Love the women, whatever relationship you are in with her. Do not treat women as your duty only. Fulfil duty with love. Happy women’s day.
5 tips to treat the women:
1. Do your duty towards women with love.
2. Women needs to be respected and cared for her feelings.
3. Develop EQ (Emotional Intelligence) to understand her feelings. She may be very talkative but expresses her needs in very subtle ways to her dear ones.
4. Do not appreciate another women in her presence. Most of the women have strong jealous feelings. Women please excuse me for this.
5. Men is worthless without women in life so drop your ego to keep them in your life.

If someone asks me, which are the 3 most important things forleading a successful life; I will answer relationships, work and money. Most of the education is to train for work but maintaining relationship and value of money needs to be learned from parents. Money is one of the most sought after commodity in our life. Value of money is well understood in lower and middle class families but children who are raised in higher middle class and rich families sometimes do not get proper opportunities to understand the value of money. It is nature’s rule that things which are abundant in nature are not valued much. A person living in desert knows importance of water so well that we cannot expect the same level of consciousness from a person who is living near river which is flowing with fresh water all the 365 days.

Teaching the value of money is prime responsibility of parents and grandparents. We cannot expect this from teachers. Most critical age is between 5-10 years when parents should be more careful in handling money matters in front of children. Fulfilling all reasonable and unreasonable desires of the child without any conditions, buying child’s attention and love through expensive gifts, spending money recklessly in front of children are few practices which create an impression in child’s mind that money is freely available. And those impressions and experiences becomes great hurdle throughout his/her life to overcome.

5 Tips to teach value of money to children particularly when you have abundance of it:
1. There is no problem in living in a big house, having all comforts, owning luxury cars etc. Important is to develop a habit of avoiding wasteful expenditure.
2. Be strict about unreasonable demands of the children and do not bend against emotional blackmail. What is unreasonable is one’s own wisdom.
3. Try to develop a system of give and take. Child gets reward for whatever good acts he does. Nothing should be easily available except basic needs.
4. Take him to charity trips. They must realize that they are fortunate to have luxuries in life.
5. Right, relevant and proper education must be top agenda for the parents.

26th January is celebrated as spouse day in few countries however in India it’s a republican day. But I feel that once we are married, everyday becomes spouse day. Our daily happiness, peace, health, relationships, success depends on whether we have pleasant or tensed relationship with our spouse. During initial days of marriage, we behave like best caring and loving person but after few days it becomes impossible to keep acting and our masks starts falling and our original nature starts emerging. From loving and caring we move to tolerating, compromising and adjusting. That’s also a sort of wearing mask. After some times even compromising becomes difficult and relationship starts falling apart.
If one wants to have happy and peaceful life then compromising is not answer. Key for successful relationship is accepting the person as he or she is. Out of 2 one may be organised but other may be disorganised, one may be introvert another may be extrovert, one may be care free another may be very cautious. If both can accept the way they are, it will be highest kind of understanding. But it is easier said then done. It may take years to understand and in modern days lack of patience leads to broken relationship. Accepting the person is nothing but unconditional love.

5 tips for loving spouse unconditionally:
1. KYS- Know Your Spouse. Find out basic qualities of your spouse. One can learn skill but it is hard to learn attitude and change the nature.
2. Don’t ask to change. It is futile exercise. Neither you can change nor your spouse. Momentarily one may promise to change, he or she may sincerely try it but very rarely one changes. Change in nature is extremely slow process.
3. Don’t expect that one person can fulfil your all needs. He or she is not super human. Find out morally acceptable ways to fulfil your needs. And if some desires remain unfulfilled, accept them as your destiny.
4. Give space. Nowadays everyone needs some space. Interference in small-small things leads to irritation and mistrust.
5. Marriage is relationship of interdependence. Before marriage either we were dependent on parents or in hostel we learned to live independently. But in marriage both persons are dependent on each other. A feeling and attitude of surrendering to each other unconditionally needed to be developed.

Human being in general wants to live good life but rarely he thinks of leaving better. Leaving may range from toilet to this planet. We use toilet, room, office, public places etc and many times complain that it is not properly cleaned by previous user but how many times we make sure that we leave better what we got or at least same as we received before we started using it.
When we come to life, we get parents, family, society, city, nation and this planet. These are blessings to us because we got all these without being any efforts. It is our duty to leave this planet better than what we got. cleaning the toilet seat before leaving, closing the cap of paste, throwing waste in the basket, planting trees, not spoiling the public places, keeping cordial relationship with others, helping the needy etc are few examples of leaving better than what we got.

5 tips for Live Good Leave Better:
1. Make quality and cleanliness way of your life.
2. Cleaning of thoughts is as important as cleaning of body or surroundings.Keep learning.
3. Pause before you leave the place whether you are leaving a toilet or job. Think how can you leave better.
4. Be organised. Place for every thing and every thing is in place.
5. Dont complain about what you got, accept it as blessings.

Generally, you do not love the one who harms you. A normal human being won’t love Dhatura, Pig or a Terrorist. For them, there are 3 options. Fight, Ignore and/or Hate. For example we may fight with mosquito, ignore the snake and hate the pig. We fight when we know we are more powerful and can win. We ignore when we know that there is no point in fighting because the opponent is more powerful than us and it is not going to harm if we ignore. However, we hate when it is neither possible to win nor to ignore. And it has either harmed us or we are fearful that it will harm us.
Every religion teaches us to love and not to hate. If one goes deep into the feeling of hate, one can find that winning & ignoring is almost impossible. We may feel defeated & sometimes angry which develops the feeling of hatred. But we have to realize that hate is responsible for depression, disappointment and stress which harms us only. Hate is like an acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured. Hate is too strong emotion to waste on someone you dislike. It’s not worth. In my personal opinion, hate is a psychological disease which eats us from within.

5 tips to deal with the feeling of Hate:
1. As soon as you feel that you are developing hatred for someone, stop and analyze the reasons for the same. It may be anger, jealousy, greed, or just an imaginary reason. Deal with those emotions wisely.
2. Try to see things from the object’s point of view. For example, you hate a Scorpio even though you have never experienced its sting. It is foolishness.
3. First try to replace your feeling of hate by ignoring. Try to be in-different with the object or subject you hate.
4. As you start looking from other’s point of view, your hate feeling may convert into sympathy and understanding.
5. Loving all is ultimate point of enlightenment which was achieved by persons like Buddha, Mahavira, Christ, Mohammad etc. They did not hate even the people who harmed them.

Are you laying eggs continuously or adding value to whatever you are doing? If not, then you are useless to the organization you are working for or a family you are living with. At the end of every day before going to sleep, question yourself what value you have added to your personal and professional life. In personal life we can add value every day by enhancing our wisdom, strengthening our relationships and purifying our soul. In professional life we can add value by improving our performance on daily basis; thus moving closer to our goals and achieving them.
Most of us have a habit of broadcasting our old achievements. Often we come across an elderly person who very proudly speaks about his achievements at the age of 25 and so the comparative fairy-tale. More often than not we find that he has been proudly boasting of that particular achievement practically every day to every person he has met in last 25 years. His entire self-worth is built on that particular one achievement. In my opinion if you are narrating an achievement which is older than one year just to seek attention or to feel worthy, no matter how big it may be, you have stopped laying eggs and your life has lost its meaning. You need to look at your life critically, redefine it and recreate value for yourself, your loved ones and your organization.

