LSU (Love Spouse Unconditionally)
26th January is celebrated as spouse day in few countries however in India it’s a republican day. But I feel that once we are married, everyday becomes spouse day. Our daily happiness, peace, health, relationships, success depends on whether we have pleasant or tensed relationship with our spouse. During initial days of marriage, we behave like best caring and loving person but after few days it becomes impossible to keep acting and our masks starts falling and our original nature starts emerging. From loving and caring we move to tolerating, compromising and adjusting. That’s also a sort of wearing mask. After some times even compromising becomes difficult and relationship starts falling apart.
If one wants to have happy and peaceful life then compromising is not answer. Key for successful relationship is accepting the person as he or she is. Out of 2 one may be organised but other may be disorganised, one may be introvert another may be extrovert, one may be care free another may be very cautious. If both can accept the way they are, it will be highest kind of understanding. But it is easier said then done. It may take years to understand and in modern days lack of patience leads to broken relationship. Accepting the person is nothing but unconditional love.
5 tips for loving spouse unconditionally:
1. KYS- Know Your Spouse. Find out basic qualities of your spouse. One can learn skill but it is hard to learn attitude and change the nature.
2. Don’t ask to change. It is futile exercise. Neither you can change nor your spouse. Momentarily one may promise to change, he or she may sincerely try it but very rarely one changes. Change in nature is extremely slow process.
3. Don’t expect that one person can fulfil your all needs. He or she is not super human. Find out morally acceptable ways to fulfil your needs. And if some desires remain unfulfilled, accept them as your destiny.
4. Give space. Nowadays everyone needs some space. Interference in small-small things leads to irritation and mistrust.
5. Marriage is relationship of interdependence. Before marriage either we were dependent on parents or in hostel we learned to live independently. But in marriage both persons are dependent on each other. A feeling and attitude of surrendering to each other unconditionally needed to be developed.