Modes of Conversations
Language we use in communication, either verbal or written has lot of impact on relationship whether personal or professional. Language we use can be broadly divided in 12 categories from most desirable to most damaging. If we can think before speaking, we can use better type of language and can avoid lot of bitterness which is unnecessary.
Appreciating: Appreciation is a tonic for receiver and this create positive aura between giver and receiver. However it is important that appreciation should be honest.
Requesting- In this type of conversation we start with please and we end with thank you. Most of the people go out of way to fulfil request and our things can be get done without much of hassles. As a culture we use requesting tone with our elders and seniors but if we can use same tone with our juniors and younger, we will be always praised at our back.
Informing – many times we have to pass just a information with facts and figures than it is better to avoid any emotions and just convey.
Suggesting – this kind of language to be used when you want to express your point of view particularly to seniors and peers. It is always a safe way to express without hurting anyone’s sentiment and without pressing your point. This also gives an air of receptiveness on your part and will help in understanding point of view of others and enhance your knowledge.
Advising – mostly this kind of language is used with your clients, peers and some time juniors. This type of language should be used only when you are expert in your field and receiver is looking for your advise. We indians have a tendency to give advise even it is not asked for. Indian proverb says नमक ओर नसीहत बिना मांगे मत दीजिये ।
Assertive: When you are confident about your views, do not argue but be assertive. With children also we need to be assertive.
Ordering – mostly this type of language is used by seniors or elders with their juniors and younger. My suggestion is even if you are talking to junior, avoid this kind of tone and use suggestive or advising tone, impact will be much better.
Criticising: many times we have to criticise actions of our juniors and younger. Criticism should be like sandwich. Where first layer start with appreciation or positive note than your message criticising the behaviour or act but not the person and end again with positive note.
Sarcastic: few people have habit of being sarcastic on every thing. Such people never get respected except you are a cartoonist.
Argumentative: Discuss do not argue. This type of language should be totally avoided. This leads to next level, annoying and fighting. This is beginning of spoiling the relationship.
Abusing: a junior may not have a capability to reply your abusive language but surely he never carry good wishes for you so as far as possible avoid such language.
Fighting: this is last stage and often ends up in broken relationship. Wise people stop much before this stage.