L – Love Unconditionally

“Once you learn to accept and love them for who they are, you subconsciously learn to love unconditionally.”

 

Opening Story:

Unconditional Love

 

A store owner was putting up a sign that read “Puppies for Sale”. Soon a little boy came along and asked, ” How much are you gonna sell those puppies for? ” The store owner replied, “Anywhere between $30 to $50.” The little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. He said, ” I have only $2.37, but can I have a look at them?” The store owner smiled and whistled.

 

Out of the kennel came his dog named Lady, running down the aisle followed by five little puppies.

One puppy was lagging considerably behind. The little boy immediately singled him out. He asked the owner what was wrong with that one and the owner explained that the pup was born with a bad hip socket and would limp all his life.

 

The little boy was all set to buy that particular pup. The store owner tried to convince him that he would not really want a lame pup, but the little boy was adamant to buy the same for the same price as the others. He did not want the store owner to give the pup to him free. He looked him straight in the eye and said, ” This pup is worth every bit as much as the other dogs and I’ll pay the full price. In fact, I will give you $2.37 now and 50 cents every month until I have him paid for.” Still the store owner tried to tell the boy that the pup would not be able to run, jump and play like the other puppies. Then the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the man and said, “Well, I don’t run so well myself and the little puppy will need someone who understands.”

 

Tears welled up in the store owner’s eyes and he smiled and said, “Son, I hope and pray that each and every one of these puppies will have an owner such as you.”

We may never know of a greater character unless there is in ourselves something congenial to it. In life, it does’nt matter who you are, but whether, someone appreciates you for what you are, accepts you and loves you unconditionally.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt it was the other person’s job to make you happy, to meet all of your needs, to understand you and know what you want without asking?

 

Or have you been on the other side of this scenario? You were the partner expected to fulfill the other person and manage their happiness.

 

Either situation is perpetually frustrating. One partner never feels happy and content in the relationship because they are looking to the other person to perform the impossible.

 

And the other partner feels unappreciated and overwhelmed by the inexhaustible emotional demands and needs of the other.

 

Sometimes this situation plays out where both partners expect the other to fulfill them and “make” them happy. They are in a perpetual stand-off of neediness and frustration leading to disengagement in the relationship.

 

Lasting relationships simply cannot be built upon a partnership in which one or both people are seeking a host organism to provide emotional and psychological nourishment.

 

Lasting relationships require unconditional love.

 

Unconditional love, simply put, is love without strings attached. It’s love you offer freely.

You don’t base it on what someone does for you in return. You simply love them and want nothing more than their happiness.

This type of love, sometimes called compassionate or agape love, might sound somewhat familiar. Maybe it brings to mind the love your parents have for you or the love you have for your own child.

While people often associate unconditional love with familial love, many look for this love in romantic relationships, too.

The idea of unconditional love in relationships is a noble one. Each of us wants to be loved as we are, without conditions, and to see ourselves as capable of bestowing unconditional love on our partners.

The Meaning of Unconditional Love

Part of the problem with unconditional love in relationships is the lack of understanding of what it means. Most of us will think of a parent’s love for a child, or a child’s love for a parent, as unconditional love. This type of love depends on nothing other than the familial bond and doesn’t break down based on what the child or parent does—at least in an ideal scenario.

In the purest sense, unconditional love is about caring about the happiness of another person without any concern for how it benefits you. Research tells us that the parts of the brain that light up during unconditional love are similar to those involved in romantic love and maternal love, and are linked to the brain’s reward system. This suggests that unconditional love may be rewarding without receiving anything in return.

For most of us, life starts out with unconditional love from our parents. Whether we were the angel child or the one with horns, they loved us regardless. They supported us when we were ungrateful, held us when we were fighting them and cheered for us even when we glared back in return. Yes, a parent’s love can endure the wrath of most any child.

But, what about other relationships? What about the ones that aren’t between a parent and child? What about friends and lovers? Is it possible to experience unconditional love, when the blood that runs through their veins did not come partly from you?

The answer is a resounding yes. You can give unconditional love to anyone you choose. That’s the nice thing about love. It’s up to you who you share it with and to what level.

Ready to give unconditional love? Here are five best practices that will help you along the way:

1. Love someone for who they are, not what they do.In other words, you can love someone’s good qualities even if you’re not particularly thrilled with some of their behaviors. Remember that we all screw up from time to time and make not-so-good choices. Love them regardless because you know that, deep down, they’re a good person.

 

2. Don’t withhold love, ever.That’s what makes love unconditional. You give it no matter what the circumstance. After all, if you just love them when it’s easy, is that really love? If you’re having difficulty showing love because you’re angry, frustrated or confused, tell them that. Let them know that you love them but that you’re struggling when it comes to showing it.

 

3. Always search for ways to show love.There are many things you can do to show someone that you love them. It’s more than just saying it or buying chocolates and flowers on special occasions. It’s helping run errands so their life is easier. It’s taking care of them when they’re ill and setting aside your TV time to sit with them and watch their favorite show.

 

4. Concentrate on giving more than receiving.Love isn’t a game that is scored. You don’t do for them only when they do for you. When you love someone, you give your love to them because you want to, not because you want them to show you love in return.

 

5. Meditate to allow yourself a greater capacity to love.When you engage in meditation, you experience greater connections with other people. You let go of whatever is holding you back and open yourself up to a level of closeness much greater than you ever had before. You’re happier and more at peace with yourself, which allows you to be happier and more at peace with them.

 

Unconditional love can be one of the hardest, yet most rewarding things you ever achieve. For, when you love without strings, it’s then that you experience the magic. You see what true love is and become witness to all that it can do. After all, true love is unconditional.