5 Tips for adding Value continuously:
1. Set your goals and review them periodically. Maintain a Daily-To-Do-List, review and update it regularly.
2. Use your creativeness and innovativeness in whatever task you are doing.
3. If your present job/ field/ role is not giving you any value addition and you feel that you have stopped growing then change it.
4. In present era, where both members of family are working, it is important for both of them to share the responsibilities at home and create happiness.
5. Check with your superiors and surroundings, what more you can do to add value to your present role.

Always Carry Wild Card in Your Pocket
According to Google, Wild Card means:
1. A playing card that can have any value, suit, color, or other property in a game at the discretion of the player holding it.
2. An opportunity to enter a sports competition without having to take part in qualifying matches or be ranked at a particular level.
I will call Wild Card a sort of Brahmastra

The ultimate tool, which one can use to overcome most difficult situation in life. On lighter side, just as most of the females use their tears as a last resort to turn the entire table on their side. Whether in personal life or professional life, situation arises due to unexpected events in your environment which are out of your control. In personal life, events such as unexpected death of dear one, failure in any relationship etc., in professional life; events such as change of job, change of boss, unexpected entry of new product or new competitor, new government rule etc.
During ancient times, people used to practice lot of meditation to acquire various weapons. Similarly in this modern era one should prepare themselves by keeping all the senses alert and deeply imagine about unexpected events, devising alternatives to deal with such situations. Building and keeping wild cards means creating resources, alternatives etc. to deal with unexpected situations so that damage can be minimized or even benefit can be obtained from such situation. If you have wild cards, you can convert problems into opportunities. It may so happen that wild card is never used but that gives a feeling of insurance towards unwanted/unexpected event in life.
Many people keep very good relations with powerful people. So whenever the situation arises they can unleash the potential of their contacts. Major wild cards are in form of resources and contacts. Money is one of the most powerful wild card in present era. However, continuous enhancement of wisdom in your professional and personal wife will help you in dealing any difficult situation.

5 Tips to create wild cards in your armor:
1. Continuously enhance your wisdom so that you get very less surprises in your life.
2. Continuously build resources in your life in form of money, wealth, reputation and contacts. You never know when it will be able to pull you out of mess.
3. Use wild cards to convert your problems into opportunities. Creativity and innovation is needed to sharpen continuously.
4. Do not disclose your wild cards to opponent till last moment. It will give you strength and courage to deal with any situation.
5. Mental and emotional toughness is the strongest wild card one can develop by continuously enhancing wisdom.

From first breath to last breath our personality changes at 4 levels. Physical, Psychological/ Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual. Physical changes are visible. However other 3 changes may not be visible. Because of these changes one person is different from another person. Because of these differences each person behaves in a different way which sometimes becomes the reason of conflict.
In life every person we meet, we try to find common ground, attractions, liking and interests and develop relationship. These attractions and interests create bridges between 2 people’s at these 4 levels. If bridges are short and we keep strengthening these bridges, relationship become better and better. The day we build a bridge at spiritual level, relationship becomes long lasting.

Relationship at Physical level:

Physical relation may start with a handshake or a hug. If it happens with opposite sex, it may sometimes end up in sexual relations. It is more guided by sensual desires/needs and once that need is fulfilled, its attraction is lost. However this need may grow continuously, becoming a strong habit which helps couple to live longer together. However, if a need is exclusively at physical level, chances are more that it will be fulfilled soon and result into separation.

Relationship at Emotional level:

Most of the personal relationships whether with family, relatives or friends, are guided by emotions. Basis of emotional bonding is sacrifice, care and love. It works like an emotional bank account. The day you withdraw more than you have deposited, relationships start sliding. To make relationship strong on emotional ground it requires you to give, give and give.

Relationship at Intellectual level:

Most of the professional and social relationships are based on intellectual level. In such relationship, we give and we take. We give performance, we get reward. Reward may be in form of money, fame or power but such relationships are purely based on self interest.

Relationship at Spiritual level:

To develop such kind of relationship, it requires highest level of wisdom. At this level a person ignores all differences at physical, emotional and intellectual level and develops an ability to see another person at soul/ supreme level. He considers other person like himself (at the soul level). One accepts the other person as he is. Not as he wants. Differences, conflicts or confrontations completely melt down.

It is not that we have connection with another person at one level only. We have mostly mix of all these levels. The problem arises when these 4 levels are not in harmony and bridges created are weak or we burn those bridges by our stupidity. If you wish to have strong relationships, keep narrowing bridges and keep strengthening bridges by love, care, intelligence and wisdom.

5 tips for building bridges of relationship at different levels:

1. First decide to what extend you need to build bridge in particular relationship. For example, it may not be appropriate to have physical relation with a person other than spouse or intimate emotional relation with your office staff. Having right knowledge of limits in relationship is a key to develop long lasting relationship.

2. Each relationship is separate and each requires different bridge at all the 4 levels.
3. Keep building, narrowing, strengthening bridges by love, care, intelligence and wisdom.
4. Clear communication is a key to remove any misunderstanding and it helps in building everlasting relationship.
5. Keep analyzing relationship. It’s a continuous process. Accept mistakes without hesitation. Forget and forgive.

Competitiveness and Jealousy

In the world where parents compare siblings and teachers compare students, it is not possible to have a positive competitive spiritalways. The issue arises whether that competitive spirit is without any jealousy or it is contaminated with jealousy. It is quite possible that a person is motivated due to jealousy which may developcompetitive spirit in him, which helps him achieve success in life. But when level of jealousy is higher it is quite possible that he does not enjoy the fruits of success. Because on the path of success his subjects (with whom he is/was jealous) will keep changing and he will always be dissatisfied.

Jealousy is like a fuel for developing a competitive spirit. In fact, it is not possible for a person to have high level of competitive spirit without having jealous outlook at any moment. Important is how one handles the consequences of his actions that are motivated by jealousy. Chances are very bleak that a person will enjoy happiness and bliss when his competitive spirit is fueled by jealousy.

Having competitive spirit fueled by jealousy is ok but the worst condition is when a person is jealous and do not develop any competitive spirit. That person will always lead a life of despair and disappointment.

5 Tips to handle Jealousy:

1. If you are jealous do not worry. Develop fire in your belly to achieve the next level of success.

2. Do not allow jealousy to let you go in inactive mode. Either be jealous and develop competitive spirit or evaporate the jealousy.

3. Mostly jealousy exists in close relationships. Do not allow jealousy to spoil the relationship.

4. Success is the sum total of several factors and few of them are not in your control. We call it destiny. So accept the fruits with humility.

5. Jealousy can set your goal or target but achievement purely depends on your efforts and your competitive spirit.

P.S. – The above blog is limited to work and career and do not include relationship and love.

IQ- Intelligence Quotient. EQ- Emotional Quotient.

Often there is a question whether IQ is superior or EQ is superior. In my opinion both are necessary however I have tried to penned down differences in IQ and EQ.

IQ is having right knowledge EQ is using the knowledge rightly.

IQ is taking right decision. EQ is implementing the decision at right time with right people in right circumstances.

IQ is understanding what is said. EQ is understanding which is not yet uttered.

IQ can make you good manager. EQ will make you a good leader.

IQ can guide you to right decision EQ will help you in understanding consequences of that decision.

IQ can show you the right destination. EQ will guide you which path will be the best to reach that destination.

IQ is a straight line EQ is with rhythm

IQ can give you success. EQ will give you holistic success.

IQ is a function of brain. EQ is function of mind.

IQ is needed to create relation. EQ is needed to maintain relation.

IQ may create friends. EQ will eliminate enemies.

You can impress with IQ. You will embrace with EQ.

IQ can help you in achieving perfection. EQ will help you is achieving affection.

IQ is more needed at work. EQ is more needed at home.

IQ can make you angry. EQ will manage your anger.

Zero percent IQ and 100% EQ needed to love or to be loved.

IQ is masculine quality, EQ is feminine quality.

IQ is dry with facts. EQ is wet with emotions.

IQ is learning. EQ is listening.

IQ will give you more knowledge. EQ will give you more understanding.

IQ seek success. EQ seeks happiness.

IQ will help in understanding differentiation between us. EQ will help in understanding similarities between us.

IQ will help to know outer world. EQ will help to explore inner world.

IQ will help in gaining knowledge. EQ will help in spreading knowledge.

IQ is a logical side of brain. EQ is creative side of brain.

IQ is tip of iceberg. EQ is entire iceberg.

Both have no connection. You may have either. You may have both. You may have neither. But certainly EQ is superior than IQ.

Many times we buy expensive show pieces or items which needs handling with care. We take full care of those items by instructing our domestic servants and our children to care of those things with extra care. When we check in glass items at airport we insist airport staff to handle such fragile items with extra care.

Same way few people and relationships are fragile in our life. But do we take extra care? We mostly fail to handle those people with extra care though otherwise they are very sweet, caring, supporting and loving in our life. I have 2 children. One son and one daughter. Whenever they ask me question to whom I love the most? I always reply diplomatically. I say that son I love you more intelligently and daughter I love you more emotionally. Once by mistake I said that, “son I love you more than your sister” and my daughter came to know about it. She did not speak to me for more than 3 months and still she feels sad some time and taunts me.

Nature has wired women to be relationship oriented and sensitive where as men more target oriented and problem solver. Any relationship with women as mother, sister, girlfriend, wife or friend needs to be handled as you handle your most expensive and fragile thing. Rather more than that. Women need more love and care and men needs more understanding. Whereas men spend his more time in understanding the women rather than love and care and women spend more time in loving and caring rather than understanding.

5 tips to handle relationship:

1. Give more love and care to women rather than understanding her. And try to understand men rather than showing your emotions. It’s the most difficult task because we are wired opposite.

2. Drop your ego in relationship and not saying sorry shall not be at the cost of relationship.

3. Whenever differences created, a men needs some space and time where as women needs immediate love and care. Whereas we do opposite.

4. Money, fame and power are meaningless if your relationships are strained. Save important relationship at any cost
5. Happiness should be the ultimate goal.

HL (Hate – Love) Scale : 9 Points

9 Points of HL SCALE about Human Relationship

You must be wondering what this HL stands for. It’s not Hemant Lodha. LoL. H stands for HATE and L stands for LOVE. This is same as Hedonic scale.

http://www.sensorysociety.org/knowledge/sspwiki/Pages/The%209-point%20Hedonic%20Scale.aspx

Our relationships can be broadly divided in 2 categories. One, we obtain during/after our birth in a particular family and another, we create as we grow. Relationship can be with friends, relatives (at home) or peers/colleagues (at work). At any stage of life, relationships can be placed at various points on HL scale. 9 points of hedonic scale are as follows:

1. Hate 2. High Disliking 3. Average Disliking
2. Low Disliking 5. Neutral                            6. Low Liking
3. Average Liking 8. High Liking      9. Love

The secret of peace and happiness is to keep our relationships on the scale more towards L-Love rather than towards H-Hate. It is easier said than done but once we know at what point particular relationship stands than one can make conscious efforts to move towards L. Our ego, anger, jealousy, irritation etc. are major cause of holding or pushing the relationship more towards H but sacrifice, let go, maturity, caring, helping kind of attitude can push relationship more towards L. Every relationship needs to be tackled consciously.

5 steps to know how to move towards Love on HL scale:

1. First check where your relationship stands on scale from Hate to Love.
2. Depending on the importance of relationship set the target where you want to take your relationship on that scale.

3. Consciously analyze what are the factors from your side and other persons side is holding your relationship to move forward.

4. If possible talk to the other person candidly that you are genuinely interested in strengthening relationship with him/her.

5. Even if that person is not responding positively, you keep making efforts which are in your control.

Most of us have a question at some point of time in our lives, whether prosperity is a matter of luck or a result of our efforts. Somebody has very nicely explained it. Prosperity is wealth/ success lying in bank locker. One of that locker’s key is with bank manager and one is with us. Unless and until both the keys are applied, it cannot be opened. To have prosperity you need to work continuously hard and smart. And then the result of our karma opens the lock of prosperity. Karma here may be of this life or past life.

In the last 35 years of my career, many times I have experienced that I did not get what I deserved because of my efforts and sometimes I was not doing any effort and got the promotion or profit in the deal. Prosperity is a relative term. For person like me who had to live in 12×12 room along with parents and 3 younger siblings and now living in 5 BHK house is a prosperity and person who born in 5 BHK house and now living in mansion is a prosperity.

The purpose of writing this blog is to share my thoughts about how to handle prosperity. In a book “The Geography of Bliss” by Eric Weiner, I read that people in Switzerland hide their prosperity like old Marwari people in India to avoid envy, Qatari people flaunt prosperity like Vijay Mallya or Mukesh Ambani in India, Icelandic people share prosperity like Goa/ Punjabi people who believe in party and enjoyment with family and friends. It is difficult to say which is the better way but having a balance in life is more important than extremes.

In childhood I read one story which I faintly remember now. When someone was asked about spending a rupee earned then he said, “25% I spend on self and family, 25% I save for future, 25% I spend on repaying my obligation towards parents and 25% I donate to needy to earn better luck in future lives.” The crux of the story is spending in a balanced way.

5 Tips to handle prosperity:

1. Have balance in life. Avoid extremes. Too much of flaunting, hiding, sharing etc. is not good.

2. Taking care of parents and fulfilling their wishes shall be the priority and giving best education to children and settling them in their career is an obligation.

3. Enjoying life with comfort and fulfilling own desires are also equally important.

4. Helping needy and giving back to society and nation is our moral responsibility.

5. In India we say LAXMI (Prosperity) is CHANCHALA (Temporary), so be prepared for all eventualities.
   Live a balanced Life!

Does your HBA (Happiness Bank Account) have enough balance to keep you happy for the rest of the day? If you have smile on your face as soon as you wake up and at the end of the day when you retire for your dreams then you have deposited enough happiness in the account during the day. If you ask yourself what ultimately you want and if you keep on asking by thinking deeper and deeper then you will find that happiness is ultimate goal (for most of us).
But we have to analyze whether our thoughts, words and actions during the day are leading to increase the HBA.

Greed, jealousy, anger, all these negative emotions keep on eating our happiness like termite which spoil our mood, our performance, our relationship, our prosperity and for that matter even our destiny. As a human being all these negative emotions are inevitable but the beauty is that if we control and manage those emotions effectively then the impact will be minimum and our balance in HBA will remain intact if not increase.

5 tips to increase balance in HBA:
1. While waking up and before opening eyes, plan how you will keep yourself happy today. And before going to sleep, review the day. Analyze what were the factors that pulled down your happiness.
2. Make a list of your strained relationship and one by one make efforts to improve those. People are more responsible your unhappiness rather than things.

3. Few people you will find in life, who are very negative and when you come in their contact, they pull down your enthusiasm or bring negativity in your life. Either avoid them and if not possible to avoid ignore them and even if it is not possible to ignore then you have no option but to keep them happy as much as possible. It is not easy but you have no option.

4. Think before you speak or act. Particularly when you are upset. It is better to leave the place and people when you are not in good mood. It will aggravate the situation and pull down your HBA.
5. Do some act everyday which are selfless. Appreciate, give, help etc. This will increase your balance of HBA, manifold.

Decision making is part of our day to day life. Quality of life depends on quality of our decisions. It will not be wrong to say that our decisions drive our destiny. It’s strange that we do not get formal education about how to take effective decisions. Though quality of our decision depends on quality of our thoughts, knowledge and wisdom; however, if we follow FWH method, we can improve quality of our decisions.

FWH is nothing but 6 types of questions. What, Why, Where, When, Who and How. The most important questions we need to answer before taking any decision is – What we want to do? And Why we want to do? All 6 type of questions are not important in all circumstances. However, one should try to write down all possible questions and probable answers before taking final decision. When we write, our thoughts become clearer and quality of decision becomes better.

Since every situation is unique from the perspective of time, person and circumstances. It is better not to apply previous decisions in current situation without rethinking with zero base. Quality of thoughts, words and actions differentiate 2 persons and proper answering of 5WH will determine quality of thoughts, words and actions.

Universalism is to eliminate pain from our life and filling our life with happiness. Founding words of Universalism is Wisdom, Love and Duty. In this world there is no one who is either not suffering from some pain or who is continuously trying to work for happiness in life. These pain and pleasure may be of any type, physical, emotional, mental, financial or spiritual. These pain and pleasure can be personal, professional or social. In last few years I made efforts to know the main cause of pain and pleasure and after lot of study, discussion and thought research, I have concluded that there are mainly 3 reasons for our suffering or not getting happiness. These are not new, every religion and philosophy has taught them but we keep forgetting and there is continuous need to be reminded.

From the point of importance, first basic reason for suffering is lack of wisdom. Ample information and knowledge is available at touch of finger but what we lack is wisdom. An ability to take right decisions, at right time, in right circumstances and with right people. It is easy to chose between right and wrong but very difficult between right and more right or wrong and more wrong. Our greed, selfishness, jealousy and fears do not allow us to think rationally and act wisely.

Second basic cause of our suffering is not doing our duty. In life we get many roles. Role of son, daughter, parent, spouse, employee, employer colleague, neighbour, citizen, friend etc. but we fail to understand about our duty as per our role. We decide our duty based on our own benefit rather than based on our role. Over doing duty can also be as harmful as not doing our duty. Sometimes we decide our duty based on response of other party. We give excuse that if other person is not doing his duty then why shall I do my duty. Doing your duty irrespective of the situation is key to happiness.

Third but most important basic reason for our suffering is lack of love. Due to greed, jealousy, selfishness and fear we have forgotten to love. We give love to only those people who fulfil our expectations or we have hope that our expectations will be fulfilled. Giving unconditional love is nowhere to be seen. It may not be possible to love all but at least we can take a vow that we will not hate anyone. The person whom we hate occupies more rent free space in our mind and thoughts as compared to person we love.

Among wisdom, duty and love, wisdom is supreme quality we need to have because quality of our duty and love can not be better than quality of our knowledge and wisdom. If you agree with me then let us take oath:

I pledge to my supreme almighty that I will:

1. Enhance my wisdom till my last breath.
2. Perform my duty regardless of situation.
3. Love all living beings unconditionally.
4. Abide by the above principles and keep making MITRA.

VISION

One World

MISSION

To have a cheerful life by spreading LOVE and eliminating hatred.

To encourage people to perform their DUTY.

To reduce ignorance by enhancing WISDOM.

Main Principles:

1. Love All Beings.
2. Enhance Your Wisdom.
3. Do your Duty.

Ancient Indian scriptures have described 4 Purusharthas or goals of human life as:-

1. DHARMA – Righteousness, Duty and Moral Values
2. ARTHA – Wealth & Prosperity
3. KAMA – Worldly Desires & Pleasure
4. MOKSHA – Liberation

These 4 principles are somehow related to 4 stages of life also. During childhood we spend most of our time to get education and as we grow younger, we learn dharma and moral values of life. Early adulthood is spent in earning prosperity and enjoying pleasures. And mature adulthood is devoted to spirituality and attaining liberation. Over a span of life, meaning changes. And the purpose of life is evolved and elevated.

If there is shortcoming in learning right values at the early /education stage, one is going to neither create prosperity righteously nor enjoy it morally. At the student age what we learn through senses. At the later stage we have to make sense of what we have sensed. At every age and every stage we have to find out meaning of our life and make life meaningful.

When we enter into the phase of work and family, we start creating resources, earn money, build wealth and relationships, gain name & fame. In others words we start building means and means have power to make you meaningful as well as meaningless. If the means are accumulated for selfish motto, your life become meaningless but if those are created for benefits of others, your life becomesmeaningful.

The problem with most of us is- we become so busy in creating wealth and enjoying pleasure that we forget Dharma which we have learned while taking education and end up in making our life meaningless.

5 tips to find meaning and make life meaningful:

1. While pursuing ARTHA and KAMA, do not forget DHARMA.
2. Ultimate purpose of life is to get liberation, everything else is intermediary.

3. Purpose of life gets evolved and elevated as our level of wisdom increases.
4. Do not worry about liberation; keep doing your KARMA righteously.
5. Forget about the past & don’t worry about future. Just live in the present moment with right moral values.

Intensity of desire & the power to achieve is the thing that differentiates humans from animals. Animals are satisfied with the food they get once in a day but humans have higher desire/wants and makes effort to accumulate at least for 7 generations. Philosophically it may not be right but humans havea natural desire to grow and there is nothing wrong in making continuous efforts for achieving the growth.

Study shows that children who are raised in a comfort zone perform poorly in studies as compared to children whose future is not secured by their parents. Comfort zone can give normal growth but to reach next level one need to step out and take risk. Why it happens that employees in private sector are more productive even though they are paid less as compared to public sector and government employees. The reason is simple. Job of government sector employees is secured and private sector employee can keep his job as long as he is performing.

After completing education, you will find that students who choose job, deep inside they are searching for comfort zone and students who are ready to take risks and face the world, would try out entrepreneurship. If you are presently living in a comfort zone due to any reason but want to go next level and grow exponentially, step out and take risks.

5 Steps for getting out of the comfort zone:-

1. First identify, whether you are in comfort zone and do you have any need to leave it. If your growth since last 5 years is not more than 5-10% then you are living in the comfort zone.

2. Do your SWOC analysis – Strength, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Challenges.

3. Consciously search opportunities in your areas of strength.
4. Make proper business plan and do risk analysis.
5. Choose most appropriate opportunity as per your SWOC analysis and take action to make it successful.

Ignorance is bliss. What you do not know cannot hurt you. Not knowing something is often more comfortable than knowing it. All these quotes suggest that less you know, happier you are. However all great philosophers, scientists and successful people had knowledge and wisdom as a great asset. Whether you talk about Buddha, Mahavir, Christ or Mohammad, all had great wisdom. Kabir and Rahim are still remembered for their wisdom.

Knowledge is power and wisdom is respected. To live a successful life one need to take right decisions at every step of journey and wise decisions are outcome of thorough knowledge and deep wisdom. Formal education helps in enhancing knowledge but lifelong learning is needed for continuous enhancement of wisdom. It is not necessary that a wise person always earn more money but certainly he leads a happy and satisfactory life.

5 tips to continuously enhance your wisdom:

1. If you have 8 hours to chop a tree, spend first 6 hours in sharpening the axe. Same way if have to speak for 2 minutes, spend minimum 6 minutes in contemplating what would be the right words. Meditation & deep thinking are the best tools to enhance wisdom.

2. Education is not limited to school/college. Rather education is a continuous process. We must have thirst for learning till last breath of life. We should do reading and writing on continuous basis as they help in gaining clarity of thoughts.

3. Keep the company of enlightened people. Listen them, question them and understand them.
4. Nature is the best teacher. Every plant, every animal, every human being and every non-living thing can teach us if we are ready to be a student.
5. Every religion, every philosophy has something good to offer. Keep your all senses alert for learning.

I recall a term “Circle of Influence” explained by Stephen Covey in his book – 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. One of the past ministers in state government is my neighbor. We used to see lot of crowd in front of his house whenever he was at home during his minister-ship. But as soon as he lost the election and his position, he has become lonely. On the other hand there are great people who departed thousands of years ago from this earth but their followers are ever increasing.

If we deeply analyze them, we will find that it all depends on what is there at the center of Circle of Influence. Is it position, money, power, charisma, love or wisdom? The aura or circle of influence will be dependent on that fundamental nature of tangible and intangible things you choose. The influence of position, money will remain as long as they are with you. The day it is gone, your influence is finished but the aura of love, care and wisdom will last longer, sometimes even after you have left the planet.

Stephen covey explains that our success and effectiveness depends on how, when and where we are spending our time, energy and resources. If we focus on the areas which are out of our circle of influence, we will be wasting our time and energy. But if we focus within our circle of influence, results will be faster and better. One cannot control competitors but one’s product, services and employees are in their control. So they should focus on motivating employees, improving the quality of product and effectiveness of services. This principle can be applied to various problems and circumstances surrounding us. When you focus on your circle of influence, slowly your circle expands and your authority also widens.

5 tips to expand circle of influence:

1. Focus and deploy your resources within circle of your influence and ignore circle of no influence and circle of no concern.

2. Knowledge and wisdom is power. The durability of knowledge and wisdom will last longer than money and position.

3. In this modern era, social connectivity can help in expanding circle of influence.

4. Do not depend on one source of energy because once that source is finished your circle of influence will pounce like punctured balloon.

5. Life of intangible things like love, care, knowledge and wisdom is far longer than tangible things such as money and position

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Recently on 30th July 2015, two major events happened in India which has moved the entire population. Honorable and most revered personality Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam left for his heavenly abode and CA Yakub Memon was hanged for being guilty for 1993 Mumbai Blasts. I myself being a CA, question surfaced in my mind, “Can education guarantee wisdom?” Though my answer is plain NO, however I invite opinion of others.

In my opinion, wisdom is an ability to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong and acting accordingly. What we become is purely the result of our day to day decisions about our life. My mother cannot write her own name and father who ran an educational institute, once upon a time. But still I have always found that wisdom of my mother is superior i.e. she can differentiate between the right and wrong in more appropriate manner. Now-a-days, education has become a mere collection of information and formal degrees. Definitely it teaches us about the right and wrong but due to our selfish motives, we suppress that knowledge and act unwisely. It does not mean that educated people cannot be wise. Chances are better those educations can help a person become wiser but education does not guarantee that a person will act wisely.
Our conscious plays a major role in giving us signals for wise decisions but our greed and fear instigate us to act otherwise. Strong determination is needed to act according to our conscious. Wisdom do not guarantee that you will get wealth, fame and power in life but it certainly guarantee happiness and bliss in life.

5 Tips to act wisely:
1. Always be alert before action and listen voice of your conscious.
2. Continuously expand your wisdom by reading, writing, listening and thinking.
3. Develop strong will power and determination to resist negativity.
4. Keep happiness as main goal over money, fame and power.
5. To act once, listen twice and think four times.

Previously I wrote 2 blogs “Dreams Drive Destiny” and “Actions Decided Destiny“. Now, I am writing on “Emotions Ignites Destiny”. You may get confused, whether it is emotions, or dreams or actions which decides destiny. Destiny is a destination and to reach destination we take up journey. Emotions, dreams, thoughts, actions are various processes which are required while having a journey. Most of you might have read that thoughts leads to actions, actions converts into habits, habits make character and character decides destiny. However, journey does not start from our thoughts; rather it starts from our emotions.

As soon as, our senses receive something from our surrounding environment, emotions are generated and are processed by ANTAHKARAN. http:// en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antahkarana. ANTAHKARAN has 4 inner organs as per Hindu mythology:-

1. Ahamkara (ego) – identifies Atman (self) within our body as ‘I’
2. Buddhi (intellect) – controls decision making
3. Manas (mind) – controls sankalpa (will or resolution)
4. Chitta (memory) – deals with remembering and forgetting

Thoughts are generated and firmed up by processing emotions in ANTAHKARAN. So emotions are basic raw material for creating destiny. For example, you see Sachin Tendulkar playing marvelous cricket and you get mesmerized. So in this case, your emotions are basically generating thoughts that you should become like Sachin. You form dreams and to materialize those dreams, you take actions and your journey started towards your goal.

Emotions are just starting point. One wrong step and your destination changes hence management of emotions is extremely important. If you analyze all successful people, you will find that they have analyzed and managed their emotions in their area of success very effectively. In a day we develop thousands of emotions pertaining to various aspects of our life but we get result in the area where we take forward our emotions to thoughts, actions and so on.

Incompetency of the staff is one of the major problem of developing and under developed countries. The main reason for the same is poor education, lack of exposure and insufficient experience. There is no lack of sincerity or hard work but lack of innovative and smart work. Entrepreneurs neither have patience to train them nor ready to invest in the growth of employees. This ultimately result in to poor performance of individual as well as enterprise.

The difference in average organisation and world class organisation is quality of its employees. Once a great leader said that you take my all assets but leave my key employees and in no time I will again create a world class organisation.

5 Tips to improve competence of staff:

1. Whenever you hire a new person, first create a job profile and role clarity and search person accordingly rather recruiting first and creating a position according to him. Neither recruit a over qualified person nor under qualified. Focus on quality of person while recruitment rather than quantity. Quality people are always expensive.

2. In any organisation only 5% tasks require innovativeness. 95% tasks are of routine nature. Create detailed processes and efficient systems for performing routine tasks so that dependence on human intervention reduces drastically. Use information technology as much as possible.

3. Invest continuously on training. Training is not an expense. Training shall be continuous process.
4. For existing employees try to match person’s competencies with job requirement. If require shuffle the jobs among staff.
5. Tell people clearly what is expected of them. Set their goals in writing. Review the results periodically. Go in depth of non achievements of goals. Reset the goals for next period.

There are 4 elements of ANTAHKARAN (internal system) as per Indian scriptures. These are MANN (mind/ consciousness), BUDDHI (intellect), AHAMKAAR (Ego) and AATMA (soul). Most of us have unanswered questions in our life, like – Who am I? or Why am I? I am not wise enough to answer these questions. However, my thoughts about AHAMKAAR (ego) are as follow. To understand the real meaning of word I rely more on Hindi language. Because in Hindi language, every word is made out of logic. AHAMKAAR is a combination of 2 words. AHAM means I or me and AAKAR means shape or size.
As we all know; soul has no shape, size or color. But as soon as soul enters into body, it starts taking shape. Shape may be in physical, psychological, emotional, social, professional, intellectual etc. forms. As soon as I came in this word I became human being. I got name from parents. I became Oswal by community and Jain by religion. As a professional I became CA and got titles at work and in society. These all are part of my identity. Like that all of us have different identity. In sense of spiritually; name, community, religion, education, position etc. belong to us but we are not limited to these titles and possessions. They create our shape, size, position, relationship etc. but the question- who am I? Still remains unresolved.

To find out our real identity we need to drop our attachment to all these titles. We need to dissolve so called SELF. Then probably we may know our real identity which may be shapeless, colorless, formless etc. or we may call it soul – a part of super soul (PARAMAATMA). If we dissolve all these selves then there is no difference between you and me or even a mosquito.

Living in this world, it may not be possible to dissolve our all selves but meditating on that may help us to become egoless or close to egoless.

I am born in a Jain family. Jainism is based on philosophy that your fate is nothing but result of past Karma (actions). Whatever you do today, will be your destiny which includes future births also. All the eastern philosophies are based on this principle. With that philosophy in mind, I never thought that prayers have any role in bringing happiness in our life or removing sorrow/pain from our life.

I would like to recall an incident when I got introduced to an elderly lady for some work purpose. We hardly met 2-3 times then. That time when I fell sick, somehow she came to know about it. Later I came to know that she actually walked 20 kms to a temple to pray for my wellness. Though I never had faith in prayers but I was touched by her gesture, selfless love and care for someone who is not even a close friend or relative.

After giving a much thought to the power of prayers, I realized that prayers are not powerful because somebody is sitting there, listening to your prayer and taking action for your well being. Instead, prayers help in increasing the faith in self and becoming psychologically as well as emotionally strong. And which in turn direct all universal forces to create situation/circumstances which are required to make prayers successful.

Most of us pray for greed of getting something or fear of losing something. The best thing which I learned few days back is – Everyday, one should dedicate a prayer for someone else, selflessly. I am not sure if that will help someone or not, but it will definitely give you the utmost pleasure of selflessness.

5 Tips for Dedicating Prayer for others:

1. Everyday think of someone who is in some pain.
2. Pray to your God for his/her well being.
3. If you do not believe in any God, pray to the nature/universe.

4. You may devise your own method of praying.
5. Try to be as selfless as possible in prayers.

Most of the time we are worried whether our employee is working productively or wasting time but we are unaware that how in-efficiently and in-effectively our own mind is working. If your mind is inefficient and/or ineffective how can be your performance be the best. Our destiny precedes our actions. Our action precedes our thoughts. Our thoughts are regulated by our feelings, past experiences and leanings. Very few of us at very few of occasions can regulate our mind. Our mind is horse without rein. In Hindi we say, u¤Œç ÂTçª Nÿç Vçzägç If you want to achieve your dreams, desires, goals, purpose, you need to regulate your mind and thoughts.

5 Tips to regulate Mind and thoughts:
1. Decide the subject on which you want to regulate your thinking. Unless the target of thinking is not there, mind cannot be regulated.
2. Mind will keep on wandering. One needs to continuously stop and think what he is thinking.
3. Early morning time is most productive for critical matters. You need to sit alone with the targeted matter and think all aspect. Personally I prefer to do on morning walk.
4. Before sleep give some home work to subconscious mind. Think of some critical problem and sleep. Mostly you will find innovative solution as soon as you wake up.
5. Focus on present moment, present task in hand, ongoing meeting, conversation with someone. Mind will keep wandering. Bring back mind in present moment. If you are eating, focus on food and chewing, you will enjoy food much more and it will be chewed better.

It is wrong to say that people are insensitive. They are sensitive but they are sensitive towards self only. Selfishness and selflessness are two ends of one rope. The level of selfishness is determined by your level of materialistic needs. As your needs are high your selfishness will also be high and that will make you insensitive towards other people. As your needs reduces, it will increase level of satisfaction, peace of mind and selflessness. It will increase level of your sensitiveness towards others.
You will find that mostly in initial years of life when we have lot of unfulfilled desires, we remain self cantered and busy in fulfilling our needs and greeds. As we grow and our needs start satisfying and greeds start reducing, we turn towards spiritualism, we start looking beyond self, we start understanding pain of others, we start learning joy of giving.
There are few souls who in spite of living in poverty, have sensitivity towards suffering of others. It is only because they have very less desires. At the other end there are people living with abandon resources but still no sensitivity towards others, you will find that their greed level is still very high. So it is not poverty or richness that decides your sensitivity but it is your fear and greed that decides your level of selflessness, happiness and peace of mind.

It is not possible in present world not to develop desires, problem is when our desires are coupled with greeds. Greed will paralyse your intellect and will diminish power to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong. Greed will give strong logics to prove that nothing is wrong as long as you can satisfy him.
In nutshell desires leads to greed, greed leads to selfishness, selfishness reduces quality of intellect, that will not allow to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong and that will make you self centred and will make you insensitive towards others.

5 Tips to develop sensitivity towards others.
1. Keep the desires without greed.
2. Try to walk in the shoes of the others and see. The things from their perspective.
3. Treat people well specially who are lower than you in wealth, position and wisdom.
4. Develop empathy, good listening and understanding.
5. Do not react without giving proper thought to a situation

In my opinion saying NO to someone shall be last option. If a person is seeking your support in any way and in any matter, he/she considers you to be capable of for doing help. Person seeking your support may be family, colleague, friend or acquaintance. If your some time, money or resources can solve his problem, do not consider that you are doing favour to him. Either you are repaying your debt or he will repay you in future. Just help and forget without any expectations.

However some time it so happen that other person is taking undue advantage of your good nature or you are not having enough time, money or resources to help others. In such situation mostly there is no option left but to say NO but wait still you can have 2 options before flatly saying NO.

One is politely DEFER the matter for future and another is REFER the matter to someone else who can help. If both the options are not possible than politely say NO to person and if possible explain the reason why you can not help in the matter and why you have no option but to say NO.

5 Tips to before saying NO.
1. Help the people if you can. Giving without expectation gives immense satisfaction.
2. In case you are not in position to do NOW, politely defer for future.
3. In case you do not have capabilities to help in the matter REFER to other capable person if possible.
4. If not possible to help completely, try to give partial support.
5. If no option other then to say NO then say NO politely and if possible with reasons for not helping.

I was reading a blog on “7 surprising ways meditation can be hurting you” http://www.thisisinsider.com/why-meditation-can-be-bad-2018-3?share=f0b9d422 and idea clicked to write this blog. Earlier mostly I have used the term “side effect” in term of medicines. However there is nothing in this world which don’t have some side effects including mother’s love or father’s duty or spouse care. I know one my uncle who takes extra ordinary care of his ailing wife, that has made my aunt completely dependent on him and she does not want to do any thing.

Whether it’s a fruit or vegetable, whether it’s live or care or whether it’s meditation or hard work, every thing have some side effects. However those side effects may not be much harmful or can be avoided if we know about those and deal them properly. We need to weigh the cost benefit analysis of every action. If we are receiving something then some price need to be paid.

5 tips for dealing with “side effects”
1. Don’t get carried away by the benefits and good side of any action. Whatever it may be. Every thing in this universe has 2 side of coin. Positive and negative.
2. Find out what are the side effects and do proper cost benefit analysis.
3. Find out the ways to neutralize side effects or accept those side effects with grace.
4. If the benefits are more than losses then only go for those actions.
5. With time, person and circumstances, intensity of side effect changes. So one need to be continuously alert about side effects.

As per Hindu Mythology, Gods and Demons once churned the ocean of milk to obtain nectar. While extracting nectar, lot of poison surfaced up. To save the world from the effect of poison, Lord Shiva consumed the poison & hence he is also called as Neelkantha. In this contemporary world, lot of poison is being created around us. This poison may be in the form of greed, jealousy, anger, ego, hate etc.

There can be 2 causes of this evil spread. One that people have against us and another that we have against others. There can be 2 reasons for people having spite against us. First is that they do not support our words and actions and second is they are jealous of our prosperity. For second reason you are helpless but you can control your words and actions in such a manner that people have minimum grudges against you. What people think about usis not in our control. But what we give them to think about us is in our control. When you cannot change thoughts of people just ignore and do not pollute your thoughts otherwise you will be accumulating unnecessary toxins in your mind and body.

The worst toxin is the one we gather against others without any awareness about other person. This happens mainly due to our ego, greed and jealousy. It gets accumulating and one day with little trigger it comes out as ugly vomit which spoils our relationship as well as our peace of mind. Our all efforts should aim towards zero accumulation of such malevolence in our mind. However, being a human being it may not be possible to have nil ego, greed, hate and jealousy. But the key is to keep on diluting such thoughts regularly so they never get concentrated so as to avoid their venomous outburst.

5 tips to handle poison within:
1. At the end of the day, recall your thoughts/feelings and try to find what negatives you think about others.
2. Put yourself in other person’s shoes and try to understand from his point of view. Chances are that your negative thoughts will dilute considerably.
3. In case you have developed greed or jealousy towards someone, analyze the reasons for the same and try to replace with positive thoughts.
4. If someone had hurt you without your fault, rather than developing ill feeling for the same person, plan to have one to one interaction to clarify the matter.
5. Forget and forgive is the best mantra to deal with negative feelings towards others.

Probably there is no one who doesn’t reach to a situation of hopelessness at one point of time in their life. We are dependent on so many external factors that sometimes we reach a point where we are totally helpless. At that point we have 3 choices. First is to keep at least 1% hope to overcome the situation and go on doing the best possible. Second is to surrender yourself to the things, situation or people and let destiny take its own course. And the third is to give up and run away from the situation.

Someone has said that, “If you think you will succeed you are right and if you think you will lose you are right”. So, the success is completely a matter of positive thinking. Positive thinking is nothing but another expression for hope. When my father got detected for cancer at last stage and doctors anticipated just 3 months of life, he lived for next 3 years only because of positive thinking, positive attitude and never lasting hope. In my opinion hope is the single factor which differentiates successful people from failures.

5 Tips to keep hope always alive:

1. As soon as you wake up in morning, count your blessings.
2. Think of innovative ways to overcome the situation.
3. Performing continuous action is a key to keep hope alive.
4. Sometimes giving a break can offer new solutions.
5. Sometimes external factors and destiny are not in our control, then accept the situation and live with it.

Mountaineer will change the path if he comes across any obstacle on the way but his destination is always the Peak. A river changes the course but her destination is always the Ocean. On the path of life, we are in one of the five situations described below.

1. Person neither has any path nor any destination. Such people are mostly not doing much to alleviate their life and soul.
2. Person is actively doing something but neither the path nor the destination is clear to him. They may reach anywhere.

3. Person has knowledge that it is a good path but not much aware of about the destination. Mostly these people follow the footsteps of good soul and hope that they will also reach to good destination. Such people enjoy the journey and they are not much bothered about destination.

4. Person has clarity about destination but not sure of the path. They just keep the final destination in their mind and keep walking. They change the path as soon as realize that they are waking on wrong path.
5.Person who is clear about his destination and certain about the path. Quite possible that neither such destinations are great nor that path is exciting.

In case proper thought is not given while deciding final destination and consequences of walking on the path towards destination, chances are bright that one may have to change vision and mission frequently. That will result into waste of time, energy and resources. Deep thinking, creativity, knowledge and experience are needed to decide vision or final destination. This will ensure effectiveness of your efforts. Right selection of path is needed to achieve highest efficiency. Though, effectiveness and efficiency both are needed for success in life; effectiveness is more critical.
It may happen that we need to change our strategy. However one shall not change the final goal unless it is established that there is no point in pursuing that goal.

Small or big, every living creature has its own world where it lives with its pleasures and pains. Plants and animals create their world for satisfying the need of hunger, safety and reproduction. Their ability to create the world is limited. Human beings have potential to enlarge their world to a greater extent. A celebrity or politician may have much larger world as compared to a beggar. We do not have any control on our own creation but we have full control on expanding our world. The problem is that most of us take the given life as granted. Very few people realize their potential and take efforts to continuously expand their world.
If we do not take charge of our own world then we will have to live with the world given by others or live in the world of others. In that case we may not have any control on the environment. It may be full of pleasure and happiness or pain and agony. As a human being our initial years are spent under protection and guidance of parents, teachers, family and friends. But as we grow, we need to learn how to expand our world so that it is filled with happiness and success.

5 Steps for creating your world:

1. Find out your Purpose: The question “why am I” is more important than “Who am I”. It may not be possible to know the ultimate purpose of our life but what you want to achieve in short term to medium term can be easily established. By the way, the second best purpose is HAPPINESS.First may be attaining enlightenment or MOKSHA.

2. Make the Strategy: Once the goal is established, explore and select one best strategy to achieve that purpose. Like for achieving your financial goal, you may consider between Entrepreneurship and Employment.

3. Select the People: Few people will bring joy in your life and few may bring agony. Few people will help you in achieving your purpose, few may become obstacle. You need to find out. It may not be easy to bring in people in your life or throw them out from your life but once you know the difference, you may try to get surrounded by people who really bring happiness and success in your life.

4. Help Others to Expand their World: While creating your world do not forget that you are the part of bigger world and your world is entangled with the people surrounding you. Your world can not be in isolation. The best way to have expanded happy world around you is by helping other people expand their world.

5. It’s a Continuous Process: Creating your happy world is not a onetime task. It’s a continuous process. It lasts till you live. If you stop expanding your happiness and others happiness then you are no less than dead wood. Pains, obstacles, problems, road blocks will keep coming in the form of people or circumstances. Some will be under your control and solvable but most may be out of your control and not-solvable. You have only 2 options. Isolate yourself or accept as destiny.

Once a motivational speaker placed one dot on a blank chart and asked everyone, what they can see. Everyone answered – a dot. Amusingly, you can see the small dot but not the emptiness on paper, he said. It’s like few people see half glass as half full and some view it as half empty. Our 5 senses – eyes, ears, nose, tongue and touch are always at work. What you see, hear, smell, taste and touch gets converted into feelings and they are transmitted to mind. When they are analyzed by our conscious mind they stay in our sub-conscious mind.

When two people see the same thing, there is a difference in their perception level. Different people perceive the same situation differently based on their education, background, experience, upbringing, knowledge etc. At this point it is relevant to recall the story of blind students and elephant as narrated in ancient Buddhist literature. Few blind students who had never seen and heard about elephant went into forest and found an elephant. Every blind person touched the different body parts of elephant and described elephant in their own way. Jainism also described it as ANEKANTAVAD doctrine of pluralism which explains that even the truth is perceived differently by different people based on their view points.

Our view point lies on the scale of highly negative thought at one end and highly positive thought on the other end. Here it is important to keep your needle towards the side of positive thoughts. As a human being it is quite natural that our thoughts may drift to negativity but we need to monitor & control our mind continuously to bring all senses and feelings towards positivity. Till we attainenlightenment, it is a continuous process to keep the horses of senses under control.

Someone has said, “What you sense, it becomes your feelings, feelings get converted into thoughts, thoughts becomes words, words get converted into action, action becomes habits, habit forms character and your character becomes your destiny. So control your senses, they make your destiny.

5 tips how to control senses:
1.Always be very conscious of your senses. Either your mind will control your senses or senses will start controlling your mind.
2.It is a natural tendency of senses to drift. Not to worry, you can get back towards positive side.
3.Reading good books or listening to motivational speeches helps in enhancing wisdom. In-turn they control senses effectively.
4.Do not feel guilty about negative thoughts, words or action. Past is not important, future is critical.
5.It is easy to control action, difficult to control words and very difficult to control thoughts. Deal accordingly.

Every person has his/her own world. The person might not be able to control anyone else but one has full control on his/her body, mind, heart and soul. By wisdom, power, money and fame, one can expand his/her circle of influence and can have indirect control or influence on many people around. To create wonderful world around us, we need to adopt 3 principles.

1. Love All Being:

Every religion/ philosophy teaches us about not harming anybody. Buddhism talks about compassion, Jainism-Ahimsa, Islam-Brotherhood, Christianity-Service and Hinduism-Worship. The quintessence of each religion is to love every living being. Every creature of the earth has equal right to live on planet and human being has more responsibility to love and protect them because he has been bestowed with intellect and wisdom.

2. Do your Duty:

In life, we play many roles such as a child, parent, sibling, spouse, member of a community, society, religious group, boss, colleague, subordinate, citizen of nation and member of the planet. Every role demands certain responsibilities and duties. Our dharma is to discharge those duties as diligently as possible. Sometimes it so happens that in a relationship, other person is not fulfilling his/her duty and due to that we may decide not to fulfill our duty as well. This may satisfy our ego for time being but won’t enrich our mind.

3. Enhance Your Wisdom:

As per Hindu philosophy, ultimate aim of all living beings is to achieve MOKSHA. Only humans are capable of achieving it as the door of moksha can be opened through intellect. To create a wonderful world around us we should keep enhancing our wisdom by reading books and listening to enlightened souls. Wisdom helps to keep our thoughts streamlined, our words in control and to perform actions that are beneficial to all.

You might have heard saying One Women 100 Suitor or in Hindi ?? ???? ?? ?????, that fits well with present condition of our planet earth. 7 billion people (dreams) and just one Mother Earth is supposed to fulfill the dreams of all by providing resources to each and every one.

If we spiritually look in to the situation, one will find that Mother Earth is least bothered about the weirdness of human dreams. Mother Earth has given 5 elements – Air, Water, Matter, Fire and Space and the overall quantity is fixed. Human can just change the composition, shape and color but in reality the total resources remains same. Mother Earth does not have worry about the rise or drop of temperatures, earthquakes or volcanoes, storms or tsunami. It is the human being who is getting affected by abusing the nature. Survival of human being is at stake and billions of other animals suffer without any fault. In the context of nature protection, animals are more intelligent species than human because they probably understand the balance needed on earth and hence they live in complete harmony with nature. But human being, who is continuously evolving and striving for the best resources, does not live or act according to nature’s will. In this process humans are destroying their own dwellings by acting against nature.
I go back to 1960s and recall my life as a child in Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India. We used to follow 3 principles (reduce, reuse and recycle) without any formal education or understanding their impact on environment. First R is Reduce our electric and water consumption to a bare minimum. We were not allowed to waste food and used to get new set of clothes only once in a year on diwali. Thus, Consumption was less even though people had enough money.

Reuse was the way of life. Like, using leftover food for breakfast on the next day morning by re-cooking it or using discarded cloth bags for buying vegetables and other shopping, making paper bags from used note books and old newspapers etc. I have gone through excellent example of water recycling. In Rajasthan there was an acute shortage of water. My mother use to give me bath in tub, reuse that water for washing the clothes in tub, again reuse the same water for mopping the floor and finally use the same water for flushing in the toilet. Now-a-days, this 3R concept is heard in corporate/environment conclaves but very little is known and practiced in modern urban homes.

5 tips for making WED meaningful:
1. Apply 3R (Reduce, Reuse and Recycle) in a day to day life in true sense.
2. Do not miss an opportunity to plant a tree and taking care of the same.
3. As far as possible, use renewable energy sources such as solar, wind,organic food and fertilizers etc.
4. Implement rain water harvesting in your premises.
5. Educate your children, friends and family about “Consume with Care” and forward this message in your groups.

If someone asks me the one reason for success of world class leaders, I will say that they quickly convert their thoughts into action. Most of us waste time on thinking, thinking and thinking. Taking action require guts, confidence and courage. It is not necessary that all actions will result into success but every success is the result of actions. Big success requires big actions, small steps covers shorter distance. All of us see the opportunities related to our dreams and desires but few of us act with determination and dedication.

Only action is not important but wise and quick action is important. Many of us take wise action but delayed one or take quick action but not wise. Wise action can be defined as the action which is beneficial to the most of parties. Wise person is one who can be right in most of the situation, to the maximum of people and at most of the time. The quality of your decision and action cannot be better than quality of your wisdom. Wisdom evolves with the experience and learning.

5 Tips to convert thoughts into actions:

1. Be clear about your vision, long term and short term goals. Thoughts and ideas will occur surrounding your goals.

2. Keep your pocket diary or notes in mobile handy for writing thoughts and ideas as they occur. We have tendency to forget.

3. Evaluate thoughts and ideas for action. Pros and cons. Positive and negative effect on all concern.

4. Take quick action for implementation.
5. Review the impact of your action and modify your strategy if needed.

we will place our support. It may be with family, at work, with friend or in society. Normally we have 4 choices.

1. To stand with weaker    2. To stand with strong
2. To stand with right          4. To stand with self interest

Most of us stand with our own interest and on the top we justify that we are right. However it take guts to stand with right and weak. It is not necessary that weak is always right and also it is not necessary that strong is always right. To know that what and who is right and what and who is wrong requires lot of rationality with wisdom. Most of the time our self interest cover our wisdom like cloud covers the sun.

I often say that it is easy to choose between right and wrong but very difficult to chose between wrong and more wrong or right and more right. Geeta reveals that Krishna chose Pandavas because they were right and on the path of Dharma where as Kauravas were wrong and path of Adharma.

5 tips to help in choosing sides:

1. Analyse the situation from as many views as possible.
2. Momentarily keep your interest aside and review the situation.
3. Hear and learn all the sides, their stand point of view. Try to step in shoes of others.

4. In case you choose the side which is contradictory with your loved ones, explain them your reasons. Some times keeping yourself neutral may be better option to save the relationship.

5. If you are convinced that you have chosen right side then stand like a rock.

We all face events in life that requires lot of changes in our life style. Going to school, college, job, marriage, kids, parents care etc. The biggest event in our  life is marriage which requires lot of changes in our life style. But most of couple thinks that they are making compromises. Word compromise is bit negative where as word change is positive. Let us change rather than let us compromise.

When 2 people have to live together or many people have to work together, every one needs to change his/her style a bit otherwise it may be uncomfortable for other to live or work together. Your thoughts, your words and your actions may be right according to your perspective but other may not like it or appreciate it. Don’t expect other member to be your photocopy. We all are unique and have unique gene, upbringing, education and experiences. We all are looking at the same elephant but with different angle.

The best way to succeed in married life or work culture is to make changes in your style so that other person is not uncomfortable as long as it is not amounting to compromising on your principles and values. Even your principles and values may be right according to you but not correct according to other person. So keep ultimate goal in mind which is happiness in life and organisational goal at work.

The best way to lead happy and successful life is to keep making changes in interest of your ultimate goal and accept the people way they are rather than expecting them to be way you are.

5 tips for making changes in life:

1. Set clear goal for each aspect of your life. Health, work, relationships,finances, hobbies etc.

2. We are not alone in the world. We have people in our life, some at close some are distant. So be emotionally intelligent and understand their liking and disliking and make changes in your life style as long as it’s not compromise on ultimate goal.

3. Clear and straight communication is critical in every relationship. Presumptions kills the relationship faster than termite.

4. Have a periodical dialogue between/among members of family and work to discuss what thing or attitude is making uncomfortable to other member and change if needed.

5. Don’t consider change as compromise. We all need to change a bit to fit in ultimate picture of life.